Dating again

It has been 4 years and 3 full years of no contact. There hasn't been any sign of my Ex at all. I have tried dating during that time and feel ready to open my life to someone again now. I haven't made it past 8 dates with anyone. I feel like I don't want to waste my time with the wrong person. My family thinks I have too high of standards. I tell people that I settled once and ended up 10 years married to my Ex. I feel like I should wait for the right person to come along before jumping into anything. It is getting kind of lonely being on my own. I have my daughter who is 12 (signed full sole custody and no sign of dad in 3.5 years) and she is fine with me dating. I read posts of women who found wonderful men and know they are out there. I am open to meeting someone but I always find something that isn't right about them and walk away. Am I being too unrealistic? Are they right and this is just a defense mechanism to not let anyone get too close?