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What if I run into him?

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#1 Aug 26 - 12AM
Anonymous (not verified)
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What if I run into him?

What if I'm out and i see him? How will I respond? I play the scenario in my mind and I see myself losing control, weakening in the knees, tears welling up, panic and adrenaline taking over my body and mind and once again, my soul.

Do I have to constantly be ON GUARD? Everywhere I go? Even then, ON GUARD as one can be, how will I react? And what if I see him with another woman?

This is my biggest struggle. N free and NC since June and this is what I think about....a chance encounter and my reaction.

And the dreams....OMG, the dreams!!! Over and over. Reliving the pain in my sleep...God, will it ever end? Does it? NO ONE gets it except for the people on this forum. But my day to day people dont get it. I can't convey it to them. No one gets it. I guess cuz they haven't lost their souls.....................

Aug 26 - 5AM
dolce (not verified)
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devoured- soul

No, you dont have to be on guard all the time. Work it through in your mind what you will do if it happens and then trust yourself to do that. I had lots of run ins with my husband and his girlfriends when he was still with me, so I understand your feelings. For me, it felt like someone reached into my stomach and pulled out my insides. Now he is in a different country and that makes me happy because I wont have to see him push women in my face. I do however dread a contact from his previous gfs. The bad dreams might actually be your body's way of healing. Maybe it's getting out all the bad energy and processing information for you? I dont dream at all since this happened to me.
Aug 26 - 2AM
tasha
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hey devoured soul

i think it's called hyper vigilance, from what i can gather it is a reaction to the trauma you have experienced and your other feelings sound like anxiety.I felt the same way for a while I was agrophobic for a while and it took a time to go away.As time passes and other things happen in your life the feeling will become less intense All my friends and family think I'm nuts-until he tried to add one of my cousins as a friend on a social networking page. I don't talk much too anyone anymore about my experience just because they think Im obsessed with him-when the reality is I just want to talk about it WITH SOMEONE PREFERRABLY A FRIEND because I'm hurt and trying to process it all!! He hasnt taken everything you are sane and normal He is the anomaly of humanity!!your soul may feel devoured now but at least you have one.
Aug 26 - 1AM
Barbara (not verified)
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devoured_soul

yes you do have to be on guard. If you do see him, walk AWAY IN THE OTHER DIRECTION - don't run - walk. As if you didn't see him. If he chases you down just say "Hello" and nothing else. NOTHING! Just stand there and smile and even if he says "aren't you going to talk?" Answer "NOTHING TO SAY" and walk away. Or let him go on and then say "ARE YOU DONE?" and don't wait for an answer. WALK AWAY! Treat him just like you would someone you have never met accosting you on the street. Polite but disinterested. GIVE HIM NO EMOTIONAL CONTENT - ACT LIKE A ROBOT!! http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/04/30/starve-vampire-when-you-dont-respond It's fine to practice - just in case. Then you're prepared. But also DISCUSS THIS WITH YOUR THERAPIST! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Victims - Updated Daily "As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. Beck