Surviving the relentless pursuit of the female narc

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#1 February 4, 2018 - 10:21pm
hunter1278
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Surviving the relentless pursuit of the female narc

Hey all,
Im in a bit of unique situation. I have been happily married to the woman of my dreams for 8 years. We have a 6 month old son together. When we first met, we were in our early 20's, we supported each other as both of our careers were barely starting. today we are both well established and firmly planted, thanks to each other...we have a home and its the ideal situation.
I've been faithful in this relationship with my wife since I was 21 years old..
she was out of town for work one night and I went to a strip club to blow off some steam. work was stressful at the time.
i met a girl who i was wildly attracted to. she was very friendly, we exchanged contact info right away. i learned the girl is from the same foreign town and country that my wife is from. she told me before i told her about my wife. she is 3 years younger than my wife. their birthdays are 4 days apart. they look similar, both modeled, and could pass as super hot sisters....
i met the girl a few times outside of the club, told her i was married, she said she dated married guys before. for me it was an ego rush to date a hot stripper. i wanted to have sex with her but she would never agree. her behavior was very hot and cold, i asked her what was up. she shared with me that she had narcissistic personality disorder. after looking it up and reading more about it, i learned that i have multiple family members who are Narcs... my grandmother is the queen narc, my father, mother, some siblings, aunt, cousins... pretty crazy.
i never got along well with my parents my entire life- they always stressed, controlled, and pressured me.. reading about NPD gave me the strength to stand up for myself and not tolerate the abuse. it has been liberating. my family now respects me more and doesn't play as many games. most importantly though, it explained the behavior of my father.. who i work with as my boss. it explains a lot of his behavior. through learning this i got a therapist in there and he has helped keep my father in check from attention-seeking behavior... i was left with a dying company that I have resurrected. I'm starting to get a lot of notoriety from key people in my industry as an influencer. not sure how my dad feels about me getting all of this attention. but its what i need to do to keep our business alive. he has another business that he is more interested in.
the girl is smart, stopped stripping and went back to school. earning all A's and Presidents list. she told me she wants to get married and have kids. she wants more from me. when I heard this I ended things. i let it go.
she hoovered and kept coming back around... offered to be intimate with no string attached, if i gave her some financial support, i said no, i told her to get a job first. i didn't want her to think of me as a potential sponsor. A few months later she came back again with the same proposition. I couldn't hold out. We were intimate 1 night and it was great. i wanted to make her climax and i did. super ego boost for me. i told her i want to do it again, she said she wants more attention from me and time/money. she's playing super hard to get, not wanting to talk at all about our night together. telling me she doesn't think about me at all. i know its not true. i told her not possible. her bday is coming up and she told me she wants an expensive gift from me. i wasn't feeling this so i started to back away. keeping in touch once a week just to be friendly. nothing serious. she replies back one day that she is going to miami for 3 weeks with her boyfriend, then when she comes back she is probably moving to san francisco to a guy who wants to marry her right away... ploy to get me jealous? i didn't give any reaction... told her to enjoy the sunshine...
in the meanwhile, we have both gone no-contact from each other... me bc i tried giving her lots of attention previously but she never gave me what i wanted, it only got me hooked on her.
her bc she is punishing me for not giving her what she wants. i know she can get lots of men at the snap of her fingers. i am ok with that, as long as i can have her sometimes.
i have blocked her on all social media for awhile now, i told her bc its too hard for me to see her all the time and not have her physically. she said ok. but honestly it was because she made up a fake boyfriend to try and make my jealous. and she posted relentlessly about it. even posted pics w a guy after she had never posted a pic w a guy. as soon as i blocked her, she reached out and asked why, when i told her why, she said "its over we broke up"... i kept the blocks up anyway...
i can accept her inconsistent behavior of coming and going as long as I get what I want once in awhile. she sends me sexy photos and videos of her dancing around bc she knows how attracted i am physically to her. she is sort of like my kryptonite. I've never felt such strong attraction to anyone other than my wife. i lose control when i am with her. i have a hard time saying no to her, but i do hold my ground. we fight, and I'm sure i am a challenge to her.. she is a real looker, she can get whatever she wants I'm sure...
i know i can never trust this girl with my life. she is a liability. i put her in touch with several people who could get her a well paying job, she never responded to emails from each of them...
ironically, 2 weeks after i told her my wife was pregnant with my son, she caught a hard DUI... got her license suspended and has a BAC monitor on her ankle. she can't have a single drink.
i deleted her # from my phone so i can't reach out and get abused from her, silent treatment, or whatever.. I'm feeling withdrawal but remaining no contact... it hurts.
any thoughts?