New Supply Spotted

Hello

I am really dealing with so much sadness. =(

Seeing his new blonde supply hurt more than I expected it to, really after all I have read. Saw them at a restaurant Friday after work, band, beer and cheap food. I was having a pretty nice time until I saw them. I just kind of froze. still. I turned my head away and stared out at whatever I could. Just letting my head absorb him holding her hand.
Then my friends noticed , and we discussed leaving.

But you know, I had to get another look. Risk him seeing me. I sooooo didn't want him to see me! The crowd parted at just the time I was dipping away and also looking to get a better look at her, and he saw me.

So -no drama or anything, not jealous, it is a natural part of moving on, but it really hurt.

a lot.

I always knew she would come, just wasn't sure what she would look like, and they usually chose attractive women, so I shouldn't really be surprised. And since he is also very attractive , I could tell she liked him from the expressions on her face.

So tonight, researching to remind my self again, I come across a very curious article .....please take a read!

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If you are the victim of a narcissist you may not be entirely innocent yourself. To become a victim there needs to be an element of narcissistic behavior on your part at the beginning of your relationship when the narcissist reflects you back to yourself; this is why he appears so charming. He allows you to love your own reflection.

Some examples of the ego massaging that the narcissist indulges in are, "you look great in that"; "is there anything you're not good at"; "you are perfect" and so on. He says all the things that you wanted your parents to say to you when you were young. In this way he endears himself to you, and you will never want to believe the truth, that he is actually indifferent towards you. But the truth is that he only pretends to admire you so that you will admire him in return.

Dr Alan Rappoport uses the term 'co-narcissist' to describe people who "work hard to please others, defer to other’s opinions, worry about how others think and feel about them, are often depressed or anxious, find it hard to know their own views and experience, and take the blame for interpersonal problems. They fear being considered selfish if they act assertively." They are like this because of their attempts to get along with their narcissistic parents during childhood. Co-narcissist (or co-dependents) have been primed by their parent(s) to become a narcissist's prey. And as Dr Alan Rappoport states, a high proportion of psychotherapy patients are co-narcissistic, suffering from anxiety and/or depression.

The co-narcissist is the mirror image of the narcissist. In a relationship between two co-narcissists, one will adopt the narcissist's dominant position. The co-narcissist has been brought up to believe that in any interpersonal interaction, one person is narcissistic and the other co-narcissistic. So one co-narcissist adopts the role of the narcissist whilst the other continues as a co-narcissist, taking the blame for interpersonal problems.

Unfortunately for the narcissists' victims, and the co-narcissist who adopts the role of the narcissist, eventually they realize that their lives are either being controlled or are out of control. They don't have healthy means of self-expression. A pre-requisite to happiness is being in control, or at least the perception of being in control, without which anxiety and/or depression results.

The need to be honest with yourself is paramount. Denial, failure to acknowledge what is going on, is the first obstacle that must be overcome.

However, this becomes almost impossible for a co-narcissist who continues to interact with his or her narcissist. The co-narcissist unconsciously assumes that everyone else is narcissistic, so finds it almost impossible to develop a relationship in which neither individual dominates. But this is what is required; a relationship in which neither person has a need to dominate the other, and each can appreciate what the other has to offer.

http://winning-teams.com/philosophy/happiness.html

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good nigh