he blocked me - why do i feel like i am dying- he is gone for good

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#1 Oct 16 - 11PM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

he blocked me - why do i feel like i am dying- he is gone for good

I dont think i can do this - i just cant

yesterday i made the mistake of talking with him..i know i am stupid after 1.5 weeks of not talking on the phone-

he said something that hurt me, so i sent him an email basically ending it... and he sent one back that whatever was good for me. and to let him know if i change my mind( i told him not to contact me) but as you can see he did.

then he sent a text for me to get out and go for a walk.

so i sent a text and that exchange took place...

then I sent him an email and that is when he sent this really nasty one to me that I am too never text him again unless it is an emergency and that we can only discuss the project...some very hurtful things to me

then just now i get this - what seems like auto reply from his comcast with some symbols in it with the email truncated.

basically in his email to me it said that he doesnt have it in him anymore - cant do this any longer...the fighting drains him... and then there is upset now(i was not fighting just very very upset)

he has never blocked me and i dont think i can do this really. I should have just let it alone.

I guess i am of no use to him anymore.

i know hunter told me and so many did...and now i am beyond reeling...how will i make it thru. how???

he wont be back that i do know he is gone now.

Nov 8 - 9AM
WiltedRose
WiltedRose's picture

Like trying_hard said...

You have GOT to keep it in the forefront of your mind, that YOU DO NOT MISS AN ACTUAL PERSON WHO EVER EXISTED. You are only missing an "idea", a hologram, a projection. A cardboard cut-out. You deserve so much better than this---NOT just a better man, but a better EXISTENCE--and it is out there for you, and it looks so far away now, but it really isn't. Please, please go and keep NC. It is truly the first, hardest, biggest, most important step in HEALING yourself. When you go and stay with NC, your power comes back so strong, and so fast. I know it seems like forever, but a week or so is just a start...and I can't speak for others, but for me, NC became easier and easier, because it's truly the only thing you can do to get back at them.
Nov 7 - 8PM
trying_hard
trying_hard's picture

Mine blocked me too,

Mine blocked me too, Facebook, MSN, the lot. It's been 3 months now and I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss him, but I just try to remind myself that it's not 'him' I miss, it's the character he created in the early days to bait his line. I hope it will get easier for you. I think part of it is we are conditioned to think that if we are given the silent treatment then we must be in the wrong, that we are the 'bad guys'. That's not true. I think they use silence and withdrawal to punish, like how dare we do this to them... I'm trying hard to remember that I didn't deserve the cold shoulder. Sending you support x
Nov 5 - 5PM
a65703
a65703's picture

Honestly, it is the BEST

Honestly, it is the BEST thing that he could do for you. Even if you don't think so right now and want to cry yourself to sleep for a week straight. It is the best thing he could do for you and you will WANT to thank him one day. Because he is forcing and ALLOWING you to move on. He is going to be the best thing you never had. (a la Beyonce's song) My ex used the old "i can't take this fighting anymore" else too. If you say to a N that one of his hairs is out of place, he would get offended and complain he "can't take this fighting anymore". Pathetic.
Nov 8 - 7AM (Reply to #35)
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I think with him he blocks me

I think with him he blocks me now in hopes in his sick mind that I learn my lesson and then things go back to the way they were........but that never happens and he is so quick now to rage at me. it is crazy. I guess backupgirl handles this better than I do..... it is just so hurtful really. i sort of forgot I posted this post...that nite I was not blocked.... but was soon after only to be given this one email address to contact him at ...he was supposed to unblock me on the others....but I dont think he ever did. there is no talking to him anymore.... I guess I must have hit some truth in the texts I sent on Sunday..(see my latest) However he now sees anything I point out as HIM failing me...it is really twisted.
Oct 19 - 8AM
jackguy
jackguy's picture

I know how painful this is

I was d&d'd pretty much overnight - blanked, excluded from the family life that had developed through the course of the relationship, smeared (ex lying obviously). This is the most excruciating part. the change on a dime, the realisation that the whole relationship was a ruse, the realisation that the ex cannot form a bond and that I have bonded with someone who isn't there. I really feel bad if you're going through it - it's f===ing terrible. BUT it will get better. I watched and still watch a lot of sam vaknin's videos and read a lot of material RE NPD - this helped me stay sane and dignified. It doesn't take the pain away but it does ensure that you see clearly that you are dealing with a profoundly disturbed person, in my case a toddler in a woman's body. The hypocrisy and callousness make you want to puke but this just fuels my desire now to stand up for myself and stick up for anyone victimised by others. all the best destiny, you will make it through...but you are right to be feeling betrayed, destroyed, etc...what these individuals do is SICK. Jackguy
Oct 18 - 1PM
highlander
highlander's picture

