Are You Being Bullied at Work by a Narcissist?

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#1 July 30, 2011 - 9:06am
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Are You Being Bullied at Work by a Narcissist?

"Workplace bullying is behavior that threatens, intimidates, humiliates, or isolates people at work, or undermines their reputation or job performance. Bullying includes a wide range of behaviors, from subtle or unconscious incivilities to blatant, intentional emotional violence." ~ Fox & Stallworth

Since bullying can be blatant or subtle and covert, we do not always realize when we are being emotionally traumatized.

Below is a checklist created by Dr. Suzy Fox and Dr. Lamont E. Stallworth of Loyola University Chicago.

If any of the following resonate with you, you are being bullied at work and must address it. We are here to provide support and be a sounding board.

1. THREATENING OR INTIMIDATING BEHAVIOR
– Nonverbal (e.g. eye contact, gestures)
– Verbal (e.g. yelling, cursing)
– Threatening physical violence or job loss
– Used email or other online media to harass, threaten, or intimidate you ("cyber-bullying")

2. DEMEANING BEHAVIOR
– Insults and put-downs
– Excessively harsh criticism of job performance

3. ISOLATION
– Silent treatment
– Exclusion from work meetings
– Intentionally leave room when you enter
– Failed to return your phone calls, e-mails

4. ABUSIVE SUPERVISION
– Threaten with job loss or demotion
– Excessively harsh criticism of job performance
– Blamed you for errors which were not your fault
– Applied rules and punishments inconsistently
– Made unreasonable work demands

5. WORK SABOTAGE
– Attacked or failed to defend your plans
– Intentionally destroyed, stolen, or sabotaged your work materials

6. HARM TO REPUTATION
– Spread rumors (personal or work-related)
– Took credit for your work
– Used email or other online media to attack your reputation or degrade you to others ("cyber-bullying")

References

Fox, S. & Stallworth, L.E. (2005) Racial/Ethnic Bullying: Exploring Links Between Bullying and Racism in the U.S. Workplace. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 66, 438-456.

Fox, S. & Stallworth, L.E. (2010). The Battered Apple: An Application of Stressor-Emotion-Control/Support Theory to Teachers’ Experience of Violence and Bullying. Human Relations, 63, 927-954.

Fox, S. & Spector, P.E. (2005). Counterproductive Work Behavior: Investigations of Actors and Targets. Washington DC: APA Press.

August 3, 2011 - 8:45pm
BAW
BAW's picture

Ugh yes

I've been working for the same narc boss for YEARS. Funnily enough, I didn't notice what the issue was until I got rid of my narc husband, felt peaceful at home and then realized that i had the exact same narc BS stress at work! Since that realization I've been going back an forth with myself about staying at this job that i really really love in every other way, or leaving because of this guy who treats me hot and cold depending on what insane mood he's in. Sigh. Why are there so many of them???
August 4, 2011 - 8:49am (Reply to #4)
Mag
Mag's picture

BAW

There's so many of them out there!!!!....Wow!!!!!
July 30, 2011 - 7:13pm
Susan32
Susan32's picture

That was FIVE YEARS

I worked in a nursing home kitchen for 5 years with a Narc boss. Right off the bat, he was threatening me with firing. I had barely started, and every mistake meant getting yelled&cussed at. He did make unreasonable demands-he liked making my job progressively harder- while not lifting a finger. I was punished harshly, while a massively obese Narc coworker got away with letting underage drinking&a teenage girl expose herself on the nursing home grounds. The former N boss was consistent when it came to #1,2, and 4. He palled around with bullying coworkers. He's still friends with a coworker whom he injured, called a b*tch behind her back, and who lied about her injury... this coworker also forced her granddaughter to have an abortion. He'd blame me for things that were beyond my power. Once, they had to turn the water off in the building-the residents needed water with their meals-so I used the emergency water bottles. I got yelled at. When I put a bottle of honey on the counter that was still sticky on the bottom (this was early on), he screamed obscenities at me. He LIKED constantly threatening job loss. I felt like I sacrificed myself for that job... with NOTHING in return.
July 30, 2011 - 12:20pm
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Lisa G-d bless you for

Lisa G-d bless you for bringing this to the attention of the group and for this site, without which I would be on a street somewhere. I was very severely harassed by the N (actually two N's who harassed in tandem) and I made several reports to the powers-that-be as well as HR within our organization. The place happened to be run by all men and the woman at HR was female but was not to be trusted. I have been severely blacklisted in my field, ignored by colleagues who were once "close" friends, and traumatized for the last six years as a result of my turning in the narcs. I should have sued and I didn't but I did have a lawyer who tried to be a mediator short of filing a suit, and I had many grounds to sue. I made a mistake and when I wanted to sue I was past the statutes of limitations to do so. It has to be within one year of the complaint of harassment. So I would say, if your needs are not being heard or you are being further retaliated against by your workplace because you turned in the narc, go after them even if you have to file suit. Retaliation is also illegal (please do a search on Google). In the long run you will be able to say you did the right thing and you will most likely be shunned in your profession anyway to some extent IF the person you are turning in is powerful as mine was. In this case, it is better for one to go all the way and have the law on your side.