I'm still new to this forum, and have been reading posts here which have been immensely helpful. I've never shared my story because it does not seem most people understand, unless they've been in a relationship with a N.
We were together for 1 year, and even talked about getting married and looked at rings. We're both in our late 30s, educated, smart professionals. Neither one of us has ever been married.
The verbal and emotional abuse started probably 3 months in, after our first long wknd together. He wanted to break up, and spewed evil, "You're not the one", "I'll never marry you", "You're so far from what I'm looking for", "I don't want you", and on and on. But strangely, I begged for him to stay and work things out. He did. Little did I know his spewing of pure hatred, and me begging and pleading would happen another half dozen times.
The abuse was so gradual. All I know is I was walking on eggshells doing everything to please him, and he was demanding. Cooking these elaborate meals. Constantly complaining about his stomach, his sensitive back, and just went on and on. Making sure not to say things to upset him, but not sure what would set him off. My family and friends saw my transformation from a confident, vibrant, attractive woman who was constantly worried about pleasing him.
He ruined every single happy occasion with my friends and family in the last year.
Then, I found out a few months ago I was pregnant. Complete accident, but also a blessing. He first told me he wanted the baby, and wanted to get married. And, as he does best, he pulled the rug out from right underneath me. He didn't want the baby, but told me if I kept it, he would be asserting his rights. (yes, a not so subtle threat). He told me he didn't care if I lived or die.
He left me when I was pregnant. I decided I could not keep the child. I had to endure the abortion on my own.He does not know what I ended up doing because we have had 1 month of No Contact.
After all he's put me through, I'm still wondering if I'll ever hear from him?
How can a man walk away from someone he has been with for 1 year? We saw each other almost every single day. How can he not contact me when he doesn't know if I kept the baby?
What kind of man leaves his pregnant girlfriend? What kind of man doesn't try to find out whether she kept the baby or not? What kind of man doesn't want to know whether he's going to be a father or not? How can someone be this heartless?
I don't understand.