DLP75's revelation

I posted earlier at DLP's story, but I wanted to share a revelation I had yesterday. I have read everything I can about narcissism. I researched and analyized everything I could while relating to the way my ex narc acted. I have been having a tough time getting my heart to catch up with my mind, because after understanding more about her as a Narc, my mind has been good to get past alot of things.I finally realized that my mind and heart will never match, and that's o.k. I cannot stop my heart from loving the woman I fell deeply in love with. But if she were to try to contact me today, I know that my mind would in no way accept any form of communication, mainly because of trust, and the fact that emotionally I am dealing with a child. My problem is I have been looking at this whole abrupt break up as if I'm dealing with a "normal" break up with a "normal", emotionally stable person. That...is why the conflict and turmoil in my heart and mind has been so overwhelming. My narc and I are both in our 50's, so one would assume if two people that age break up, they would show signs of something being wrong, or especially after 9 years together and so much invested, we'd have gone to counseling or at least talked about any problems. I finally have realized that comparing what I've read to who she is, that a lot of the things she said in the relationship were things a pre-teen would say. Even breaking up over the phone after 9 years and not confronting is how people break up in their teens. When I started looking at the childish ways she had and childish things she said, I realized I was trying to compare myself being 54 and somewhat normal, to someone who although is in a 50 year old body is a mere child inside. That's why she sweated the small stuff. Wore all her feelings on her sleeve. Bought 3 houses in 9 years.Got bored easily as we would have just been somewhere or done something and she would ask, "What are we going to do now"?. She pouted with the silent treatment a lot, and ultimately cheated on me and left. Children always want something new. And although I was looking at shell of a woman I love deeply, I was actually with an unpredictable child. This has been in front of me all along and I've just now seen it. I just thought I'd share this revelation to maybe help someone else who is struggling with the head-heart battle.