Should I warn the OW?

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#1 Feb 13 - 11PM
AvesMama
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Should I warn the OW?

Hi all, this is my first post, I have not shared my story yet but will when I have more time. After 6 long years and so many messed up things that happened, it's going to be quite long. For now I will keep it short because I am feeling a great need to tell the other woman what I have learned in the last few months. She and I know each other well, she has an 8 year old son with our narc and I have a 2 year old. We even considered ourselves friends for a while. Long story short, he played us against each other and we became very jealous, bitter and hateful. I was the one he worshiped on a pedestal and it drove her crazy. I ended the relationship with our narc 8 months ago and he immediately moved in with her. About once per month she and I arrange for her to pick up my son and take him to their house for an overnight visit so the children can spend time together. I also really like this arrangement because it allows my son to see his deadbeat narc dad while I can remain NC with him. Please let me know if this is unhealthy.

My question is, should I reach out and show her some of this great literature that has helped me finally see narc for who/what he is? I know she has been dealing with him for much longer than I have but I don't believe she knows anything like what this board has taught me about being in a relationship with a narc. As far as all the animosity I held for her, I can't even really feel it anymore because I realize it was all fabricated by him in some way. At first it bothered me thinking that they are all a happy family at her house but I know better and he's not treating her any better than he ever did or ever treated me either. I just keep feeling compelled to help her, she is just as much a victim as me. I'm also worried that if I do reach out it will cause drama. If she dismisses it, she will probably tell our narc. Is it worth it to help someone else I know is suffering in the same prison I have been in? I am eager to hear your advice, thank you in advance!

Feb 15 - 1PM
AvesMama
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Thanks guys, now I can put

Feb 14 - 4PM
truthnow
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No

Truthnow

Feb 14 - 4PM
Goldie
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Welcome to the forum