All it took was being in "the neighborhood"...

to set me off. I swear. I can't believe the waves of emotion. We had a big family birthday party at my brother's house. And no kidding, the turn to the right takes me in to my brothers subdivision, a turn to the left and I am on Narc Road.

I had a flash... I'm going to drive by and see who's cars are there. I know what OW car looks like now. I'm going to drive by....

Send the text with my grand plan... text returned... uh... that counts as contact...contact=pain... AND you will have to start counting NC all over.

well...OK... I'm german and irish. We are stubborn mother fuckers.... and I'm not giving up my 25 days....

so I go to the party and I do good. I leave the party, and here we go... stupid thoughts.. nothing even tangible. just weird headgames....

I am just pissed. Pissed of my perception that he is all hunky dorey with this while I struggle. ...

I ate too much at the party and I'm tired because last night I struggled with sleep for no real apparent reason. Just struggled. So those were the triggers....

frustrating.. to say the least...

round3