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12 days nc- longest ever and he is in my small town tonite....

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#1 Nov 24 - 4PM
Eliza
Eliza's picture

12 days nc- longest ever and he is in my small town tonite....

i found out through a friend that he is coming to my town tonight..."to get away" I had plans(made days ago) to go out with friends but am worried I may see him....I am pissed off that i may cancel going out because of him....does this mean he is STILL controlling me???? grrr.....and i was doing so well.....
Eliza

Nov 25 - 9AM
Eliza
Eliza's picture

i did see him....he acted as

i did see him....he acted as if nothing was different! last he had heard from me i basically told him if he died i wouldnt care...and then see him last night and he acts like nothing EVER happened!!!!i'll admit it was tuough and today i keep thinking about him....but....it would be tougher if i was still in..... thank you all....so good to come here and get strength... Eliza
Nov 25 - 2PM (Reply to #5)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

Eliza

what a complete moron he is lol!! OF COURSE "something happened" but being the Narc he is, he would be the last to know. Either they are used to people telling them to go straight to Hell, and barely notice, or they are so deeply disturbed that what other people say to them does not register on their radar. I think it's a combination of both. I'm glad you had a "better" time of it than you would have. Did you know all Narcs do this? Whether they dump you or you dump them, they run into you at some future point and behave as if NOTHING happened? It's because nothing DID happen, inside of them. This is the key sign that they are deeply disturbed people. Only a psychotic would not be able to see the wake of destruction and pain behind them.
Nov 24 - 5PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Well...

for me if I were really trying to get out of this horrible place Narcville I wouldnt go out and risk because if you are an addict like me all it takes it one hit and you are in the vortex again. One sighting One comment One look... Its only one night. If you are weak I wouldnt risk your sobriety
Nov 24 - 5PM
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

If it were me, I'd think I'd

If it were me, I'd think I'd go out with my friends anyway. Why let him have the power to alter your plans? If you see him, just ignore him. Don't give him any more attention than you would give a dog turd. If he tries to contact you, walk away. You're out on the town to have a good time with your friends. The x isn't part of it. Just a helpful tip: Ladies' Rooms are a really good escape route. You can take as long as you wish in there, and x's can't follow you. :) I live in a really small town, too. It sometimes is very uncomfortable. When I've gone out to do something as simple as buying milk at the store, I've ran into xnh, his first ex-wife, and sometimes one of his kids. I have to admit that I do a lot of scanning the parking lots for "enemy" cars before I enter the store, and I watch my surroundings/listen for any voices that I object to. Normally, if I'm paying attention, I can just avoid them. For me one of the things I find harder than avoiding xnh, is when other people ask about him and the kids. I get really tired of telling people, "We're divorced. I don't know how they are, and I really don't care." I guess that's kind of rude of me, but it gets people to change the subject quickly. lol.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Nov 25 - 7AM (Reply to #2)
desprathousewife
desprathousewife's picture

Sick of it and mystwoman

Sick of it and mystwoman both gave great advise, two differing points of view. I agree with both, but it depends how strong you feel to cope with seeing him and whether it would hinder your recovery. Your healing is the important thing now. Whichever you chose I hope you share it with us and have come through the ordeal :)