No Closure: Has anyone else experienced this?

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#1 Jul 27 - 10PM
Anonymous (not verified)
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No Closure: Has anyone else experienced this?

One of the biggest hurdles of getting over my "N" is dealing with the fact that he has never said "good bye", not ever after the D&D's and when I have tried to, he would not accept it.

There was never the closure I would expect in a normal relationship.

This last time he devalued me and discarded me after I confronted him with some painful truths. I refused to play his pretend game anymore and told him I WOULD NOT. I also told him exactly what he his. We did not argue, he just sat there like everything was just fine. Didn't say one thing after I told him what I knew, and what I could not do anymore.

After that day, there was complete silence. I have not contacted him, nor has he contacted me. After seven years, it seems to be all over, without any explanations or acknowledgment of this on his part.

Almost like he is telling me to walk away from him, it is OK, it all meant nothing to him.

I have been here in this place before with him. I am so afraid he is going to try and worm his way into my life again--to try and feed from and rekindle his supply source.

Nov 13 - 9AM
shock and awe.some
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We create the closure we want

Nov 13 - 10AM (Reply to #18)
Janie53
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Shock and Awesome

Nov 11 - 11AM
Janie53
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Lack of closure with a narc

Nov 11 - 4AM
onwithmylife
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Debra

Nov 11 - 12AM
AmiHurt
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I can relate...

Nov 10 - 2PM
STLLady
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Here is another question...

Nov 15 - 11AM (Reply to #13)
newbegginings
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So true

Nov 10 - 6AM
Goldie
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There is no closure with a Narcissist; No loyalty factor

Nov 11 - 12AM (Reply to #11)
STLLady
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Amen

Jul 28 - 1AM
Marie
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Closure never to be found

Before I broke up with my N I knew there would never be closure. For the longest time even after I exposed all his lies to me, he still pretended as if everything was fine between us. He tried to keep the whole charade going. I don't know what was more hurtful finding he was pursuing other women, treating me like crap or the lying to my face. Closure would have to mean they admit to any wrong doing since the relationships are ending because of them. They will never admit to that. They also want to be the dumper and not the dumpee because they are not the one with the problem you are or so they think in their twisted mind. With mine he didn't want to say goodbye either. He tried to leave it that we needed a break and weren't in good places in our lives to be able to make decisions. No, when I was saying goodbye it was clear to me that I was tired of him chasing every skirt that passed by. That I got sick of being taken for granted only to find he was off courting some other lady and when he found she wasn't interested would come slithering back. So definitely not looking to get back together ever again. As much as they may want to dump you, they want to keep that door open in case they get rejected elsewhere. I'm sure there are other points but it's late and has been a hectic day. Some days I just can't wrap my mind around this stuff. I have had a hard time too wondering whether in the few years I was with him I ever meant anything at all to him. When I face the reality of it I am always brought to tears because the truth is I was just someone to hang out with. When he grew bored he found someone else to hang out with and he'll repeat this pattern until he comes up against psycho bitch. But they try to weasel back in again, when that happens you have to stay strong. Take your heart and lock it up tight or they will stomp all over it again.
Jul 27 - 11PM
cupcake (not verified)
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Why no closure?

I cna't get closure either as much as I have tried. Do they not respond because they cannot be bothered? I udnerstand I am rendered useless as a source of supply now he knows I know he has a girlfriend so he has just shut me off. Why do they do this? Are they so weak they just run and hide? They can't face us?
Nov 10 - 8AM (Reply to #5)
Deidre99
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I see it as they never cared

Nov 10 - 8AM (Reply to #6)
Froglegs
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Correct.

Nov 10 - 9AM (Reply to #7)
Deidre99
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and sometimes i wonder if

Nov 10 - 2PM (Reply to #8)
STLLady
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Their inability to love

Nov 10 - 6AM (Reply to #4)
Froglegs
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"Are they so weak they just

Jul 27 - 11PM
admin
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Debra

I'm sorry to agree, but there is no closure with a narcissist. They won't allow it. Stay strong and don't let him worm his way back into your life. You deserve so much more. He will never change.
Nov 11 - 2PM (Reply to #2)
chele007
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In my experience closure