Goodbye J

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#1 Dec 3 - 4AM
Belle de jour
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Goodbye J

Dear J,

There is really not much to say here except for “goodbye and hope I’ll never see your face again”. Should I have the misfortune to bump into you, know that I’ll look at you with utter disgust while the question of ‘whatever was I thinking’ will be in my mind.

You were actually neither decent, nor ‘special’. Well, this isn’t entirely true, you were special in so many sick ways. You could pretend you were somebody other than your true self so successfully that you managed to fool me and fool everyone who met you. You know what you are, no need to tell you that again. But I still feel I should congratulate you for making me spin for so long thinking I destroyed the relationship (even the term relationship is so overrated for what we had). This takes a real talent. I suppose what happened before we broke up was so convenient for you, right? You can add me to your list of those women who didn’t deserve you and treated you poorly, so that you can say to yourself that nothing was ever your fault.

As for me, I’ll make the best out of this experience. I know now how I made it easier for you to unfold your amoral and sick behavior patterns. I got into this situation as a naïve and clueless girl, I’ll get out of it a stronger, wiser and more confident woman. It might take a long time before I get to this place but I owe it to myself. What’s more important than that?

For this and only this, I thank you.

Goodbye