Silent

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#1 August 20, 2011 - 8:41pm
needing2know
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Silent

Has anyone heard of THE Silent narcissist, how likely is it they come back, mine has been gone a month and haven't heard a word form him, how often does the N come Back, and how long do they usually ignore you?

March 15, 2012 - 9:52pm
Loveyy09
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This is all entirely new to

December 31, 2011 - 10:47am
ruby01 (not verified)
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needing2know

To keep yourself moving forward recognize that trying to figure out what he is doing/thinking doesn't effect your life anymore. At first we may not like what happened to us as a result of letting an abuser into our lives. They got in because we were unaware. You are now fully aware and back in control of your life. The truth is that, "It is what it is." He is a memory that your mind is hanging on to. He really doesn't exist in your physical world. When you fully surrender to the truth in what is, you will bring peace to your life.
December 31, 2011 - 11:15am (Reply to #12)
needing2know
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ruby01

this was posted back in August, I have come so far and I know and realize and accept who and what he is. I am hanging on to NOTHING anymore when it comes to him. This forum has helped me in so many ways.
November 19, 2011 - 5:31pm
walking_on_sunshine
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I think what makes them come

I think what makes them come back is a combo of these references.... How desperate the n is at any given time( level of current supply such as new gf, good booty calls, n supplying friends or family ) vs Whether or not they believe that they will be accepted or rejected if they try (does he believe u still love him and that he could get you to sleep with him or console him in his current lack of supply) vs how badly devalued the victim was at the last contact. ( in his mind, is the victim good for nothing, or good for something eg- sex money, status or attention ) vs How much the victim was onto the N (how much she exposed him to his real self) The reason why most come back is that even when chances are doubtful Eg- Rejection is likely,the woman was fully devalued and discarded and she was also onto him, if he should ever loose all other supply, he will still usually come back. We are not special though, just because he returns. We all become numbers on a supply list with an ever changing value placed becide us.A value that only moves downward. If #1 isnt available then goto #2, if #2 isnt available then goto #3.Eventually new supply comes through and we are no longer in the top 10. Plus we eventually obtain a zero value becide our name, and then we become obselete.
December 16, 2013 - 11:08am (Reply to #10)
homeschoolmama
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LOVE THIS!

August 20, 2011 - 9:25pm
ordinarycourage
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Silent n

My exN won't speak to me in person but feels free to e-mail bomb me once in awhile. Also, he has cut off contact with both of his sisters. oh, and he won't speak to my mother either.
August 20, 2011 - 9:18pm
rosedewittbukater
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silent

This is one of their standard tactics. There is no black and white answer. Mine has come back after over a month completely silent, but not all do. Others here have said that their N has disappeared off the face of the earth only to return years later!! A smaller number of folks related that their xN left (or they got the strength to leave the abusive relationship themselves) and never came back. I think some of the more seriously disordered ones have so much hate and contempt once they have decided they can't use you anymore or you are "onto them" that this is such an immense narcissistic injury to them they would as soon see you dead than ever speak to you again. I don't know your story but if this person has NPD or could be otherwise psychopathic this is some valuable information which I refer to help myself maintain NC. I am sorry if it stings but everyone needs to understand this. http://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com/2011/08/03/reconciling-with-a-psychopath-the-dangerous-lure-of-the-honeymoon-phase/ Peace, Rose
August 20, 2011 - 9:27pm (Reply to #5)
needing2know
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I think thats what he did he

I think thats what he did he left the relationship himself, so I'm one of the lucky ones, he won't contact me anymore
August 20, 2011 - 9:35pm (Reply to #6)
rosedewittbukater
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That doesn't mean

he won't in the future. If you can, try to prepare yourself for that, but if it does not happen do not take it as a sign of some fault of yours! Be thankful that someone who possibly did not value you as you deserved to be valued and cherished is out of your life! xx Rose
August 20, 2011 - 9:43pm (Reply to #7)
needing2know
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I know him

I know him well enough to know he will not ever contact me, I was always the one who initiated contact when we broke up. he would never do that.But Iam doing alot of reading trust me
August 20, 2011 - 9:10pm
Sherbear
Sherbear's picture

I went NC one year ago....

tomorrow is one year, and he has remained silent the whole time. The d&d was 17 months ago and he went silent for a month, would pop up every 4-6 weeks when it was convenient for him. He would ignore my attempts at contact. This went on for 5 months...until I saw the pics of his ow and him, dates on each pic. It all finally came together last 8/22...it was sudden and shocking to see the truth, but I was so grateful to be out of limbo. I sent him a message that said I was happy for he and his girl and I wished them the best...and that it was time for me to let him go now. he waited a day and texted me..."don't be like that, she is a friend." (She preserved his birthday flowers "forever" for fuck's sake). That made me even more sick, b/c it was obvious that she was crazy for him...and he was telling me that she was a freind. Jerk. I didn't respond and then I blocked him on FB and then he raged. Sent me a text 2-3 days later...Saying that he had no idea what I was thinking and if we couldn't be friends, it was my loss. And whoever I tell my psycho story too, they will hear the truth from him. That I obviously had way differnt ideas of what a few times together meant. He then told me to keep his name out of my mouth and to leave him alone. I NEVER RESPONDED. That was 364 days ago~!! I beleive I inflicted severe narc injury on him and he is paranoid that I am going to expose him and all his secrets he told me. So I honestly don't expect to hear from him again. But he is a narc and I have heard they always come back...he came back 25 years later and nearly destroyed me.
October 2, 2012 - 9:55am (Reply to #2)
Fellforaclown
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Silent

October 2, 2012 - 2:25pm (Reply to #3)
needing2know
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fellforaclown