How do i move past the hell I left?

lived and loved (and still love?) a man who abused me mentally and physically for 8.5 years. He cheated on me (denied it, of course) and i looked past it all "because i love him". I finally got the strength to ask him to leave in October 2014. Over the past 2.5 years, i have been in one relationship (great guy - but suffers from horrible depression and I finally realized that I cannot "cure him" so i ended that relationship - go me!) but even in the "best moments" of that relationship, i continually thought of my narcissist. I have convinced myself that he is my soulmate because i cannot forget him. i miss him (tho i am pretty sure i miss the "him" i made up in my head)
this is TOO LONG of a story to type here, but suffice it to say I have seen him on a few occasions over the past year - i thought we were getting back together last March, but on our 3rd "visit" he informed me of his GIRLFRIEND that was moving with him from Wisconsin! I was crushed, of course...months past and i had no contact with him. Then, in December i called him to help with a situation in my home (I had no one else to call?)...he was there within 30 minutes - fixed the fridge, kissed me and said how much he loved and missed me and left. He is still in the relationship with her, yet began calling me, telling me he misses me and wants her OUT, but because he's a "nice guy" he can't throw her out, and I need to just be patient....(my god. typing this makes me sound like an idiot! yet, i can't explain how messed up my head and heart are!) I actually BELIEVED him. I found out this past week that he has NO intention of leaving her - in fact they are going on a cruise! ?
Ok, really none of that really matters...what matters is that I cannot seem to get past/over a guy who was HORRIBLE to me, but yet I find myself still in love with him? I AM in therapy (have been for 4 years because of him!) and i KNOW he is bad for me and he is a liar and everything bad...but my heart will not let go. HOW do i move past this guy? I couldn't even put him behind me when i had an honest, nice guy? I would appreciate any advice/tips from someone else who has been in my shoes.

(I am reposting this to this forum-i am new at this and not sure i am doing it right?)