bettawoman's story

I'm a BETTAWOMAN

So my story goes like this. It was summer 2007, I had been divorced from my high school sweetheart for a year and a few months. We had two great sons together. I had a great job paying excellent money,was in excellent shape, was paying for my first home, traveled.. had freedom... you get the point..the world was mine.

Wellll on one of my many party nights I walked past a table with a drunk man who was very attractive and as I passed him he caught my eye. Conversation was good so I took his number and said I would call him. Well I did and 5 years later, I am still kicking myself. We talked occasionally over the summer and he asked me to fly to NY to hang out with him. I objected the 50 times he asked me at first, but I finally gave in. So relationship goes from casual to sleeping together. He was a great lover but I remember feeling like I should have asked him for cash or a money order afterwards. RED FLAG!!!. By February 08, we were a couple...but only in my mind.Now.. he had kids from previous relationships two from two different moms.. OK i can deal with that. people have kids from previous relationships.. no biggie. THEN.. He called me crying one day and told me he was expecting a baby with a lady he was messing with over the summer and the baby was due in 1 week. I seriously considered cutting my losses at that time but he wined and dined me into staying. Later that month, we went on a fabulous cruise to Mexico.. had a great time. I get back home and I find emails, pictures, videos on MY computer of other women. I asked him if he was still sleeping with his baby's mother.. of course the answer was no. I found summers eve wipes in his bag....stuff like that. Well come to find out I'm pregnant in March 08.He moves from NY to west coast with me. I have mixed feelings but decided to keep the baby. I then found more stuff on MY computer ..he wasn't even careful about it. I asked him again.. he denied and explained away again and I believed it. At one point I found a church program from NJ right around the geographic area that his sons mother lived in. coincidence.. yeah right. I demanded to sepeak to his baby mother to see if they were still screwing around. well He had a female friend call me acting like her and she said .."no .. we talk for the baby and that's it".. LIE. The amount of deception that went into this facade was amazing.

Looking back I realize that when he would suddenly jump up , without warning or planning ahead saying he needed to see his kids in NY what he was really saying was.. I have to go to NY to please my other pieces of ass before they leave me. Makes me sick thinking about it. He would leave me, big belly, and come back when he felt like it. A little later he told me that he had some ethiopian chick pregnant while his sons mom was pregnant so it was a good thing she had a miscarriage. WTF??? Then he proceeded to tell me how beautiful ethiopian and puerto rican woman are and that he couldnt resist them. How delicate and small their noses are and how pretty their hair is. Now Im no Halle Berry but im a curvy, woman mixed with black and asian and I was carrying HIS baby.. sacrificing my body for our child.

Oh I forgot to mention... He didn't work, or help me pay any bills when he moved into my house. I was pregnant working long hours and still had to come home and cook. He also thought I was faking my sickness while I was pregnant, even after the doctor told him I had hyper-emesis... We got married in Sep 08 and I am so so sorry I did. I paid for my own ring .. that should have screamed "DON'T DO IT" but I was madly in love with my abuser.

Anyway.. During the course of my pregnancy, he hit me for the first time.. treated my sons like crap... but I felt like I was stuck already and was really depressed.
He stole money from me. His aunt was suing him for leaving without paying rent in NY when he moved to be with me. SOmething like 1800.00. SO .. me being the caring person I am said, when I get my tax return I will LOAN you the money so you and your aunt can reconcile. He says" ok I will give you the money back". Cool.. Two months later I asked when he would pay me back and he sneered, looked at me and said, "are you stupid".. did you really think I was going to give you the money back... ". UGH I wanted to drop kick him in the throat...

I couldn't take him around any of my attractive friends because he would sit with his mouth open and talk about her booty or body.. whatever.

He slowly isolated me from my friends and family. All while living his double, triple life. I found pics of so many women on my laptop.. but he put a keylogger program on it to monitor ME... He stole things or hid them.

I had to call the police after he broke my phone for the umpteenth time. not to mention hitting me in my head and ribs so no one could see the bruises. His mother, bless her simple ignorant soul.. asked me why I called the cops.. why didnt I just let him leave the house. Of course he told her I WAS CRAZY and the emotional wreck. His sister thought I was bad for putting him in jail... so we can see the tree bears rotten fruit. I was so broken, insecure and financially ruined (bankruptcy) by the time he was done with me. As we were getting divorced he would come to my house begging for another chance.. that was on a Thursday.. so after thinking about it I went to his apartment on Saturday (after I just got off the phone with him) and he answered the door, quickly closing it behind him. WHAT DO YOU KNOW... a bar ho that he was so diligently f@@*ing before I showed up comes outside as he is throwing me against the wall and says " what's going on here?".. I was dragged down three flights of stairs in front of a piece of new ass because I had caught him yet again...

I dont know how I made it home that night.. driving like a banshee out of hell.. crying my eyes out because I was treated like I did something wrong.. drug down the stairs like trash. HERE Is the KICKER.. he texts me later that night and said "see what you did... she left right after you did and now I have to start over"... WTF... I stayed in the fetal position for three days.

Anyway over a period of three years he would suck me in... spit me out.. over and over. But this last time I was so desperate to prove I was a good woman that I left my job, sons, family to move with him on the east coast. BIGGEST MISTAKE of my life.

It was a "I got you now little birdie" moment. Because I had to rely on him, he was on a control high. Kicking me out.. taking the care keys away.. kicking me out.. again and again.
It wasnt until recently I found out that he hid the fact that we were married and had a daughter from his baby mothers. He said he didnt want to hurt her feelings. So now I see why his family treated me and my child like a bastard. figures.

I realized that he really probably "loved" her.. but he could get more out of me. I had more for him to leech off of. In a way, his sons mother was spared the drama. She is a uneducated, poor, materialistic person..so in her eyes .. he was a godsend..exactly what a Narc needs to feed his ego. I on the other hand fed his needs by giving without his deserving.

Well baby momma has no idea that he was dirty sticking alot of other woman besides me. AND I was the one he was married too..

His sense of entitlement and flawless character is comical almost. I can read him so well now. He is an empty shell.

Every breath he takes and move he makes is 1.) all an act to receive praise or 2.) all an act to make himself look like the normal human being that he ISN'T.
People don't really know the devil under the mask. He is 41.. and asks people if they think he is good looking.. or if they like his motorcycle .. or his shoes ..blah blah blah.. hes is so smart.. women will always want him.. blah. His older son , poor thing, will be 20 when he graduates from high school but as long as he is handsome that's all that matters.. that is according to his dad. What a complete and utter waste of life. He has no respect for women including his mother and sister but they continue to coddle him like a newborn baby. YUCK. I just threw up again...

More importantly though , out of all this I can read myself better. I had to look at why I allowed someone to sh#t all over me again and again. Issues that I work to overcome and outgrow. So now I have moved out, am 4 weeks away from my bachelors and having my sons for the summer. I deal with anger more than any emotions at this point. ANger with myself and him. Luckily I have a few friends who are supportive and loving. Anyway

Here I am sick to my soul of this life. I know I can do better so I have to get through this. I know there is someone better for me on the other side.