always guessing

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#1 Sep 9 - 9PM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

always guessing

I wonder if other people have had this experience? My n would call me from work to ask me out to dinner at 7:00. Then he would show up at 9:30 or so, didn't bother to call or anything. He would then pick a fight with me for being mad that I had sat waiting for a couple of hours. How inconsiderate! Also, when he would go out of town to work, he would tell me he would be back on say Friday and not show up till Saturday, or not tell me he was coming back at all, just show and wonder why there was no dinner for him. Guess he thought he would catch me up to something. But, if I went anywhere, my phone would ring until I answered it. I couldn't even go to Walmart without him wanting to know when I would be back.

Sep 9 - 10PM
Beachcolors
Beachcolors's picture

My first N game

I didn't know it at the time but this is the very first game my N played with me. What I wouldn't give to have walked that very day. He called in the morning and asked me out for lunch. I said yes and we agreed to meet at this certain mexican place. I showed up on time and he wasn't there so I sat at the bar and ordered a margarita (we were off work that day). I wait for 30 minutes...call my cell phone (that i left at home by accident)to check messages and nothing. So I go home. When I get home he has called my cell about 15 times so I call him back and ask what's up. He wants to know where I was and why I didn't take my phone. I said I was where we agreed to meet waiting for you. He said well on the way there I decided I would rather go to this new mexican place I haven't tried yet so I went there. I called and called you but no answer so I thought you stood me up. HOW CAN I STAND YOU UP IF I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? The place he went to was only 4 miles from the original place. He had to drive past me just to get there and didn't even bother stopping to see if I was waiting. When I asked why he didn't check to see if I was waiting he said "well i thought about it i just didn't do it". And the kicker to this is that while I was waiting a man having lunch at the bar overheard my message checking. He paid for my drink and said "don't waste your time waiting on this guy, he is a jerk for doing this to you. Then he asked me if he could order us lunch to go and walk across the street and have a picnic in the park. I said No. I wanted to have lunch with this man just for spite but passed it up. I should have followed my heart even though it wanted revenge. Imagine how differnt that phone conversation with N would have been.
Sep 9 - 9PM
a new creation
a new creation's picture

The guessing game will never end

My N left me sitting at a restaurant without calling me to let me know he would be late. When he finally arrived and saw that I was upset he got upset with me and told me he didn't think it was going to be such a big deal that he hadn't called me. INCONSIDERATE is what I call it. He also lied about why he was late. He told me that my attitude ruined the entire evening. His exact words were "this really sucks". Doesn't this sound like a 6 year old? Don't play the guessing game with him any more. The game will never end.
Sep 9 - 9PM
cupcake (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

N standing you up

Hello similar to me! He would often call or text (and he would do it, not me) and say "what are you doing tonight?" as soon as I said "nothing I am free" he would back away! Either say "ok I have some work to do but mayber later" and I would never hear from him for a couple of weeks. Or he would make plans with me and not bother to show up. At all. No normal human being would do this which is why it puzzles us. A N does, this is nothing to him! Any normal human with a decent heart and feelings would text to say he couldn't come at least which still would not be ok after making plans but it would be better than just not showing up. He would cancel a lot too. Like he got cold feet or maybe just making plans with me was enough supply he didn't want to go through with it. I also got the impression he wanted to see if I was doing anything fun. Once he knew I was free - that was it - discard.
Sep 9 - 9PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

classic - rules for you, but none for him

classic - rules for you but none for him. these may be enlightening: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2006/01/gaslighting-from-games-abusers-play-at.html http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2007/01/when-your-perfect-partner-goes.html ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Narc Victims - Updated Daily "As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. Beck