Exact same thing happened to

Exact same thing happened to me! It was crushing at the time, but in the long run, it will save you lot's more heartache. Take it from me, it's better not to see or know certain things and move along. Healing is hard, but there is no reason for your nose to be rubbed in it, and insult to injury is never good. This is a blessing in disguise... Hang in there, it all uphill from here...
Oct 18 - 12AM
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

thanks everyone for the

thanks everyone for the continued support- today was very hectic for me and very busy- which is a good thing... lots of things going on I now have to take care of...ugh. the Narc is a piece of work really- what an azz with that email to me... and no text last nite to atleast know I wasnt blocked...sick. I shouldnt have known he would make an appearance with his dictator like email. whatever. it is odd I was so hurt last nite... and today I am just too worn to put much effort into thinking about him... he sent some rant he sent to some company- to show me i am not the only one he rants at...again whatever. i know it IS him... he doesnt have to show me things to prove it. a few times he has said he is a pri@k and he knows it... I think he literally has worn me out. thanks again everyone for helping me thru last nite and your continued support... tomorrow will be a better day as well... atleast i know tonite i will sleep.
Oct 17 - 11PM
Caligirl
Caligirl's picture

Mine would say...

"I can't deal with you." "I can't take this." "You just want to fight." "I don't know how much more of this I can take." If it was close to bedtime on the phone, he'd say "Go to bed." Narc speak. I agree with the advice of read up & get ready. It sounds like he'll be back. xxx
Nov 7 - 8PM (Reply to #30)
Gravity
Gravity's picture

caligirl

HAHA I cant even tell you how many times I heard those same lines. "I can't take all of this fighting any more" "all we do is fight" "we're just toxic for eachother" "you were so mean to me, I can't subject myself to that again. If I was always accusing you of lying and not believing you and telling me I was being condescending would you want to talk to me?" I was also told to "go to bed" ALL the TIME And Destiny, I know it may not seem like it now but he did the BEST THING for you. I heard this quote "you don't die of a broken heart, you only wish you did" You're GOING to make it through this, it's going to be okay. And he blocked you because he knew how much it would hurt you. Remember that normal people don't just pull verizon blocks on people with no warning whatsoever. Like so many others have said, mark my words he will return eventually. Hopefully by then HIS number will be blocked!
Nov 5 - 5PM (Reply to #29)
Gaia
Gaia's picture

Cgrl

"I can't deal with you." "I can't take this." "You just want to fight." "I don't know how much more of this I can take." Exact same lingo that my XN would use, are they all reading from the same script? Anytime , I would call him on his bullshit, he would use these phrases. Or here are a few others: " What ever you want" (projection) "Your provoking me" (projection) "You just want everything your way" (projection) "I dont need to tell you anything" (entitlement) DISGUSTING really.
Oct 17 - 10PM
rosedewittbukater
rosedewittbukater's picture

What Kesha said

Once the devaluing begins, with each round it gets worse and worse. I am speaking from experience! This article explains it well http://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com/2011/08/03/reconciling-with-a-psychopath-the-dangerous-lure-of-the-honeymoon-phase/ He may be gone for now but it is likely you have not heard the end of him. They are famous for their "curtain calls". Keep posting here, focus on taking care of yourself and the healing will begin. "It will feel better when it stops hurting". That way by the time he does show up again, you will be strong enough to resist,and not fall back into the vicious cycle. By the way, that was one of my xN's favorite lines "I'm tired of fighting". This is narcpeak for "stop questioning my bs and calling me on my abusive behavior" xx, Rose
Oct 17 - 4PM
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

