Are these mood cycles normal?

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dabussard
dabussard's picture
Are these mood cycles normal?

I go from anger, wanting to punch his lights out, to severe depression and crying and then f&*k him, I don't want anything to do with him...

Monday was severe depression and crying... Tuesday and Wednesday was f*&k him, I don't want anything to do with him... Thank god the hoovering didn't start on Monday... I would have caved...

Today... I am so tired that I am numb and well just don't give a shit I guess...

But, it is time for the anger to come back around...

Is this normal? Is it part of the healing and recovery?

whoknew
whoknew's picture
same here
i am so up and down and all over the place at any given moment literally. i get sad and miss him, then cry, then get mad at myself and him, then pretend im over it and dont care anymore, then i get exhausted from just thinking about it, keep myself busy, exercise, read, and feel better. but by the next day the cycle starts all over again. i have no consistency in my emotions!
dabussard
dabussard's picture
Today
Ok, Today I am angry!!! Hope it subsides or I am afraid I will club him.... lol... So, I have went from depression and crying on Monday. To F&*K him, I don't give a shit on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday... Hopefully, Barrel racing tomorrow takes me back to the f*&k it stage.... lol...
Hunter
Hunter's picture
Just keep doing what your
Just keep doing what your doing. Eventually you get off the Rollercoaster. I used to love now, now ugh!!! Hunter
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture
Mood cycles
I find myself either starting off strong and feeling confident, and by the end of the day depressed and sick of it being in my head, or the opposite I start off crappy and end up feeling good. Mostly now I really dislike him all the time. My biggest problem is that it has affected my sleep.
Caligirl
Caligirl's picture
Totally normal!
As Ally said, we ingested a toxin, and the body and mind has to purge that. In the grief cycle too, it isn't linear. You go through the cycles randomly. It gets better with time. Sometimes a good memory gets triggered, and it makes me sad. When I remember something negative he did or said, anger kicks in. I think a lot of the ups and downs are because of the lack of true closure one could get if they were normal. If they were, we could remember the good, and move on peacefully, and they would take some accountability. But when someone treats you so disrespectfully, cuts you down, blames you and pushes you away, it makes it harder. It robs us of our power. Knowing that I was powerless to change anything is so frustrating. I think it perpetuates some of the sadness and anger. As time passes, and we gain our power back, we can accept it for what it was and wasn't, and healing will come.
LilithErisRose
LilithErisRose's picture
"Normal"
I went through this. I think we all have so, yes... I think it is normal. I kind of look at it as the mind and the body healing itself. I have found reading a lot on Taoism has helped me. It may or it may not you. The Tao of Pooh, the Art of Peace. Along with reminding myself that This Too Shall Pass. I'm at about four months with as limited NC as possible due to some financial obligations on his behalf. It gets better. I've started to realize what my triggers are when it comes to N and how he knows what they are as well as uses them to try to hurt me still. Time is the only weapon that we are given at birth and it does conquer all adversaries. Hang in there honey.
bakingfortherapy
bakingfortherapy's picture
normal?
dabussard, None of being emotionally terrorized by a Narc is normal! And I agree with the other post. I went through every emotion that exists. Happy to be rid of him, uncontrollable crying for the loss of him and everything in between. The minute I thought I was doing better I saw or heard or thought of something that reminded me of him and then I would be broken again. But it does get better! And thats just it these A**holes have broken us down emotionally and we have to become stronger and wiser and rebuild! Hang in there and keep moving forward!
ally2375
ally2375's picture
If it's not normal...
...then you and I are "abnormal" together. :) I think everyone goes through this. The early days are the worst, because your mood can change from minute to minute. The way I choose to look at it is that you've ingested something toxic and your body has to purge it. It took time to accumulate in your system and it will take time to get it out. The mood swings will lessen with time.
StudentOfLife
StudentOfLife's picture
"ingested something toxic and your body has to purge it."
...is such a very good analogy!! :0) That's exactly what we are all going through... mind, body and soul.
Mag
Mag's picture
if it's not normal
Ally2375...I agree with you...I went through the same emotions in the early stages...it's like detoxification from alcohol/drugs...your body has to purge itself of all the emotional/mental/physical abuse you've been put through...it gets better with time...healing takes time...but you will get through it...