I really really want to call him...

New Year's Eve was our holiday. No family just us. We dressed up and enjoyed one another lovingly no matter what. For the past few days every time i'm not distracted with real life I want to call him.
You all on this site and most recently Goldie in response to New Laurie re Narc's styles have been my life line. I keep reading what you said to her Goldie. I remember the advice I've gotten through the year such as: think of the cruelties and abuse. One of the most cruel things he did just before discarding me was when I told him in frustration that he needed to be careful; he could lose me...he shrugged. You know that kind of shrug that says so what. I was devastated. Setting me up to get angry so he could say it was because of me that he was leaving me etc etc. I also think what would I get from hearing his voice again? He won't have New Year's with me this year and frankly he's been with someone else so it wouldn't be the same and I wouldn't want to have dinner with him. Hearing his voice again however would make me want to hear it again. It would open the wound that I've been closing for 11 months of NC. I miss our New Year's Eve and I'm jealous , jealous and jealous of his new woman because he'll have the same celebration only with her. How do I know: He's like a battery pack and we're the batteries; one wears out you replace it and do the same thing only with a different battery. That's what he did with me after the one before me.
So I'm writing you instead of calling him. I'm using all the techniques to stay sane that you've taught me through the year. I'm staying NC because of all of your advice. But it's really really difficult.
I so appreciate all the help all of you have extended to me!