Apology to you all and confession to make

First of all wanted to say to you thanks for everyone's comments and posts for my original posting !
But I have a confession to make and I'm not proud but I wanted to share with you what I've done but also wanted to promise to you all and put in writing my commitment to succeed and move forward !
First of all I fell off the wagon and logged off Facebook then went back on it and seen him with other woman and fell into despair again and never got out my bed ! I've logged back off again! Then yesterday this is my confession I sent him all his stuff back got a courier to take it to him I also put In his birthday present that was sitting here unopen and a Xmas present with a card and a note with hindsight it was a stupid thing to do and I feel worse but I wanted to put myself to you all and tell you what I've done and I promise to book my one to one with goldie in jan when I can afford it and will also commit to doing the work in a way part of me feels better getting rid of his stuff and parcels as I don't need to look at and also affirms what a low life scum bag he is as he's kept it all and the gifts and not even a thank you nothing who keeps expensive gifts and doesn't say anything meanwhile (before I came off Facebook ) he's saying how he likes this time of year and he's grateful for his friends and family yet he can't even say a thanks ! Again a bit confused if I'm honest thought narcs liked attention and people doing things so again to keep blanking me after I did this says more about him than me still hurts that he can't even be bothered to say thanks