Behavior with other women???

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#1 February 13, 2012 - 7:52pm
wsh
wsh's picture

Behavior with other women???

Hi All:

I am new to this forum. Kicked the SOB out 5 months ago. He will NOT leave me alone & it's been stressful, to say the least.

I am writing this because I have not seen much on here about the Narc's behavior with other women. I have read 10+ books, been all over the I-net, and also have talked to a therapist.......NO DOUBT WHATSOEVER that my husband is full-blown narcissistic ASSHOLE! In FACT, I first discovered all this info. after typing into my browser "husband totally changed after the wedding" & UP POPPED all this stuff about narcissism!!

Anyhow, I'm wondering how many of you have also experienced the N's flirty/constant ogling/touchy-feely/seductive behavior with OTHER women? My husband has NO boundaries with other women (actually, no boundaries with ANYONE except ME ie: trying to control me).

This asshole RUINS every "outing", vacation, just going out to dinner for heaven's sake, because his entire focus is on checking out every other woman in the room! OTHER women can do whatever they want with him (hug/kiss/rub his thigh/rub his back/press their body up against him....)& it's just "fine". I get ABSOLUTELY ZERO affection, compliments, praise, etc.... but any OTHER woman around he's "MR. CHARMING" & "MR. TOUCHY-FEELY"! TV shows, movies, etc.... only watches stuff with l/2 naked, l00% naked, raunchy sex, you get the idea. I have no less than 8 times found porn on the computer & he just insists it's "not mine"...."don't know how it got there"....."it just keeps coming & I can't get rid of it"....& on, & on, & on.............. PLEASE!!!!!

I have even a couple of times been awakened by HIM INSIDE ME! Having sex with me while I am ASLEEP! And when I tried to tell him this is F'D UP, it was ME who "has a problem"????????????WTF????????????????

Comments, input, HELP......please!!

October 6, 2013 - 11:03am
cassylady2013
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Behavior with other women???

July 21, 2013 - 11:18am
ZanShin
ZanShin's picture

ExN definitely did this

July 21, 2013 - 7:08am
Steel Hibiscus
Steel Hibiscus's picture

Behavior with other women

July 13, 2012 - 8:38am
newbeginning
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constant flirt. but denied it

July 21, 2013 - 7:25am (Reply to #10)
Steel Hibiscus
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Constant flirt, but denied it

February 16, 2012 - 1:48pm
nlvr7
nlvr7's picture

Mine always played t part of

Mine always played t part of doting partner, was super into me ....affectionate in front of his boys. never looked @ another grl and would say shit like "how does it feel to be t most beautiful woman here" grrrrddddd#21#264@11
February 13, 2012 - 8:23pm
Movingforwardnow
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wsh

Whether or not he's a NARC he is a jerk. Here you will find help, advice, support and friends.
February 13, 2012 - 8:04pm
Fearless
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Wack Job!

Wow...he's a wack job. If I were you I would be sooooooo happy I was not with this fellow any longer. I hope you find someone (when you get ready) that gives you the respect, attention, and love you deserve and has enough dignity and respect within himself to not act like a weak asshole. I'm proud of you for kicking him out. What's he doing in regards to: "He will NOT leave me alone & it's been stressful, to say the least."? (If it's ok for me to ask.) Hi..btw...I'm fefe

FeFe

February 13, 2012 - 8:20pm (Reply to #2)
wsh
wsh's picture

Well.........keeps calling

Well.........keeps calling me, asking me for "favors", offering to "help me" with stuff (which I am taking care of by myself, thank you very f'g much) all kinds of crap but interestly enough he NEVER tries to discuss "issues". REFUSES to sign consent for the divorce (I did file) but yet has not said or done ONE THING to try to stop it or get me to drop divorce. Weird, huh? WILL raise "issues" that are important to HIM, but I won't discuss because............DUH!..........I'm sick of all that matters is what is important to HIM!! Anyhow, as I said, most of the time I ignore him.........and it gets hard because just hearing his voice on my answering machine makes me WANT to call him up & rip his ass! I am sure that I will be ok. Just wondering if anyone else has also had to deal with the "other women" behavior. One of the things he said to me A LOT when I'd dare to complain is "other women......(this/that/wtf ever)" & I would always tell him "so go get one of those women 'cause I won't put up with this shit!"
February 13, 2012 - 8:36pm (Reply to #3)
Fearless
Fearless's picture

a narc is a narc is a narc

well...he sounds like a narc because all of the things he is offering is purely for the benefit of himself. control freak...I'm definitely understanding wanting to rip his ass. been there and still have moments of assripping wishes. As for "other women" issues...my XNarc would flirt and ignore me as if I wasn't in the room at times. When I called him out on it and try to communicate reasonably he would ALWAYS turn it around on me. It's a tactic to try and break you down, lower your self-esteem, and cause doubt in yourself...make you feel crazy for bringing it up. That's my opinion...he simply sounds weak. Sorry for you frustrations hon.

FeFe

February 13, 2012 - 9:21pm (Reply to #4)
wsh
wsh's picture

Oh yeah.......I get that. I

Oh yeah.......I get that. I have used the word "invisible".....if any OTHER female around, I simply cease to exist! And of course, I AM "jealous/insecure/controlling/"imagining" things/too "touchy" or "too sensitive"/ yeah.....YOU are a f'g PIG & it's MY PROBLEM??? I THINK NOT! THANK GOD for some friends/family who have ALSO noticed his behavior! I have 4 granddaughters......the 11 year old actually mentioned to her mother how "uncomfortable" she felt at the way my husband was looking at her! THAT was one of the reasons I finally filed for divorce! Other reasons were his behavior with his SISTER & his DAUGHTER! I'm tellin'ya., I think his is a family that is LOADED WITH INCEST! My therapist.........when I described some of the behavior of his with his SISTER.....SHE is the one who used the word incest.........so..........maybe....just MAYBE.... I am NOT the SICK ONE HERE!!! How in the world can ANY man be more "affectionate" with his sister and even women he JUST MET than he is with HIS OWN WIFE???? Sorry, but I think that is just HUGELY F'D UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
June 18, 2014 - 9:40am (Reply to #6)
KSM
KSM's picture

like i was invisible

February 13, 2012 - 9:31pm (Reply to #5)
Fearless
Fearless's picture

You've got his number!

Well, at least you've got "his number" and his time is Up! Proud of you for the "kicking of the ass out of your house" and you are so definitely not sick or any of the things he accused you of. You are smart enough to figure that out and smart enough to end it with him. I'm most proud you saw potential danger with your 11 year old granddaughter....even 11 year old's have "women's intuition"...smart girl. Smart Grandmother. I was abused as a little girl...I had those same "uncomfortable" feelings about the ones who eventually molested me. Wish someone could have prevented this. Thank you for being smart. You most likely spared your granddaughter pain and unforgettable trauma. -fefe

FeFe