PTSD-avoiding the triggers

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#1 Jul 31 - 12PM

Anonymous (not verified)

PTSD-avoiding the triggers

To all who wish to overcome:

I recently heard a story of a 75 year old Veteran who had told his family he served as a "cook" in WWII. He took his grandchildren to see Saving Private Ryan and had to be carried from the theater and hospitalized. He said it triggered even the smell of combat.

He had lived a very healthy, productive life and coped with his war experience by never discussing it WITH HIS FAMILY; he could not relive the horror with them.

I believe that is the only way to get past anything painful.He left those memories with the other dead bodies and moved on to a new life.

I encourage all of you to avoid the triggers to this pain as you heal. Remove anything..even friends who insist on discussing it ... that will bring back pain ; take captive your thoughts andyour life and move on.

Then revisit much later from safety. This and my faith, has been the only way I could get past this PEACEFULLY and PRODUCTIVELY.

Otherwise, life in the battlefield of your past will be much like war...your remain traumatized and the wounds never heal.

If you do not engage with the enemy( the illness) physically ..the war is over. All you will be fighting are the memories and what you choose to think on.

Take captive your thoughts and think on what you gifts you have and how much you can give others...Be Blessd and Be a Blessing....Be thankful you are not with this illness..

#2 Aug 1 - 12AM

devoured_soul (not verified)

so...what if you avoid the

so...what if you avoid the triggers and have bad dreams? I relive the pain he caused in dreams. I'll have a dream similar to one of the real life episodes and all the feelings associated with it are the same in the dream and when I awaken, it carries througout part of my day. Last night was the worst with 3 dreams. I woke up at 430 and could not get back to sleep. I had to blow off the gym cuz i needed more sleep before work. It sucks.

#3 Aug 1 - 1AM (Reply to #12)

Barbara (not verified)

dreams

there is really no way to totally avoid the triggers. What helped me was 3 things... and it did take me years but I made it through: - Therapy (sometimes 2x a week) - Medication (as needed... I am still on a maintainance dose) - This:

#4 Aug 1 - 12AM (Reply to #11)

April (not verified)

sleep disruptions

That has been the hardest thing for me to repair. I guess when we are still processing things on an unconscious level, there will be dreams. I still have them. My sleep has been disrupted for a long time. When I have dreams now and i wake up, I have a little prayer ritual. It seems really real to me too. I have had a hard time. I have also get up and journal and do whatever it takes to soothe myself. I kinda picture myself at that time like a wounded child that has just had a bad dream. They need to be soothed and told it is okay and that they are safe. I do my best to do that for myself. You can't stop yourself from dreaming about him but you can offer yourself a little support. He can't "get you anymore". I really understand becuase I walked around sleep deprived for many months, sometimes still am. I realize my poor psyche is trying to let off some steam and process everything. I have dreamed about every nuance of our relationship, the good and bad and then added some new things just for fun. It is really maddening, but I have learned to get up if I need to and do whatever it takes to shake it off. If it gets too bad, which it has for me, ask a friend if they would be available for those late night emergencies. I called a friend once really late and am not sure she really remembers, but it somewhat helped to have another person on the other end. If not, journal like crazy and fix some hot tea or whatever you like, wrap up in a blanket, and wait for th storm to pass... it always does.

#5 Jul 31 - 7PM

Barbara (not verified)

more on PTSD

Yes! That's a symptom. some links on ptsd for you: http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/03/18/married-n-and-waiting-good-times-return#comment-1382 http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/03/23/women-separated-abusive-partners-experience-long-term-chronic-pain http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/04/16/cracked-vessel http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/03/28/should-i-react-way http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/05/06/60-million-persons-u-s-negatively-affected-someone-elses-pathology ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Articles & information for abuse victims - Updated Daily Online Coaching for Victims of Narcissists/ Psychopaths

#6 Jul 31 - 7PM

Debra (not verified)

PTSD Symptom?

Sometimes when I read something that makes me re-live a bad memory of him or have a thought regarding something bad that he did I break into a sweat that feels like a hot flash. At first I thought it was my hormones, but it happens more often when I read some of these stories and relate them to my own bad experiences. I've been noticing it more frequently when I am on this site reading. Is it a symptom of PTSD?