An easier way to view this

An easier way to view this is…yes, we are not saints. I don’t take no responsibility for arguments I once had with ex N. But, the letter he writes here, reeks of someone who is full of self. He gets the impression that you clingy, in desperate NEED of him, etc. And maybe right now, it feels that way. But, NC will bring clarity, and peace. Not the first week…not the second…but by the third week, it gets easier…better. You will feel less weighted down. I promise you. GO NC. No more replies. He will throw a fit, believe me. He is waiting for you to come crawling back. Let him go. You only THINK you need him, but you don’t. We all functioned before these fools wafted into our lives, we function EVEN BETTER when they’re gone out of them. You have lessons to learn, and in the NC, you will. This all might sound like psychobabble, but trust me. I was where you are. But, going NC was the best thing ever!!! Stay strong. DO NOT REPLY. Besides, you don’t want to waste his time anymore. :=}
Oct 17 - 11AM
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

this was the email i got this

this was the email i got this morning in reply to my text asking if he was hacked and I was blocked..after getting the cryptic letters in the email.... he could have replied last nite and chose not to...and again instead of working he replies to me..but yet i waste time.. whatever- if i have someplace to go I dont sit on email in the morning- the below is just such a joke all about him....it is his BS...not mine... well other than my reacting to him....who does he think he is ordering me around... what will be Narc...is you will go into a bin and there you will stay.... the old me would have replied by now telling him off...but i wont waste my time. this email below is mild compared to some others... anyone have any thoughts on this ? Sorry...didn't mean to send that as a page. Trying to wake up to get to a week from hell. I wasn't hacked & you're not blocked. Want you gone for good? That depends upon your behavior and how much more of my time you're going to waste. Meaning, I want the BS gone for good. No, not what I want. What WILL BE. So if you insist on bringing BS to my door, resulting in wasting my time, causing further upset & distraction, screwing with my peace of mind and focus, then yes I want you gone for good. If you can detach and completely get rid of the BS, then we can SEE what is possible. If dealing with you on any level means that it comes with a dose of BS, I don't need it, don't want it & won't put up with it any more. Not at all. Nada. The odd message was because I was at xxx last night with my xxxxx Had to go do that immediately after my afternoon appointment, and didn't get back until 11:30 last night. Tried about 8 times to answer an e-mail from you from my cell which is a total exercise in frustration. Accidentally hit "send" one of those times and that's what came through to you. Other people need me sometimes too. Including ME. I need me. So I got nearly nothing done this weekend that I had to do. And what for? To spin my wheels in a huge pit of BS AGAIN with you? And now I have to pay the price for trying again to help you, to settle you down? Well, that didn't work so you wasted my time. Time that I don't HAVE to waste. We'll talk later. When I don't know. I'm seriously not in the mood to be responsible for your peace of mind and happiness, when all you do is fragment mine. Not fair, Sucks.
Nov 5 - 8AM (Reply to #25)
zzcem
zzcem's picture

What a jerk!

God! I know that feeling to receive a message like that. Ours was always over the phone. It puts YOU into extreme anxiety and walking on eggshells because you don't know if it is over or not and you then waste YOUR time trying to figure out what YOU can do to make it better, to turn him around. Please reread the email from him. He says that he is trying to reassure you? WTF? Where? When? I don't see it in that email. He sounds just like my ex in that email. It makes me nauseous to even read. Please go no contact and stay there. I did not have the strength for it so I changed my cell number and I deleted and changed my email address. As for work he can't reach me there either. I work for my own company and my phone line is through skype. So I blocked his number there also and would not even know if he tried. I am going to tell you something that I also need to drill into my own head ---- Life is too short! They are NOT the be all end all and actually we will be a hell of a lot happier, content, peaceful, and live a MUCH MUCH fuller life without them! We just need to get through this initial pain of withdrawal. Then the sky will clear! And another interesting thing. It has only been a week and a half for me, but what I noticed recently is that people react differently to me on the street, in the stores, etc. In a positive way. It is as if you remove that negative situation/person from your life and your own light will start to shine through. Eventually you will even attract what ever that destiny is in your life and perhaps this was a stepping stone to get there. Somehow there was a message embedded there that we had to learn to get to a much higher place.
Oct 17 - 2PM (Reply to #24)
dulcinea441
dulcinea441's picture

Aaaaahhhhhh!!! Sounds just

Aaaaahhhhhh!!! Sounds just like my narc!!!! He would say stuff to me like, "IF you can come up with one reason why I should stay, I MIGHT consider listening." Their language is always couched in qualifiers which make you feel like you have to crawl and beg to prove your worthiness. And, as always, you -- and only YOU -- are completely to blame! For everything! Yuck.
Oct 17 - 12PM (Reply to #23)
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

destiny

I just posted a topic regarding that trying to analyze why or what they are doing is pointless. It's all crap and just thinking about it will keep you stuck. Do whatever you have to do to get him completely out of your life or you will continue to suffer. It's up to you at this point since you are aware you are still communicating with a sick individual.
Oct 17 - 11AM (Reply to #19)
la.luna
la.luna's picture

