lisaad3366's story

Hi all!

This is so crazy. For the past 5 years of my 12 year relationship with "S", I was wondering if he was having an affair, why I always had to call to say, "hi". Why he would mimmick (spelling) things others say (not MOCK...mimmick - like he had no personality of his own).

There is no "adult conversation" with S. He just flips out at any confrontation on moral or financial conversations.
He puts me down.

Here are some things he says to me on a regular basis (I eat garlic...but so does he!...tee hee)
"Oh, your breath is bad", "I can't stand your voice". "Stop calling me". "Leave me alone."
"I have no sex drive." "You are too needy."
"Where I go, what I do and who I am with is none of your business."

I own my own business, I am successful and busy and only call him quickly or text him to let him know that I am thinking about him a couple times a day. (2-3 times over 12 hours)

What KILLED me and sealed the deal is: he went to the hair salon right next door (literally 100 feet) to my store to get his hair cut, Wednesday. I popped in to say hi and the owner said, "Hey "L" maybe "S" will buy you a Foil...they are on sale this week....or a cut...trim?..."

Do you know that "S" actually just sat there in the chair and had NO RESPONSE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not even a gesture of recognition!

I said, "hey "S" whaddaya think? Should I go Platinum Blonde (as we all chuckled)....."

Not one glance my way or the owner's way. The Salon is only 800 square feet large.
So I walked out and said, "your hair is looking great "S".

About 2 years ago, after constant emotional, financial and mental abuse from "S" I just out of the blue said to him one day, "S, why is this all about you????" You never want any intimacy. You never call me. You lie 7/24/365 and flip into another personality on a whim. Who are you? Why are you even with me?
THIS IS ALL ABOUT YOU!
What happened to you when you were a child? We should talk about this?
I asked you never to bring drugs into my home..but you still do.
WHY?
DO I matter to you?

I can't sum it all up right now. But I'll tell you all...before doing any research...I KNEW something was wrong.
MY GUT, my HEART...my "ME" just disappeared after a few years with this guy. I lost myself
LOST MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because.......

IT IS ALL ABOUT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am p-o'ed that I let myself go!

I am a giver. I kiss his bummy all the time!
The further he pulls away, the more I try to bring him back.

I know the Men are from Mars Women from Venus thing and how we should not "enter the cave" nor "pull on the rubber band".
I think some of these Male Narcs have read the books/seen DVD's and prey on our knowledge of such.

lisa