Food for Thought - The Male Perspective

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#1 Apr 30 - 9AM
Gso88
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Food for Thought - The Male Perspective

I owe a lot to this site and the members here, as such I feel compelled to share some of the experience that I've gained with anyone who may stumble upon this forum like I did.

As a guy here I found myself a bit overwhelmed, this site focuses mainly on the women's perspective and to be honest I've never really reached out for any assistance like this before. I felt weak, confused, distant... All wrapped together I felt like "less than a man." let's face it, guys are not as keen about sharing their emotions as our female counterparts. I know I'm not alOne in these feelings or beliefs. I'm going to attempt to break it down for guys to make the process and overcome any of these feelings "easier."

First off, read... A LOT. Know what you are talking about before really getting involved in any sort of process here. Having that confidence in your knowledge base can make it easier to discuss the topic at hand and make it less about you in turn making it easier to overcome any hesitant feelings you may have about sharing.

Second, "Suck it up" you are a guy, you are "tough" your pride may take a bruising discussing your "feelings" but in the long run you will feel better, be happier, and be a more confident and well rounded person.

Third, be honest. This is probably the easiest and the most difficult thing on this list. Nobody knows your name, where you are from, how old you are or what you look like. Be upfront and tell the whole truth and leave nothing out, that way others can understand and give you the best advice they possibly can with the information available. The hard part is that you also have to be honest with yourself. This may come as a complete shock to you but... you do have flaws. We can argue "good or bad" but chances are these flaws had nothing to do with why your relationship with a Marc ended but why it started in the first place, identify these things and improve upon them.

Fourth, do not shoulder the burden or blame. "You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake" there are people here just like you who know what you are going through. (Pardon my French but) you think your situation is fucked!? I'm willing to bet there's someone here who had to deal with the same or worse. I'm not belittling you or your situation, I'm not saying you aren't in pain or trying to diminish that in any way. No, what I'm saying as brutally as possible is YOU ARE NOT ALONE! If you took offense at what I said... GOOD. I got your attention and you were listening, and if you are anything as stubborn as me you needed that...

Fifth, take the anger and focus it. This has to do with the last in the sense that you at some point blamed yourself for the way things happened. We already said don't do that, but in that emptiness you will most likely find anger...Seething, limitless, unfocused rage. Anger is good, it is a fantastic motivator IF harnessed. Uncontroled anger is just as bad as wallowing in depression, I'm speaking from experience. Use that frustration and anger to push yourself to do new things, exercise and improve upon you.

Lastly, fight. Not literally please, I don't want anyone coming back saying "well Gso told me to beat people up." no instead fight for you. Set goals and relentlessly pursue them, not only will the pursuit distract you but that sense of achievement keeps you moving forward, setting harder and higher goals. Exercise, eat healthy, pick up a hobby, meditate, whatever. Fight for your happiness.

I hope this At the very least gets you thinking, agree or disagree it is simply food for thought.

Cheers,
-Gso

(Disclaimer: this was drafted on my phone. Please disregard any spelling, grammar, or other mistakes.)

May 22 - 8AM
paul88nth
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Thanks Geo

Apr 30 - 3PM
Costa
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Soul food

Apr 30 - 11AM
lilygirl
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GSO

Apr 30 - 11AM
Sparrow
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Harness your

Apr 30 - 10AM
Janie53
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GSO

Apr 30 - 10AM
Wallace
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Gso

Apr 30 - 10AM
Hunter
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GSO .. This is great advice