I am BEGGING you, destiny

Sweetie, I know it's hard but PLEASE cut him off completely. I was where you were not even a month ago. After going NC, my mind is clearer, I'm weaning off of antidepressents, I'm eating more, even put on a little weight. This is TOXIC. And he is enjoying seeing you squirm. Your pain is a sport to him. Please, destiny, cut him off today and seek help. You can do this.
Nov 5 - 8AM (Reply to #22)
zzcem
zzcem's picture

Thanks for the posting la.luna

and congrats on your NC and your recovery. Agreed. It is TOXIC.
Oct 17 - 11AM (Reply to #20)
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I jus got the proof I need

I jus got the proof I need and I didnt really need any...in him passing on some field related info to me, which is helpful in the string...he wrote how he as starting his day on Sun with cups of coffee...well that was AFTER he read my email asking me to leave him alone.... SO...it was NOT me that derailed him at all.... he was still able to compose a very very long response to this person. after my email and that is what derailed him and it is almost noon here and he should be working and hasnt..... ugh, im off to go get on with my day... this is insanity. what a joke.... NO more. this for some reason is making me laugh.
Oct 17 - 11AM (Reply to #21)
la.luna
la.luna's picture

Classic

Like you said, you have all the proof you need. There's no need to have ANY PERSONAL CONTACT with him. Try to resist the urge to check up on him. It'll be hard, but knowing what he's doing is just as dtrimental as contact. As for the laughter, I went through an emotional roller coaster. Still on it. I'd laugh one min and be pissed as hell the next. Feel what you feel, acknowledge it, but try not to dwell. Much love!
Oct 17 - 10AM
la.luna
la.luna's picture

Don't Give Up Now!!!!

This is your opportunity. By blocking you, he is giving you a blessing. You are going through withdrawl right now, the same way you would if you stop doing a drug cold turkey. You will make it through. How? Just like the rest of us who are in recovery. One baby step at a time. You can take these baby steps by focusing on what you need. I agree with Hunter, therapy is a beautiful thing and can help your journey. You can also find an outlet for your emotions. Paint. Write. Sing. I've heard an aggressive sport like karate or kickboxing is great for the anger that's coming and can hep you stop veiwing yourself as weak or as a victim. You CAN exist without this MFer. You are NOT dying, even though it feels that way. You'll look back and realizing the you are just beginning to live, love! You might want to start affirming yourself daily. I say this affirmation to myself in the mirror every morning: "You are a beautiful, intelligent powerful woman who deserves all the respect in the world." That way, if no one else tells me one good thing about myself all day, it's cool, I already have it covered. Make up an affirmation for yourself. If you keep telling yourself how amazing, wonderful, beautiful, powerful and sexy you are, you will believe it. Lean on us for support. You can do this! I highly recommend, in addition to both of Lisa's books, you pick up a copy of Revolution From Within: A Book of Self-Esteem by (the phenomenal) Gloria Steinem. It looks at self-esteem from a psychological, familial, political, and personal standpoint and I've found it profoundly helpful as I'm begining to heal. End the cycle. NC, NC, NC! And to quote Hunter Delete, Delete, Delete! You're too busy right now being YOUR OWN supply. You can't be anyone else's ;). Let us know if you need anything!
Oct 17 - 10AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Destiny

Honey, I am not the enemy.. I don't want to watch this train wreck!! This is hard.. I have personal trainer who is kicking my ass.. She always says " if this was easy wouldn't everyone be skinny" ? This is not different.. Every time you contact him he plays head games.. Everytime... You have to take baby steps to stop communicting with him! Please,please see a therapist !! Hunter
Oct 17 - 10AM (Reply to #16)
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

