update

Hi there

I've been here before, couple of times actually, found much support and love which helped me get over two disasterous narc relationships. I did the work and moved on.

In May last year, a chap I had known for a couple of years asked me out on a date... wow... hadn't had an offer like that in a while so off I went.

It was going swimmingly up to the 6 month mark, very caring, giving and thoughtful and I really thought I had changed my patterns. Then there was an incident, something very trivial, did I want more noodles? My response of no, kicked off a major sulk and anger attack which escalated into 12 hours of not being spoken to... I see this as the moment that this new man showed me who he was. I sent him away and we didn't speak for a few days. He was completely unrepentant when I did see him again... no compromise and no sorry. This is where I made my mistake, I saw who he was but didn't want to see. so dived back in again.

Fast forward 2 months and there have been many incidents, almost getting to one every day up to the point when I finished it. I have seen who he is and I have now taken action.

I don't know if this guy is a narc.. I do know he has anger issues and I do know that he is not what I want in my life. Its taken me a couple of months but I've seen it and now I've got out.

I'm sad for myself cos I thought I had done the work and got myself together fully, but it seems there is more to do. I have learnt a lot through this experience, unlike the previous narcs, I didn't take it for very long, I could see it and I could understand what was going on. I didn't revel in the drama, telling everyone every detail of all the conversations/rows, I was matter of fact and dealt with it as I know I don't deserve that.

The thing I need to work on is recognising these types of people earlier, not being afraid to walk away as soon as you see, and believing that I deserve a loving and caring relationship. I give too much too soon and I need to value what I am more.

But the biggest thing I have learnt is that I have the power and I can make the best choices for me.

I have come so far and I don't intend to settle for any more shit of any more men!

Love and best wishes
Toots