Being pushed over the edge

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#1 Jun 27 - 8PM

whskywmn5

Being pushed over the edge

He is fast succeeding in driving me over the brink of insanity....on top of all the emotional upheavel im dealing with in my life right now....after finally making the escape back to my parents....the tears hardly ever stop....first few days I heard nothing from him, then he was wanting to know what he could do to help work it out....I told him I needed time distance to come to grips with my life right now.....that I wasnt in a good place mentally to make any sort of decisions...he said ok, he would let me have time to deal with things....next day he was distancing himself again....ready for me to be out of his life completely...several days of back and forward....then today....he sent me a text message about how the whole dam world had gone crazy...of course that made me wonder what he was talking about.....then later tonight he sent another text message about how all of his family had betrayed him, how selfish everyone was, but he was going to put a end to that tonight......of course I knew what he was talking about....everytime he got in a mood he would threaten to kill himself.

So what do I do, I pick up phone and call him.....he goes on and on about how everything ends tonight....he got a bottle of booze and he has his pistol and at midnight he is going to kill himself.....then everyone will be sorry about how we treated him, and he will be free of all the people that have set out to destroy him his whole life.....There I am on the phone telling him how much I love him, because I do and probably always will....I know he is sitting there waiting for me to say, dont do it, I will leave right now and drive back there....I couldnt say that.....and now if he does kill himself I will have to live with that the rest of my life....carry another burden that its my fault and I could have stopped him in some way....when the whole time I figure its just another one of his sick demented mind games....but my god what if it isnt and I didnt stop him.....how the hell will I ever be able to carry that burden. I feel as if he is driving me over the edge of insanity and im helpless to stop him. Im about to do something stupid myself so this insanity will go away.

#2 Jun 29 - 5PM

ValiditySeeker

Mine threatened the same

Never happened. But FYI he did RAGE at me and declare that he would "get even" because I chose not to believe that he was really suicidal. I did not allow myself to be manipulated by this liar. I did not take him back. Make sure you tell him that you don't want him to do that because if you don't, you could have hell to pay starting at 12:01. But don't get any further involved than that or go over there. It's hoovering so don't fall for it.

#3 Jun 28 - 6PM

Redhead1

Please just take care of

Please just take care of yourself. Concentrate on whskywmn5. I wouldnt worry about the narc so much, they always come out of thier drama. Mine was flying around like an idiot, had my kids scared to death he was gonna hurt himself. That night he was sexting with the OW and chasing ass the next weekend. Besides, if he hurts himself-that is his responsibility. No one made him do anything, don't let him even TRY to blame you. HUGS

#4 Jun 29 - 2PM (Reply to #23)

Done sourcing

I didn't

create the narc, I can't fix the narc, I don't want the chaos of the narc, and my next relationship is going to be with an adult, not a disordered narc-child!!! He had a phone in one hand , and a gun in the other. What would happen if he got confused and tried to talk into the gun while trying to dial it? Just a thought from my sick twisted sometimes narc infested mind. Bless all narcs, they need it!

#5 Jun 28 - 5PM

Done sourcing

You said, " I feel as if he

You said, " I feel as if he is driving me over the edge of insanity" I say that kind of stuff also, and I heard myself say it one day and realized thatshe may be driving, but I put myself on the bus and at her mercy. Freedom starts with awareness, and I realize I can get off the bus anytime I want. I am not forced there. Only I can get on, and only I can choose to get off. She always was a shitty driver anyway, lol. Done sourcing ( I really am)

#6 Jun 28 - 5PM (Reply to #20)

whskywmn5

LOL mine never drove

HAHA mine would never drive, because if he was doing the driving he couldnt find fault with everything I was doing....Im getting off the bus and staying off.

#7 Jun 28 - 5PM (Reply to #21)

Done sourcing

off the bus

no contact, no response, and no hitch-hiking, lol!

#8 Jun 28 - 8AM

dudette

Whysky

Both my uncle and my best friend committed suicide. For real. They never threatened anyone with it, they just did it. like that.... My N mother threatended suicide all the time when things did not go her way and would make cheap attempts at covering her wrists with big bandages like she had cut them or something.... when I came home from school I never knew what to expect and felt guilty and powerless most of the time. Then her own brother took his own life and she had to stop threatening but she really resented him for stealing her thunder.... mad cow..... Don't fall for the crap. it's just blackmail

#9 Jun 28 - 5PM (Reply to #18)

whskywmn5

Thank you

I know that must have been a horrible way to live each day, never knowing what to expect. Thank you for the words of encouragement.....I will not allow him to blackmail me with my emotions any longer

#10 Jun 28 - 8AM

Hunter

Whsky

Even on the brink of suicide it's all about him! Threatening to kill himself, control! look if he was going to do it he would have! It's his way of sucking you in because you hadthe onions to pick up and leave! A real suicidal person plots plans tells no one until it's too late! Tell him to seek mental health treatment and to leave you alone! This may sound bad but if he did off himself you are off the hook and free as a bird baby! He is bad man! His true self has been figured out by family & friends! Time for you to take care of you! Hunter

#11 Jun 30 - 2AM (Reply to #16)

dudette

Hunter

A real suicidal person plots plans tells no one until it's too late! Tell him to seek mental health treatment and to leave you alone! My experience exactly.....

