The 7 Deadly Mistakes Victims Make with Their Divorce Lawyers

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General questions about divorce or custody cases * Have you or any members of your firm ever represented my partner or anyone associated with my partner? * Do you handle divorce or custody cases? * How many of these cases have you handled? * How many of them were contested? * How many of them went to trial? * Did any of the cases involve expert witnesses? * How many were before the judge(s) who will hear my case? * What kind of decisions does this judge usually make? * Have you ever appealed a case, and if so, what were the issue(s) appealed? How many of these appealed cases did you win? (Remember that even excellent attorneys lose cases.) Questions about attorney fees and costs * What are your fees? What work do these fees cover? Is this an hourly fee or a flat fee for the entire case? * Is there an additional charge for appearing in court? * Do you ever charge less for people who do not have much money? * Do you charge a retainer? How much? * What does it cover? Do you refund all or part of the retainer if my case ends up being dropped or not taking much time? (Attorneys should be willing to refund any part of the retainer not spent.) * Are there other expenses which I may have to pay? What are they and how much are they likely to be? * Will you be the only person working on my case? What will other people do? How will I be charged for their work? Will I be charged for speaking to your secretary? Your receptionist? * Are there ways that I can assist you so as to keep down my costs? * Will you send me a copy of letters, documents, and court papers that you file or receive regarding my case? * Do you charge extra if the case gets more complicated or we have to go back to court? * Will you require that I have paid everything that I owe you before you will go to court with me or finish my case? (Many attorneys do this. They may also refuse to return your original papers or copies of your file, and in some states this may be legal. Therefore you should insist on getting a copy of any paper filed with the court or given or received from another party or otherwise relevant to your case. Be sure to keep all of them in a safe place, in case you ever need them.) * Are you willing to work out a payment plan with me? Are you willing to take some of your fee from my abuser after we settle? * Will you put our agreement about fees and what work you will perform in writing? Protecting Your Identity Identity theft is rampant in the United States. Survivors of domestic violence must take extra precautions to proect themselves from abusers who use identity as a means of power and control. Abusers may use survivors' credit cards without their permission, open fradulent new credit cards in survivors' names (ultimately ruining their credit) or open credit cards in children's names. Misuse of survivors' social security numbers is also common in the context of domestic violence. Abusers may fradulently use survivors' social security numbers to stalk, harass or threaten survivors. Read more to learn how to protect yourself if you are experiencing this type of abuse. Survivors experiencing abuse should contact their local domestic violence program for immediate support. Check your local yellow pages or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (operated by the Texas Council on Family Violence) at 1-800-799-SAFE to be connected to the program in your area. Steps to Take to Protect Your Identity ¨ Relocate. Moving across town, across the state or across the country puts physical distance between you and the abuser. Be sure to obtain an unlisted phone number and be aware of the Full Faith and Credit provisions in your restraining order, which make the order valid when you travel to another state or tribal jurisdiction. ¨ Apply to the address confidentiality program in your state. These types of programs allow individuals who have experienced domestic violence, sexual assault, stalking or other types of crime to receive mail at a confidential address, while keeping their actual address undisclosed. Rules and eligibility vary from state to state. Click here to see a list of address confidentiality programs in states across the country. ¨ Open a post office box to receive mail. Abusers may be able to open fraudulent credit cards by responding to credit card offers received in the mail. A post office box may prevent this if only you have access to it. Be wary of the confidentiality policies of non-government post office box centers such as Mail Boxes, Etc…and the fact that it may not be possible to remain anonymous in rural towns while accessing the post office. ¨ Protect your incoming and outgoing mail. Shred all credit card offers that come in the mail along with other documents that have your name, address and/or social security number on them. Mail bills and other sensitive documents directly from the post office instead of from the mailbox on your porch or at the end of your driveway. Call 1-800-5OPT-OUT to stop receiving credit card offers in the mail. ¨ Guard your social security number. Do not use your social security number as a general ID, PIN or password. Request to have your social security number removed from documents you receive in the mail and ID cards for health insurance, driving, work, etc… Click here to read about changing your social security number. ¨ Check your credit report. The best way to determine if someone has committed fraud against you is to check your credit report with all three credit bureaus at least once per year. Visit www.annualcreditreport.com to obtain a free yearly credit report. You can also make a request to have a fraud alert placed on your credit report. Click here to find out how to contact the credit bureaus. ¨ Report suspected fraud. Contact local law enforcement if you know of or suspect fraud and ask to file a report. Check and/or close accounts you believe have been tampered. File a report with the Federal Trade Commission at 1-877-ID-THEFT and the Social Security Administration Fraud Hotline at 1-800-269-0271. File copies of police reports with credit bureaus. ¨ Protect information you give out. Never give any identifying information over the phone or through email or the internet unless you initiated the call or have verification that the website or email communication is secure. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Articles & information for abuse victims - Updated Daily Online Coaching for Victims of Narcissists/ Psychopaths

~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/

bumping this up

There are deadly traps in every business-the law is the same. Some other things to remember. 1. your lawyer charges by the hour and for any part of hour. Some will encourage you to call when you are anxious and the bill can be so huge that if you get the house you have to sell it to pay the lawyer. 2. lawyers and judges see one another all the time. You have to make sure the lawyers aren't conspiring together to keep the proceedings going in order to up their fees. 3. there can be a history of sexual abuse by lawyers don't be too distraught, too dependent, too vulnerable. 4. never go to a lawyer's office alone and it never hurts to have a voice activated tape recorder in your pocket so you can remember what the lawyer is telling you to do. You can get them at places like Radio Shack and they are not expensive. 5. check out every lawyer you hire with the local bar association. Make sure they have a clean record. Divorce lawyers are dealing with chaos and assets you don't want someone, you think is in your corner, actually in your 'bank account'. try and find other women who have had dirvorce dealings with the lawyer you are going to select. See if they have satisfied clients and get everything about their fees and court costs in writting.

Again - read the article at the beginning of this thread. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/

It's a lot more than no empathy. Their BRAINS are different. They seriously CAN NOT FEEL. Many of them don't know what normal FEELINGS are. http://howtospotadangerousman.blogspot.com/2008/08/pathological-child-prodigy-savant-of.html http://howtospotadangerousman.blogspot.com/2008/08/pathological-child-prodigy-savant-all.html They MUST look at the rest of the world as totally effed up, and they're the only one who has their crap together. How amazing to think you're the only 'correct' person in the world. wow. Yes, because they refuse to see there is something wrong with THEM. Maybe once back in their childhood they had an inkling something was wrong but it was quickly erased by doing something that made them feel GOOD. Putting someone down, masturbating, shoplifting, raging... NEGATIVE ANGRY EMOTIONS are the only things that seem to lift their endorphins. They simply can't see - not won't - CAN NOT. Will NEVER happen. EVER. It's more than they 'have no clue' - they literally can not PHYSIOLOGICALLY PROCESS that they have no clue. And they become enraged when you try to force them. It is USELESS to try to get them help, pray for them, get them on meds. NOTHING WORKS. Sorry, N O T H I N G. You need to get away from them ASAP! And notice how many successful Narcs and Psychopaths there are out there? This behavior gets REWARDED so why stop? ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Cost-Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/

~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Cost-Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/