Crawling out of the darkness from a stealth narcissist.

Has anybody had experience with what I would call a stealth narcissist?? My H’s abuse over the past 24 years has been an ambient type of abuse that does not fall into the “typical” overt type of abuse that is often described in these posts. His abuse has been (and still is) so subtle and insidious that I was unable to recognize/identify it for the best part of my married life. He is a good provider, has a fabulous job (career) that provides him with a high income, respect and status, is a respected member of our community, a voluntary member of service organization, does not lie, does not cheat, is not physically violent and highly intelligent (++). The only outwardly hint of his N is that he is excessively arrogant. All of his exemplary behavior serves him well since he revels in the admiration and adoration that he consistently receives. Underneath this public façade of perfection however is a man who can do no wrong, is volatile, overreactive and verbally aggressive, is impatient and intolerant, argumentative, who puts his needs before everything else, is unable to connect on an emotional level and reciprocate feelings, frequently has verbal rages, always dismisses the needs of others (children, me, etc), has no empathy and effectively navigates his way through life by controlling and dominating. To the outside world he looks like a saint. Over the years I have unconsciously adapted my behaviors to serve and please him and to try and keep him happy to avert the verbal rages. Our marriage is superficial and we are not connected in any way. He has effectively eroded my sense of self by using every psychological trick in the book and yet everyone thinks our marriage is great and he is a wonderful magnanimous person. I hit rock bottom around 12 months ago and suddenly realized what he was and what was happening. I can now see that every choice, decision, preference etc was his and that I have enabled his superiority. He has achieved his goal of psychologically weakening me making me over dependent on him. It has been a tough realization to acknowledge that you have been used and abused by the person who is supposed to love you. I am now just beginning my journey to find my true self.