thanks hunter- a trainwreck

thanks hunter- a trainwreck is what this is.... and I can see clearly after what has happened the last 24 hrs that this is all just a game...the cryptic email..with just symbols..sent from a phone he never emails from..making me wonder... he could have just sent a text. he could have replied to my text. or wow imagine that picked up the phone....but nope kept me wondering game playing baby steps is right... it is just tough to wrap my head around how he blames me for taking up his time.... I think I know why this happened I was very vulnerable and he was so helpful and caring towards me ...during a time when I really needed the support... that is how i got sucked in at first... then I was very indifferent...didnt care at all if I even talked to him...found him annoying trying to contact me so much...many times i didnt answer..friends couldnt believe how he kept calling me over and over again..... then he walked out of my life for almost a month.in May........and something happened when he came back. it was odd really because when he was gone i did not miss him..as I said I was indifferent towards him until he came back into my life. it was the same game playing though that I had to remain hidden (now I see that he gets off on that ...keeping me a secret) from the backup girl(who i now realize she is clueless)..or whatever you want to call her.... it isnt her at all...i dont think she has a problem with me... it is all lies. she has my contact info and would have reached out by now. i wish that never happened. that i never felt what i did when he returned....not sure why it even did really.... i do remember he was nice for a day...and then played more games. whenever he takes a break and comes back around again it is usually that backup doesnt know we are talking... this time it was backup doesnt want us focusing on others problems... and then all about his lack of time and putting me on some schedule of sorts.because he cant juggle everyone if he focused on me he cant focus on others.. which he knows gets to me which is part of the game- that i can now see clearly he is so predictable so i need to get back to the indifference.... those were simpler times for sure. but then again he woould never think of treating me this way.... funny a few days ago he mentioned my indifference...how he can never tell with me and sometimes i surprise him as I act indifferent...so I guess I do have a little of that left in me. yes, back to therapy I go...embarassed.... but I think he will set me straight. therapy made me so much stronger after the last narc...it was tough some sessions... this is such a mess I dont even know where to begin really.
Oct 17 - 9AM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

You many not care for this feedback

Yes Destiny as some have said on this thread, the Narcs do like to play games, and so do we at times, if we want to get honest with ourselves. Sounds to me like you were getting off on playing this cat and mouse game with him and he decided to take his ball and stop playing and now you are hurt and pissed because your drug has been taken away from you. This is a game as long as YOU want it to be. HE will keep it up if you want to continue to play. This is NOT NOT NOT about what he is doing but what YOU are doing. When you play with a NARC you are playing with a master of the game and you will not win and it sounds like this is what you are finding out. If you want your life to be a game and you want to be toyed with at will, then you stay in the game. If you are done and want to take control back of your life, then you will stop. This is NOT about when he will stop; it is about when YOU will stop. God bless, Goldie
Oct 17 - 10AM (Reply to #13)
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

great advice Goldie- and I

great advice Goldie- and I agree...this must stop now,today...he has made my life hell the last three days... i have lost some of my health over it...no sleep etc. I should be out enjoying the fall weather not focused on him all the time like this.... it wasnt like this before at all.... i think a past Narc hurt by the Narc xbf is where a lot of my reactions lie- i dont think I fully healed from that... otherwise what this guy is doing wouldnt affect me so deeply. turns out Narc didnt block me , but tried to reply via his phone (which he never does) it sent out a few letters that is it ...intentionaly...possible as he could have texted me...a reply last nite. I read the email and laughed... he dictated to me how I have to behave LOL... his emails are going into a folder. what he does not realize is that he and I are done...done because of how he played around with me and blamed me for wasting his time... done because I allowed him to drag me down...to ruin my health...to affect me like this... done because during my hurt- he never picked up the phone to me....friends pick up the phone. Done because a friend doesnt send out a dictator email. I also see what I was doing in this maddness.....I would end it so many times....tell him not to contact me and somehow he would... a text was an example yesterday- then he causes drama and I jump back into it...and before I know it im not walking away but back in the game. that will end today. the old me would have hit reply- he will get nothing but silence now... he made some reference to his bad week ahead... ah well.... pity he has to actually go out and deal with people that require him to actually work. he was so used to dealing with me that didnt have that high of expectations. People see thru him fairly quickly....most dont want to get on a personal level... and run... Im also going to check back into therapy- really really take care of ME... get my hair done pamper myself...I deserve it...it is my favorite time of the year... and he will not take that joy from me any longer or any of my time. Im going to plan some fall activities...and be done with drama. I already feel lighter- not contacting him will be very easy...as we only talked these last three days in the 1.5 weeks. and we werent planned to talk this week anyway... he dictates it all...no more. I rarely ever initiated contact...or called him..I think i have called him maybe three times... with out it being me returning his calls... I have to start preparing for my life ahead- I am so much younger than him... have so much to live for that to put up with this.... his free advice is not worth all this baggage and now what I see as intentional game playing. ...lying to stir the pot..sending cryptic msgs via email and not text... no logic...just games. he can try to blame me, but it is all on him. im still laughing at the stupid email...how pathetic he is. he basically ordered me to be detached with no BS (bs to him is me having a voice and being hurt) and he said other people need him too (well Narc you jerk... most people that are sane have a balanced life and can handle more that one person needing them) if he was sane... his email would have made some sense...I mean I did ditch him... and then replied to his texts... so yes a sane man would possibly see that as being jerked around... but this guy caused this drama ..also a sane guy would have just let me go...OR tried to resolve things. not play the who can hurt who the most game... he will try to contact again no doubt about it... but he wont get me...not this time around. I will pretend he is dead. I think if I can get a month of NC i will start regaining my power...and also some therapy sessions to deal with the resurfacing of the past Narc hurt....I cant believe that is resurfaced... as for the project aspect- he isnt getting a dime of my money. I dont pay to be abused.
Oct 17 - 11AM (Reply to #14)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Outstanding insights Destiny!!!