#12 Jun 28 - 5PM (Reply to #15)

whskywmn5

Yes it was

It seemed to always be about him, my thoughts and opinions never counted in the grand scheme of things. It is awful to say but would almost be a blessing if he did do what he threatened to do. In my head I guess I know its a sick head game he is playing but my heart stopped when he threatened it. Today I deleted a account that I have had for over 7 years, so that is one less way for him to contact me. I denied him on another thing several days ago which didnt go over to well.....of course I must have another man if I dont want him on there talking to me, and destroying my peace of mind

#13 Jun 28 - 8AM (Reply to #14)

Used

whiskeywmn5

IF HE MENT IT HE WOULD HAVE DONE IT...NOT PHONED YOU PATHETIC OLD SOD...NARC ASKED ME TO DO A SUICIDE PACT WITH HIM...I LAUGHED AND SAID ,CANT YOU EVEN DO THAT ALONE...ATTENTION ATTENTION!!!!!!

#14 Jun 28 - 8AM

fooled no longer

forgive me for saying this

forgive me for saying this but the best thing that could happen is that he pulled the trigger. End to a problem they are not people they are problems. unfortuneately Narcs never kill themselves they are too chickenshit scared and gutless and selfish, they need pity, like you and I need air. Here you are beating yourself up about it, and he has defrauded you out of some more feelings while making himself feel comforted that you still love him and care for him. Next time he pulls that trick you tell him sorry butIm dealing with my own problems now and cant talk. you cut off the phone. Then you say to that phone when its hung up. Go on shoot yourself you POS let me make sure its loaded. Make my day, let the cockroach die. Narcs are cockroaches nothing can kill them or stop them, until their bodies wear out. protect yourself change your number, enjoy the peace.

#15 Jun 28 - 4PM (Reply to #12)

Susan32

Slow suicide

There's the saying that in breakups, men drink beer and women cry. I remember saying during the final D&D, "I'm crying. He's drinking beer." The ex-Psych prof was a heavy drinker, and he pigged out on junk food. It's not that Narcs outright kill themselves-they tend to do it slowly, dramatically. Leo Tolstoy was a major Narc-he got pneumonia running away from his wife (after cruelly D&Ding her&their children), and his final days were a media spectacle. Watch "The Last Station." Their were hourly updates on his health condition; Sofia was barred from being at his side. It was a media circus in 1910 before the deaths of Princess Diana and Michael Jackson. Mary Baker Eddy, the founder of Christian Science, died in 1910 as well. She was a histrionic female Narc. The religion she founded eschews medical care, so when she came down from pneumonia, she died from it. She claimed that sinners&"malicious animal magnetism" were ending her life. She was revising "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" to the very end. She wanted CONTROL. She made sure there would be chaos in terms of a successor after she died. My former Narc coworker who's massively obese claimed to have a clean bill of health. Slow suicide through fat.

#16 Jun 28 - 7AM

janine

Carrying that burden

It is sad that when you managed to get away you are back in this turmoil. Guilt and worry drag us down and keep us stuck. My N never threatened to kill himself, but while he was in hospital I did his mail and found a psychiatrist's bill for emergency treatment after a suicide attempt. Each time he created yet another mess in his pathetic life my depressed N would go from bad to worse and talk about how pointless his life was, what a failure he was. Considering that personality disorders come in clusters that may have been the borderline's drama. I guess, your N saying how everyone will be sorry might be hinting at that. Whether it's blackmail or not you MUST stop dealing with him. It's tough when you love somebody. You do not have the power to save him, but you are responsible for saving yourself. There must be some hotline for people about to commit suicide where ever you live. I'd send him a mail with that number making clear this is the final contact and then delete and refuse to take his calls. It helped me to put this in God's hands and I hope you can do this. Should my ex ever kill himself I would feel grief but no responsibility. Hoping that you will be able to take care of yourself instead of him.

