Do NOT talk to your N. You didn't make him into a monster.He is dangerous and you are better off without him. Believe us when we tell you it would have gotten worse. There's no reason you need to wait around to live through that. It's good you got out now!
Stay strong,
Lisa
I did stay strong. I made it through another day. I read some stuff from lovefraud.com in the evening and that helped me not waver. It's funny, sometimes at night, when I'm half asleep, little things he said in the past become blazingly clear. He was soooo subtle, but he's definitely already twisted past events to absolve himself.
Yey! I'm so glad you did not contact him. Congrats! Yes, always remember the little things they say, write them down if you can. Later upon reflection, you realize how insidious they are. I'm so proud of you for staying strong!
I love the song you posted, especially this:
I'm gonna live my life
And she told him she was never coming home
I'm gonna live my life in my own way
So many women don't live their lives because they get sucked into abusive relationships with narcissists who beat them down.
xoxo,
Lisa
A Broken Wing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RTX6DxJ5G8
This one is funny...I think the words go "I've stirred my last batch of gravy" but I honestly thought it was batch of crazy. lol
When God-Fearin' Women Get The Blues
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jiu7xw2dEI&feature=channel
Stupid Boy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0H4Vr6Czwo
Better Off - I love the songs you posted. The Martina McBride video is hilarious! I love the gravy verse!
I am a huge fan of Pink! She has helped me through so much, it's unbelievable. I just turn her music on and sing my heart out. She is amazing and every one of her songs has a profound message.
Here's a song of hers that, to me, describes exactly how you feel after many years of being beaten down by a narcissist....NUMB....novicaine...like nothing's real:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8GQg1jQHTA&feature=related
Dear Better Off,
Thank you so much for starting a post about music! I love what you posted!
Music is like food for my soul. I so agree with you that it is healing. To me, writing and music are extremely cathartic. If you don't have an outlet for your pain it will stay within you and become toxic.
I grew up playing the piano and have always found music to be a source of great comfort and release to me. Recently, I started taking voice lessons and spent the last two weekends in a local recording studio here in Chicago.
So to answer Grossot's question about my "Music" tab, if you click on it, it says "Coming Soon." What's coming? A collection of songs by my favorite artists that have helped me through many difficult times.
Basically, I hired a band and re-recorded these songs in a studio. The experience was amazing. Even if nothing comes of it, just the opportunity to sing my heart out with an insanely talented band in a real studio to songs by my favorite artists was unbelievable. Indescribable, really.
I'll be going into the studio a few more times to finish everything, but since I work full-time it's going to take several weeks before it's done. I hope to have it released by April. There are 12 songs in total and one original that I co-wrote.
I believe these songs will be helpful to anyone going through the realization that they are in love with a narcissist. It is extremely difficult realizing that the person you fell in love with is not who you thought they were.
With my CD, I hope to help you "sing-it-out" or as I often do "scream-it-out" to music. If you've never tried to feel better by singing passionately to music that speaks to you, I highly recommend you try it. It is incredibly healing. You've gotta get it out. You can't allow your emotions to linger inside you or worse yet, keep them down by stuffing them with food or alcohol.
You have to release your feelings in order to heal. This messageboard is here for you to "write-it-out" and now I hope to bring a CD to you that will help you "sing-it-out."
So, it should be done soon. I can't wait to share it with all of you! I want to keep the song list a secret, but to give you a little idea, one of the songs I've included is Alanis Morissette's song, "Not the Doctor" because it summarizes life with a narcissist beautifully, and I think you'll agree.
Best,
Lisa
Lisa, I am so impressed at your endeavor! I actually read your song lyrics and liked them very much. I see you've had to edit them out for now. I think artistic outlets are very healing. I am trying to do some things like that (not singing though, luckily for all of you)
I also like the song Foolish Games by Jewel, but I can't get the video on youtube anymore. Actually I don't want to hear it atm anyway, because it makes me cry.
