"Goodbye Letter" Forum

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#1 December 12, 2011 - 11:42pm
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

"Goodbye Letter" Forum

Step 2 includes Sharing Your Story and writing a Goodbye Letter to your ex-narc.

The purpose of this forum is to share our Goodbye Letters with one another. We must process and validate our feelings before we can move on. Repressing our feelings has been shown to negatively affect our physical and emotional health. It is absolutely critical to process our feelings if we want to improve our happiness and well-being.

A Narcissist will never give us closure, but we can give ourselves closure by processing our feelings and allowing ourselves to feel the emotions we need to feel.

The purpose of this forum is to write a Goodbye Letter to your narc. You can say anything you want in your letter. It is your letter to your narcissist to get your feelings out. You will never send this letter to him, of course. It is simply for your benefit only. It should come from your heart and has no specific requirements. You should tell your Narcissist how he hurt you. Tell him how you feel. Explain what you sacrificed and what he didn’t. Don’t hold back. Get it all out. This is the time to tell him everything you ever wanted to and more.

It is critical for you to confront the trauma you experienced and process the emotions that are a direct result of the pain you endured. We cannot repress our feelings and we must confront what happened to us. If we do not, we will remain stuck.

"There is no coming to consciousness without pain." ~ Carl Jung

December 29, 2011 - 8:20pm
mi278
mi278's picture

Goodbye

Goodbye to the thought of us...goodbye to the interactions that almost, but never really created ANYTHING. Goodbye to the illusion, and my own denial. I am still reeling from a stupid FB post about you already being in a new relationship. I am still mad at myself for even caring, but I do. I feel stupid, but not at all surprised but I sit here in shock. Totally irony. We will no longer have any texts as I now did what I was supposed to and erased you from my phone and FB. I guess not only did I not want to completely let go, but I did not want to completely dive in to this process. You and I both knew what we were doing yet I can't help but feel taken advantage of. I know you are a N and I know that ultimately under that shining exterior you display, you only care about what you want and need. I am not built that way. Yes I can be very selfish. But not like you, I will never be like you. You prided yourself on telling me that I would never meet anyone else like you...well I hope not. I want to trust people, but you have solidified that I cannot. I was told by my inner voice "Beware", but you were persistant and I did not heed. Now I know, and now I grieve.
December 29, 2011 - 8:33pm (Reply to #2)
susnebraska
susnebraska's picture

Same story

I feel for you. Sounds like a page from my life. Exactly. We are good people. NARC is not. He is an emotional vampire.You went through an emotional roller coaster! NO MORE. The deep pain we feel is so real. I am so sorry you are forced to pick up the pieces, like I. It takes a lot of time. But you will, I repeat, you will get strong! We are so broken now. But please have hope and faith. When you are ready, try to find someone who is like you. Good hearted and kind. Be wary of the braggart. Heed to red flags. Does the date talk about himself more than asking about you. Does he blow you off on the date? Red flag. Does he try to rush, rush, rush into the relationship with full force? Back off. Take control. Seriously. let the man do the work. Take your time getting to know a potential dating partner. Best advice I have heard, is to wait a month or so before having sex, so you can really get to know him, and see if you like him. Remember the 40-year-old Virgin? Good message there. It's all a gamble, this dating after the NARC. But hopefully, you have become more wiser and alert to red flags. Run. Run. Run, if you spot them in a potential new guy. Don't be desperate. Buy a vibrator. Read self-help books. Go to therapy. Get on medication to numb the pain and increase serotonin levels (happiness sectors of the brain). Best wishes!