Reactivation of old obsessions after years

greetings
I've scheduled a one-on-one with Goldie so this is for support in the interim.

I developed a severe case of obsessive love with a man I admired in the local film industry, about 10 years ago. I've been both a student, and out of the loop of professional work since then. After a few years of knowing about my unrequited love, (whilst maintaining a friendship conducted mainly over Facebook), he propositioned me for sex at a dark moment in his life, and I accepted. It was an epic fail and he immediately went off with other women instead. To this day he is still single and looking - he's about 50 now. When I couldn't handle the rejection of this one night stand, and confronted him with my anguish, he cut me off as if I'd never known him. The searing pain of this experience brought me here, where I recognised many narcissistic elements in his behaviour.

It's been about 3 years since then, and I've almost completed a degree in Screen Studies, with hopes of working in camera department. He also works in camera department, and in associated areas. He's working as a cinematographer for a low budget film right now, which looks to have a big audience overseas. I'm pretty jealous of him and his camera assistants right now, as that's where I want to be, and I can't do it. I even turned up as an extra on the film, deluding myself that I was there to observe his lighting plan only, and that I would avoid him. But the obvious affection and rapport he has with his first AC (who he is also making a documentary with) is eating away at me. Although I didn't speak to him in person, I was stupid enough to text him congratulations, where his responses were civil but curt. If he is an N, he's one with absolutely no interest in hoovering or manipulating me at all. He is DONE.

I'm comparing myself to his first AC, who is just like a much cooler version of me. She's a photographer with an art background, connected to underground indie music, thin and exotic looking. She's awesome at her job, everyone likes her, and her documentary looks really interesting. I even donated some money to it (so pathetic). Meanwhile I am struggling with excess weight, self loathing, isolation, and my photography is mediocre. I can't get the thoughts of him and her out of my mind. I feel like a stalker every time I go to any industry event, in case he is there. Even if I know he will be there, I force myself to go, to not be defeated by his presence. But it throws me off for days before and after, causing me to lose sleep and my appetite, and to endlessly doubt myself and all my dreams. I feel like a fantasist and desperado, with no future whatsoever, who everyone can see straight through. I am not sure what to do from here - quit this dream, work interstate where I will never see him again, or just press on through with all these hideous feelings of panic and self loathing.