Thanks, Better off! I really appreciate your feedback. Believe it or not, "Foolish Games" was one of the songs on my song list! I had 15 songs I wanted to record, but only got 12 recorded. Although, I'm told that's really good for a three day period. Now, we're going back in to the studio to perfect it and mix it. I am just blown away that you mention Foolish Games because that is one of my top favorite songs related to getting over a narcissist. We truly can relate, wow.
Better Off,
OMG! I love this! I never listened to these lyrics that closely until now. It is the perfect song about a Narcissist. I copied and pasted the words below. Thank you for sharing this! I love the music you post here. Please don't stop!
Jive Talkin' lyrics
Its just your jive talkin
Youre telling me lies, yeah
Jive talkin
You wear a disguise
Jive talkin
So misunderstood, yeah
Jive talkin
You really no good
Oh, my child
Youll never know
Just what you mean to me
Oh, my child
You got so much
Youre gonna take away my energy
With all your jive talkin
Youre telling me lies, yeah
Good lovin
Still gets in my eyes
Nobody believes what you say
Its just your jive talkin
That gets in the way
Oh my love
Youre so good
Treating me so cruel
There you go
With your fancy lies
Leavin me lookin
Like a dumbstruck fool
With all your
Jive talkin
Youre telling me lies, yeah
Jive talkin
You wear a disguise
Jive talkin
So misunderstood, yeah
Jive talkin
You just aint no good
Love talkin
Is all very fine, yeah
Jive talkin
Just isnt a crime
And if theres somebody
Youll love till you die
Then all that jive talkin
Just gets in your eye
Jive talkin
Youre telling me lies,yeah
Good lovin
Still gets in my eyes
Nobody believes what you say
Its just your jive talkin
That gets in the way
Love talkin
Is all very fine, yeah
Jive talkin, just isnt a crime
And if theres somebody
Youll love till you die
Then all that jive talkin
Just gets in your eye
Jive talkin
I heard Jive Talkin on the radio, and I was like..hey! this sounds familiar! lol Of course, How Deep Is Your Love was one of "our" songs. Dick.
We also liked Natalie Imbruglia...I wonder if he likes this one:
Torn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTod6ecTzUg
Hi BetterOff,
Such a great song. It has always spoken to me. The lyrics are so fitting. Broken, torn, all of it. Says it all. Thanks for posting this!
xoxo
Lisa
I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldnt be that man I adored
You dont seem to know, dont seem to care what your heart is for
But I dont know him anymore
Theres nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
Thats whats going on, nothings fine Im torn
Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Youre a little late, Im already torn
So I guess the fortune tellers right
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
To crawl beneath my veins and now
I dont care, I have no luck, I dont miss it all that much
Theres just so many things that I cant touch, Im torn
Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Youre a little late, Im already torn. torn.
Theres nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
Thats whats going on, nothings right, Im torn
Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and Im ashamed bound and broken on the floor
Youre a little late, Im already torn
Fire And Ice
(T. Kelly, S. Sheets, P. Benatar)
(from the album "Precious Time" [1981])
Ooh, you're givin' me the fever tonight
I don't wanna give in, I'd be playin' with fire
You forget, I've seen you work before
Take 'em straight to the top, leave 'em cryin' for more
I've seen you burn 'em before
Chorus:
Fire and ice, you come on like a flame then you turn a cold shoulder
Fire and ice, I wanna give you my love
But you'll just take a little piece of my heart
You'll just tear it apart
Movin' in for the kill tonight
You got every advantage when they put out the lights
It's not so pretty when it fades away
'Cause it's just an illusion in this passion play
I've seen you burn 'em before
(chorus)
So you think you got it all figured out
You're an expert in the field, without a doubt
But I know your methods inside and out
And I won't be taken in by fire and ice
Betteroff
I did stay strong. I made
Congrats BetterOff!
Barbara,
A Broken
NUMB by Pink
I love pink too! Very
Music is healing
Lisa, I am so impressed at
Foolish Games!
Jive Talkin'
Thank you, Better off!!!
Torn
Torn
lyrics
Fire and Ice