#17 Jun 27 - 10PM

empath

the N making suicide threats

You are not responsible for him, his feelings or his actions. If you are seriously concerned for his mental state and concerned that he may kill himself, then call the police and ask them to go over to the house. Be sure to warn the police that the N may be armed so they do not walk into a dangerous situation unprepared, and then let go and let the police take care of the situation. They will take him into custody either voluntarily or involuntarily, if they determine he may be a threat to himself or others, and will have him put in a hospital psychiatric ward for observation for up to 3 days. If there really is something wrong with him, there is nothing you can do to help him...you are not a doctor. If you are concerned for him, then call the police. Let him spend some time in a hospital with access to medication and counseling. If there is a real problem, that will get him the help he needs. If there really isn't a problem and this is just manipulation, this should put a stop to it. Ns behave when there are witnesses. Remind yourself why you need to go NC from this person. Detach and distance yourself from their crazymaking behavior and PLEASE STOP ABSORBING THEIR PROBLEMS AS IF THEY WERE YOUR OWN. You will never heal from being burned if you don't back away from the fire. Get this toxic maniac out of your life completely. You do not have superpowers...you cannot cause or cure his behavior. Save yourself. Go NC and stay NC. Give yourself the total break and space you need from this sick individual. If you go NC, the brainwashing and mind games will wear off and you will be able to get your own sanity back. If you don't go NC and keep this disordered person in your life, they will only take you down with them. Please go NC. You are NOT responsible for him and you are not equipped to "help" or "fix" him, regardless of whether he is a N. or mentally ill, or both. Go NC and focus on getting yourself healed of this insanity. (((hugs)))

#18 Jun 28 - 9AM (Reply to #9)

whskywmn5

Thanks ladies

Thank all of you for replying to my post, it helps to know im not so alone, and your words of comfort do help. As of today no matter what I decided at midnight, that NC goes into effect....im going to delete any thing online that he has any way of contacting me on.....or blocking him if I cant delete it. I have to protect myself at all cost....and my sanity.

#19 Jun 28 - 7AM (Reply to #8)

spinning

wsky, this is

a great, detailed course of action laid out by empath. Please consider it. It is the most compassionate thing to do for YOURSELF and for another human being. empath, this is a great, helpful post. wsky, you have come to far to get mired in the muck. They always behave like this when you pull away. It is so typical and predictable if it weren't so pathetic it'd be funny. You must care for yourself now, wsky, this is the fight of YOUR LIFE, which is WORTH A LOT MORE THAN PAIN AND TORTURE, TEARS AND SLEEPLESS NIGHTS. You are so strong and so smart. Look at what you have accomplished because of the strong spirit inside of you that couldn't be squelched even though her voice became tiny. She still had a voice and you LISTENED and took action so your beautiful loving spirit could thrive. Today is a new day. Please try to have NC with him. If he makes more suicidal threats do what empath suggests and call the police where he lives and ask them to stop by. They do this all the time. It is part of their job. I send you a huge hug and kudos for your bravery. You are remarkable and you deserve some peace. We will help you if we can, wsky. Please continue to post here. Love, (not) spinning. I REJECT ALL CHAOS AND DESTRUCTION. THE SICK FREAK IS DEAD TO ME. NEVER REALLY EXISTED ANYHOW.

spinning

#20 Jun 27 - 9PM

sara-smile

whyskywmn

Don't let him do this to you! PLEASE! You could always call the police and have them go by and check on him if that would make you feel better. THIS IS NOT YOUR BURDEN ANYMORE! He is a sick sick man. He almost destroyed you and he's still trying to do it hundreds of miles away. Quit answering the phone, reading text, emails. Just ignore him! Let his grown children worry about what he's doing. He made this bed for himself now let him lie in it. I'm one of the most compassionate souls on this earth but if he really goes through with it this time LET HIM it will be for ONE REASON! Do you know what that is? To punish YOU! They are sick and everything is a mind game! DON'T LET HIM DO THIS TO YOU! Stay strong and NC! IGNORE HIM! This is your life now. Hugs! Sara

#21 Jun 28 - 7AM (Reply to #6)

whskywmn5

Very sick

I will agree with you Sara that he is very sick....I didnt sleep a wink last night once again...lying in bed wondering if I would be getting a call over the course of the next couple days that he actually followed through on his threat. This is the final straw no matter what.....I can not deal with him or his sick games again.....he is a grown man 62 years old, with plenty of people there to play his games on, im done. If he is alive the next thing he ever hears from me will be when my lawyer contacts him about a divorce....and it may sound crass but if he did follow through then I wont have to be worry about dealing with that when the time comes

#22 Jun 27 - 8PM

Sparrow

How often does he behave like

How often does he behave like this? Is he medicated or has he ever been?

#23 Jun 27 - 9PM (Reply to #2)

whskywmn5

When I was there, he would

When I was there, he would mention it every couple months when he got down and depressed....now im gone and hes there all alone, and no he doesnt take any sort of medication, because he is perfectly healthy and sane its everyone around him that is nuts. His moods are like a roller coaster, up and down.....right no they appear to be really down, or else its the mind game he is playing .....not sure but my god if he was telling the truth right now he would be pulling the trigger

#24 Jun 27 - 9PM (Reply to #3)

Sparrow

He sounds bipolar/paranoid

He sounds bipolar/paranoid schitzophrenic actually. Do you believe he will go through with it? How come he has never done it in the past? Trust your judgement, trust your heart.

#25 Jun 28 - 7AM (Reply to #4)

whskywmn5

Not sure

Im not sure what he is exactly, I know in the beginning of my search online, I took a test as if I was him, I tried to be as honest as I could, he scored extremely high in just about every catergory there was. My judgment is pretty lacking right now....my heart destroyed

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