3rd time being broken up with the narc...its been one week.

now i feel like my days are getting worse and i feel more crazy and obsessed with him as days goes on..I do seek therapy. i feel so brainwashed but i feel like he isnt missing me at all but dosent it hurt? he tried to ask my friend for his game back and he would pay her 5.00 gas money but i sold it and once she told him i sold it, he said "well at least it went to a good cause lol, check the console anyway" he seems to be just fine while im sitting here destroyed. I keep thinking it was me, i could of changed, i could of stopped nagging or complaining about him not meeting my needs, i could of just done what he wanted and joined a gym because hes a big gym buff. his current profile is him shirtless. when someone commented on the picture and asked, "where are your clothes, dont you own shirts?" he replied "see the black specs in the background, thats the remains of a hollister sweater i was wearing, remind me not to flex on arm day" i feel the urge to contact the narc even though weve been through this three times before. but i feel like my days are getting more horrible, not better..