Ella Fan's Story

My Narc has lost most of his friends because of the way he treats women. This is a small, faith-based community with two Christian colleges right across the street and a community that prides itself on being something like Mayberry. (No kidding).

This guy has, in the past about every 6 months, changed groups of friends because he has been confronted and refuses to change. What happens in a community like ours is people are still friendly (socially) to him, even keep him on email and facebook contacts because they have to see him all the time, but there is this sort of shunning thing going on just beneath the surface. Very subtle....but even I pick up on it.

He keeps going back a generation every time he needs a new group of friends. The last two groups just believe everything (guys and gals) and act horrified. His long-time best friend and room-mate "George" is one of the nicest, most stable, godly guys I know. Yet, when my ex Narc tells him lies when we aren't getting along, I get these terrified looks when I see George like he expects me to boil a bunny in front of him, or something.

My history has been stable for over 2 years....since I put him out of my life. So, why would otherwise, stable, kind guys who KNOW this guy, have SEEN what he has done, and LIVE in the same house with him, take his side?

This is a question I have no answers to. It has actually made me lose respect for his friends who act this way, and avoid them as well.