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Can narcissists be alone?

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#1 Sep 29 - 2AM
dulcinea441
dulcinea441's picture

Can narcissists be alone?

Thinking back, it seems like my ex was always running from one thing to another, that he never spent an afternoon or evening alone by himself. Me, I'm quite capable of spending hours in perfect solitude, but that didn't seem to be the case with him at all.

We already know that N's spend all their time chasing after supply, but even when they have a partner in their lives, they can't seem to let them out of their sight for a moment, unless they have more than one affair going on.

I wonder if it's too painful for them to be left alone with their own thoughts, or if they're incapable of dealing with the silence of only their own company...perhaps they might come uncomfortably close to having a moment of introspection, and, we all know, they CAN'T have that.

Sep 29 - 10AM
needing2know
needing2know's picture

my ex cannot stand the quiet!

my ex cannot stand the quiet! he always told me he hates being at home by himself.
Sep 29 - 9AM
Layla
Layla's picture

Hunter is right!

Constant attention.........just like a two year old.....except two year olds are cute and innocent, these abusers are just assclowns. love~ Layla
Sep 29 - 8AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

No, they need constant

No, they need constant attention!! Hunter
Sep 29 - 7AM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

I agree

with Sea, mine is alone and lives alone in a a tiny town ,watches TV, reads alot, to while away his life as he is retired with all the time on his hands..sad and pathetic, and still no introspection
Sep 29 - 8AM (Reply to #11)
Sea
Sea's picture

OWML

I read your posts and I really think my exN will be like your exN when he retires. Just a feeling no specific reasons behind it.
Sep 29 - 6AM
Sea
Sea's picture

Yes alone but occupied

My exN can be alone but he has to be occupied in working, watching tv etc. Maybe the work and tv or internet is the NS. Dont think he can be alone and doing nothing and thinking deeply. He will go mad doing that.
Sep 29 - 6AM
TNR1
TNR1's picture

Mr. N once told me he could

Mr. N once told me he could not be alone.
Sep 29 - 8AM (Reply to #8)
Unfreakinreal
Unfreakinreal's picture

Mine too...

Told me all the time. One of the things he said was wrong with me was that I didn't do enough with my spare time. Of which I have approximately 45 minutes of per day... He did everything he could not to spend time alone and when he was forced to have an evening by himself, he would drink and call anyone he could to have someone to talk to. Pathetic really.
Sep 29 - 3AM
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

Alone...YES

Mine was able to be alone,but he works on a job that requires that he has contct with the tennents from the high rise he works in(Housing Authority)He does re furbshing appartments,maintenance .etc...Even fro animals he gets supply from...sometime ago he said a cat at his work place only follows him during work,never other co workers...he said ,the cat is in love with me,is a pussy...he even took a picture of it and sent it to me...After my D&D i really do believe he had some substitutes for me...But i do not think it woked well,because he was complaining about a month ago that nobody can put up with him,and that he decided to stay alone,because he do not do well in relationships and another relationship would only end as we did....Yesterday he sent me an email thanking me for not sening a bunch of emails to him...and that he is very busy lately at work and is very tired....Let the games begin...but not for me...oh and he said see ya later...and all this happenned after he going NC on me 2 and a half years ago,changing his cell number,telling me he wish i would throw myself under a trai,get lobotomized i was an ugly bitch and a sorceress...he never would contact me again,he rather die..I LIVE IN Europe he in the USA....I do believe that he can be alone (phisically) but always need a form of supply...co workers ,animals,objects,etc...or watching Porn or Gaming...mine isn't financially ok,so he has to do with the little resources he has...Lately he became a Grandad at 44,so i think that is where he is getting his supply nowadays...his children and grandchildren...He lives alone...and now i believe trying to get soe supply from me....HUGHS...

Aceonelady

Sep 29 - 3AM
Puzzle
Puzzle's picture

Mine loved being alone so he

Mine loved being alone so he could hibernate too and sit on the couch watch football and have no one hassle him. But being alone without supply...nope. As long as he knew he had supply he could be alone. I'm not sure what he is like now he is single. Mine jumped from relationship to relationship....yet stressed he didn't want to be tied down. I don't think they can be without a girlfriend for too long. Mine used to say "I hate being single" yet he was a walking contradiction as he wanted to live the single life.
Sep 29 - 8AM (Reply to #5)
StudentOfLife
StudentOfLife's picture

Walking contradictions....

They are ALL "walking contradictions"!! Mine needed constant attention from me, good or bad, had to keep tabs on me and feel in control at all time. Before me, when i wasn't around, he had attention from many women, using his shallow charisma to hook them... and well, you know the rest of the routine.... They can't stand to be alone with their thoughts. He was always going in fast motion, could never relax. Relaxation required ritual for him. Workaholic, always planning every last minute of our time together. (It was truly exhausting.)
Sep 29 - 3AM
ifinallygotit
ifinallygotit's picture

Mine could be alone

He could hibernate alone, happily. He was broke so he would hunker down and then go flash around with his rich old friends when they came through town. When he had an old beat up car he refused to take me to airport (bad for image) When he had new shiny car always took me to airport (good for image) He could hide out alone when broke as it was bad for his image. Even when broke he was insanely popular with lots of friends wanting to hang with him (partly because he was fun and he used to be famous so they liked being around him) I think he was depressed and spent time alone but never could talk about it. He is reliving his fame now so I doubt he spends much time alone - probably out being recognized alot - he does alot of celeb appearances now - that must make him feel resurrected!
Sep 29 - 3AM
freaked
freaked's picture

Dulcinea, we have to begin to

Dulcinea, we have to begin to understand that they are a different genus and we must not apply human standards of measurement in any sphere connected with them. why do you care whether they can be alone or not?? I used to also think along such lines and wasted my time. Just accept the fact that they are queer beings. just because they look like us and dress like us...doesn't make them same as us. remember they have a thick skull which hides their damaged brain. CT Scans by Neuroscientists are available if you want Proof. Today, for the first ever time in 20+ years...i have understood that i am standing on a burning deck and that when i do escape... there is no sense of even thinking of all the material possessions i will have to just forget about.
Sep 29 - 3AM
silly
silly's picture

i don't believe they can.

i don't believe they can. mine needed me there all the time. if i couldn't answer the phone straight away - i would cop it.. if i was late from work - i would get yelled at because i was waiting.. he wanted me to leave work early because of him.. take days off for him.. and then he would tell me that his x girlfriend thought bad things of me... if i was with my family -- he would say that i put my family before him... now he has an OW and she's doing everything for him