You are doing the work and you are looking at yourself now and this is the beginning of a full recovery. I am sure that you are right about the true "trigger" being the other Narc. This is very common. If we don't "heal" from the initial wounds, whether they stem from childhood or a prior relationship, then we carry the old wounds into the new relationship. So much of my pain and reactions to the last narc were really unfinished business from my wounds from childhood and my son's father who deserted my son. I never fully got over these hurts and carried them into every single realtionship I had afterwards. It is only NOW over these past 2 years that I have gone back and looked at the ROOT causes of my accepting completely unacceptable behavior, that I have begun to see what is really up and the healing and discovery of my part has become evident. I am beginning to discover me now, the real me, the one who existed BEFORE these hurtful relationships damaged me into tolerating the unacceptable and learning to put me first and care enough about me, NOT to settle for abuse and to begin to learn to let in the love that is offered to me so freely from people who are not disordered. I am soooo....happy for you Destiny and proud of you for hanging in long enough through the tough advice and having the courage to stick it out while searching for your answers and NOT RUNNING away as many have, when they hear things they don't want to hear. You are going to be fine, and you are going to get your life back, you deserve it, and you are worth it. You GO GIRL!!! God bless, Goldie
Oct 17 - 3AM
dulcinea441
dulcinea441's picture

Blocking me in some form or

Blocking me in some form or another was my Narc's favorite weapon. He knew all about my deep-seated fears of abandonment stemming from childhood, so whenever he wanted to hurt me, he would defriend me on FB, or send me straight to voicemail, or tell me that my emails were set to go directly to trash, or just simply say that I would never be hearing from him again. Needless to say, it was never true. He was never suddenly done with me like that. Don't worry -- he will be back, if that's what you really want (and I pray it is not).
Oct 17 - 9PM (Reply to #10)
rosedewittbukater
rosedewittbukater's picture

Blocking

Dulcie mine did all these things too! I think this ST is the worst. It is like saying "you are dead to me" or "you do not exist". It stung me like it did you, and totally pushed my terrifying fear of abandonment button.
Oct 18 - 12AM (Reply to #11)
dulcinea441
dulcinea441's picture

It's one of those things I

It's one of those things I have to remember when I start to romanticize the "old" him (i.e., the big faker who first lured me into his narc trap). When I start missing him in some way, I just remind myself of all of the abuse I suffered at his hands and the fantasy vanishes reaaaallly quickly.
Oct 17 - 3AM (Reply to #9)
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

hey there dulcinea- gosh

hey there dulcinea- gosh these men are so much alike it is very scary.... i started the blocking with him via email many months ago he called me childish... now my first Narc of 2 years ago...well he would do the email block game... what I would do is block his incoming and still reply from my email ...he couldnt reply to me LOL...so he created over 10 different email addys one nite... it was rather funny. that ended so horribly... him making it impossible for me to contact him at all... I found a way around it though and that kinda impressed him.. that was a very painful time. this current narc started with deleting from a networking site... then yahoo...only to the next day try to friend me again...of which he did not get on again. both the narc and myself always walk away saying to leave me alone etc... lately he has turned it around on me when I have walked first...this time was much different..very very final. he is super busy with work.. and cant tolerate my emails. If he returns I will be stunned. i only would want that so I could ignore him....as he tried a return yesterday and this was the result of that. i need a full month of healing...and i know i will be much better.