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A Boundary/Trigger Issue

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#1 Nov 29 - 12AM
Anonymous (not verified)
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A Boundary/Trigger Issue

So there isn't enought shit on my plate and I'd be a bad person, no, a crazy person - better yet I'll be personality disordered for having an attitude problem. I'm at the point now where I think we just need to create a commune, and swear off the rest of the world!

If you have a problem with profanity, you might want to leave now.

For those of you not faint of heart - I have always been and always will be STRICTLY DICKLY. So of course, what gets thrown in the mix? An old high school aquantance that has as of late befriended me. She is a lesbian...that's not a crime, but I thought I made it clear enough that I'm into guys...I'm not curious, I'm not flippin that's it.

So...what does she do? First, she made a comment about how sexy my pic was - okay, some of my female friends did to. She put a little more emphasis on it but I laughed it off. Tonight we're talking on the phone and I told her I had to take off my sweater to hold on I wanted to change into a tee shirt to go cook and she says: You're lucky there is no camera on your phone. WTF!!! And of course, instead of stopping her right there I kinda laughed it off because I DID NOT WANT TO OFFEND HER!!! WTF!? WTF!? WTF!?

So, I know she needs to be told about this - but how? And thinking maybe I need to cut this friendship completely - certainly she has other things in mind and if she thinks like a guy or whatever what's the difference?

I'm so fucking pissed.

Suggestions....

Nov 29 - 4AM
Briseis
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Just like with ANY unwanted

Just like with ANY unwanted attention, you say "I've made it clear that I'm not interested in that way. Are you deaf??" Oh, OK. Maybe a little more diplomatically. Ahem. "If there was a camera on my phone I would be flipping you the bird and then you'd see my finger pushing END." Wait, that was the sarcastic button. Unwanted attention is unwanted attention. No means no. She's ignoring your "no". That's a red flag. And you not wanting to "hurt her feelings"?? Another damn red flag. Your gut is telling you SOMETHING important here. You stated a boundary and she stepped right over it. If you are worrying that you were perhaps not clear enough, then consider that she is either stupid or doesn't care what YOU want, just what she wants. Ick. Doesn't need a "dickly" to be ickly. Sleaze is sleaze. Sorry about the new "unfriend" :(
Nov 29 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
blueeyes
blueeyes's picture

Another one

Bites the dust Michelle. Don't respond to her anymore and if she persists and askd why? Tell her you didn't appreciate her ignoring your boundaries. She will defiantly either back off or look at her actions and apologize. Either way, I would not have her as a friend. A real true friend doesn't trigger you. I'm sorry :( It does get lonely when we build our wall.