I have suffered through a relationship that I could not make sense of. I have to admit fitting the codependent type so I gave and gave and practically worshipped the ground he walked on. everything was all ok for a while. found myself in love with this person. shortly after expressing those feelings to him he turned on me. he started the name calling and horrible things then apologized blaming it on drunkeness. He was married when we got together. I was as well, but was looking for the means to leave. I did leave and moved. i gave this man everything to only be disappointed so many times...and what i mean by that would make anyone just want to throw up....he ended up filing for divorce from his wife and my life turned into a living hell to put it very mildly. I need to know that other people have experienced what i have. i know im not crazy. i have just been so used i dont know where to try to make sense of anything. im here to validate my certainty of the person that has been the misery of my existence for the last four years of my life.
Please, if someone can, tell me this isn't just something i've gone through.
So the man ive been with for the last four most miserable years of my life likes to frequent bars. in fact, thats his most favorite hobby. if hes not there hes sleeping or at work. so anyway, i decided to call him out on the the reason he goes to bars. i said "youre an attention seeker and you cant get enough attention from women. everytime you go to a bar theres a woman involved one way or another." he told me i was wrong in some unfriendly terms. so these women who he admits having spoken to are suddenly and according to him mysteriously calling his cell phone. i said "see this is exactly what i meant. you go some where and women are calling you." i confronted him on him giving his number out. he said "i didn’t give my number out it must have been someone else in the bar giving it out because i dont do that." so i thought ok thats really high school like, but some of the women he comes across are high schoolish so i let it go one time. it happened three more times. i said "what youre some kind of celebrity that everyone will go to extremes to get your number besides ask you for it?" he said "yes i guess thats the way it is…i cant help what people do when they want to have contact with me." now let me ask you all…how many of you give out someone elses number when they havent told you its ok to do so? and how many of you ask someone else for someone elses number then actually call? if some person i didnt give my number to started calling me i would question it but not him. he sees it as he cant get away from his fans.
also to do with bars...
heres another situation still having to do with the women at the bars he goes to. I said "you go to bars just to see how many women you can get interested in you by trying to pick them up." he said "to be totally honest with you (yeah right like they ever are) i dont have to pick up women. i dont even try. they come to me."
another…i said "you always have to try to be the life of the party and the center of attention." he said "you're wrong i dont have to try."
are they all like this??? do they really think they have a cult following? are they all celebrities in their own mind?
he tells me how much everyone wants to be around him and how much people like him and how this group of people now wants him in their group. i'm sorry but that's something i heard in high school with kids trying to fit into the popular crowd.
he thinks everyone likes him but wont stray from the people that make him feel important. everyone i know that has met him really just doesnt like him or buy into his game. he puts my friends down like theres something wrong with them instead of him. hes been around the same people all his life. new people make him uncomfortable.
are they all like this?