Scoop's story

I met my ns 3 years ago through my political party . He asked me out when i first met him and i was set to meet him but pulled out at the last minute . I got the sense that something wasnt right with him but couldnt put my finger on it , we met at meetings and always ended up talking to each other , we seemed to be on the same wave lenght and he laughed at all my jokes , he made me feel good . He seemed like someone who would be compashionate , a rock and when he spoke to me everything else went out of the window , it was just him but still i kept him at arms lenghts .

In Jan 2008 i was on a date with a man i had met of the internet and he spiked my drink and he raped me . Due to the nature of the drug i left it too long to go to the police , 6 days , the police where very good but there was little they could do to gather evidence , they found the man and brought him in for questioning but let him go and dropped the case . This left me in a very dark place but i carryed on with life .
After 6 months of not seeing my ns our paths crossed at a fair we have each year in Cambridge . We started talking again and i was amazingly attracted to him , it felt like i just had to have him , so i made sure i was where he was for a month , he later said he knew i was after him but did nothing about it , he got off on the fact i was trying to get his attention . I thought i was being cool , but really he had me in a spin right from the off.

We finaly got together one very drunken evening at a confrence . We just started kissing and a couple of evenings later he stayed in my room on the floor but ended up in my bed ,Im not going to go into detail but what happened that night was very telling . We where kissing and making out but he got too carryed away and got too excited (on my leg) . Straight after that he launched into a long monolog about how he didnt fancy me and we should be friends but all the time kissing me as he was saying it .

The next morning he said sorry and that he did like me but he was worryed about his sexual performance and that is why he said he didnt like me .

He then chased after me texting and emailing but never calling . I headed willingly into a relationship with him and was very happy untill the first D&D about 4 months into things . It came very quickly over about 2 weeks . The last week he started arguments every night , really showing his true colours , being a compleatly diffrent person but in the morning he always said sorry . I didnt see what was coming but the morning of the first break up we had had sex and i was only wearing a towel and he dumped me saying he didnt want a relationship . We broke up for 5 weeks but i chased him to get him back , he came back and for the next 3 months we where happy apart from the very subtle devaluing talking about my problems that he was helping me with and just subtle digs . Then the second D&D started he would start even more attacks on me late at night reducing me to tears and talking to me in such a way i didnt recognise him , he was two very diffrent people and the things he said where shocking but i was so in love at this point i was helpless against him .
We split up for 2 weeks although he hung out with me both weekends .

We got back together and the last 4 months was where the real kissing me then slapping me began .He used to threaten abandonment to shut me up and by the last couple of weeks of the month of the relationship the progection and gaslighting and jekal and hyde sides to him where something to be believed .The night we had the last argument he had a look in his eye which scared me to death . I wrote to him acussing him of emotional abuse and he ended it by at the end of the week .

I went no contact about a week after reading up on narcissism .

I read this and now it is so obvious what was happening but when i was in it i was in such a place of confusion , swinging from pure bliss to absolute hell many many times .