Struggling with NC

I am reading and re-reading the 6 steps book and love it. I am glued to it. I am at the beginning stage, as my experience is very recent. (one week ago)

I am practicing self-kindness and reaching out to family, friends and this forum. My N is still contacting me and I have stopped responding. I need to block completely but for some reason I am holding back. It is really a strange feeling. I know that I need to just cut off the source completely. I am also at the stage of processing where I realize I was not special - I could have been anyone. Because I am HSP and empathic, for some reason want to keep the door open a tiny crack.

This is not constructive behaviour. Need some advice here. Thanks!