Well I have seen it all come full circle

Many of you wont know who I am. I am an old timer around here. I first arrived in August of 2010 in gut wrenching pain. I wont bore you with whole story its the same as everyone elses but heres a little background. I am married and reconnected with x narc 15 years later. I had a very tulmutous 5 to 6 years with him in my 20s which ended in a huge amount of emotional damage to me. This took place in the early 90s. I was young and didnt have access to information like we all do today.

Fast Forward. He resurfaces thru facebook begins to travel to see me a few times. He lives across state from me. He wants me to get a divorce blah blah you know the story and then the d and d. It was slow and painful with months at a time of silent treatment only to result in the final horrific d and d of Im getting married. I spent the last 18 months in horrific pain all the while trying to keep it together for my family. I suffered all kinds of health issue and throw in that Im going thru menopause (almost 45) and you guessed it I have been a complete wreck.

One day out of the blue I prodded him via text I sent a picture. It was a good pic if I do say so myself. I alluded to being single. OMG he responded withing seconds that he had broken up with fiance blah blah blah. He loves me ba blah blah. Mind you the fiance contacted me months prior and said some hurrendous things to me. Like you dont know him as well as you think you do. REALLY? I HAVE KNOWN HIM 25 years and spent nearly 6 YEARS in a very tumultous relationship and you come along in the last 2 years and you KNOW him????? PLEASE WOMAN! Anyway he is 45 and never married. Did she really think this man had been waiting his entire life for her and her 3 kids from another man???RED FLAG RED FLAG!

Anyway to make a long story short he resurfaced about a month ago full of I LOVE YOUs and Ill do whatever it takes. Well I guess he is if you consider silent treatment on and off and his repsonse to everything being I love you. I mean really... What did you have for dinner? I love you. Whats the weather like? I love you. No kidding everything is I love you. He is a total FREAK seriously a total FREAK. Its like watching a science project. I can really see the pathology now.

Final thoughts on Did he love me? Well my conclusion is... Yes probably to the extent he could. I dont think they have the same level of attachment to everyone. Some better supply than others. I have some conclusive evidence of situations in which he was not in control and it seeped out but its on a subsconscious level and comes out in situations where he didnt have complete control. And what does that mean when they dont have complete CONTROL? It means vulnerability. And what does that mean for me? A horrific D an D will be on the way. He hated me for creating any hint of that in him and I was going down for it. He recently told me over and over about his selfishness. He knows what he is. I think he wanted me to know too. He has often told me no matter what happens I love you. I will love you the rest of my life even if we dont talk. Why did he say that? cause he knew what was gonna happen. His illness runs him and he knows it. Hell of a way to live but it wont be my story. My story with him has ended now after 25 years.

YOU CANNOT CHANGE THESE PEOPLE! I JUST WATCHED MY REPLACEMENT COME AND GO. Funny thing is they always warn you. He warned the replacement. He had told her that in the end he would always end up coming back to me and there he was I LOVE YOU gettinbetter. 25 years later then 2 years later same story different day. So now he is on to a new stranger that he can dazzle and the cycle continues...

GET OUT!!!