#7 Jul 31 - 5PM

Barbara (not verified)

pleased? yes...

I am pleased only that you have recognized what is going on with you is serious. So many women think they can tough it out or are 'embarrassed' to seek help. If you have a copy of WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS and/ or Lisa's book you should take them to this therapist with you. You may be educating someone to help many more women! You are reclaiming your life and TAKING CARE OF YOU! You should be proud of yourself for taking that step ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Articles & information for abuse victims - Updated Daily Online Coaching for Victims of Narcissists/ Psychopaths

#8 Jul 31 - 2PM

Barbara (not verified)

ptsd

I have permanent PTSD from all the Ns and 2Ps I've had in my life. What's odd is I have triggers and sometimes I have no clue what triggered me... I just get the symptoms (shaking, anxiety attack) an hour later or even a day later. Just remember ladies, CONTINUING contact will put you in a place where I am. Where it's permanent. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Articles & information for abuse victims - Updated Daily Online Coaching for Victims of Narcissists/ Psychopaths

#9 Jul 31 - 12PM

faithful (not verified)

words of encouragement to all who have been with this illness

I am done for today but felt compelled to encourage.Please focus on your gifts, strengths, talents and not on what was taken from you. This illness wishes you to believe that you were robbed. No one or thing can take your special and unique abilities. Whether it is the gift of music, creativity, speech, organization, understanding, energy, ....know that these gifts made you highly attractive to another and this person was unhealthy. Be thankful that you are not unhealthy and know that your special talents cannot be taken from you. Identify your gifts, be thankful for them, use them and now LIVE to your potential

#10 Jul 31 - 1PM (Reply to #2)

Marie

Thank you

Faithful, thank you for taking the time to post your encouraging words. Eventually this will pass like a previous bad relationship I had. That one led me to flee to England for a summer and broke many friendships. It was hard for awhile as I found myself alone, I had too many mutual friends with that one. I didn't want to hear how sad or hurt he was. He was verbally and physically abusive to me but they took his side. So one by one I eliminated them from my life. I rebuilt my life and made new friends. At least with this N I don't have many mutual friends or none that are in his camp anyway. I no longer discuss any problems that come up with him because none of my friends can relate. It was a great fortune that I found this site with people who do. At least I don't feel so alone or crazy. Seeing encouraging posts from people like yourself lets me know that one day I will be free and whole again. Be well!

#11 Jul 31 - 2PM (Reply to #3)

Scoop

I have made my first

I have made my first appointment for therapy today . I go Monday . My dear Dad has offered to pay . She sounded great on the phone and she lives in a village in a cottage with holly hocks in the garden , how chilled is that . I realised that having panic attacks and obsessional thoughts are really getting me down . There was no point going to the doctors as we dont have therapy on the NHS , well we do but there would not be a cat in hells chance of seeing one for about a year if im lucky such is the underfunding .I admit it was hard telling my Dad that i needed help , i felt like i had let him down but i need this .In a way it feels like my ns has won , sitting and paying money to talk about him would make him puff up with glee . The wanker ! Peru x

#12 Jul 31 - 2PM (Reply to #4)

Barbara (not verified)

perutoo

I have a number of friends on the NHS so I know it sucks but GOOD FOR YOU FOR GOING!! Your exN has NOT WON!! Winning would involve you obsessing, being despondent and allowing your spirit to be crushed by him. Talking about what he is & ripping his mask off more? I doubt he'd like that. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Articles & information for abuse victims - Updated Daily Online Coaching for Victims of Narcissists/ Psychopaths

#13 Jul 31 - 2PM (Reply to #5)

Scoop

Thanks i thought you would

Thanks i thought you would be pleased . Just picking up the phone to her made me feel like im doing something about it , it produced a feeling that there was a bit of light at the end of the tunnel . I also have a new name for ns its Weasel I shall put it in a sentance for you lol " he is a WEASEL of a man " Big hugs Peru x

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