1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. All About Him Forum
  5. Day 8 and its getting harder not easier..

Day 8 and its getting harder not easier..

12 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Feb 6 - 2AM
Snowflake
Snowflake's picture

Day 8 and its getting harder not easier..

I am not going to break but its so damn hard, why does it feel harder not easier?

Why does it feel like I have lost the love of my life?

Just feels really bad today, feelling all sick inside and like I want to curl up under my duvet, the positive words I spoke just feel a million miles away today x

Feb 6 - 9AM
Snowflake
Snowflake's picture

Thanks girls

Resisted the urge to contact..it meant eating a pepperoni pizza and two apple corners mind...
Feb 6 - 9AM (Reply to #10)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

What ever it takes.. Hunter

What ever it takes.. Hunter
Feb 6 - 9AM (Reply to #11)
Snowflake
Snowflake's picture

Yes Hunter

I feel weight gain is the lesser of two evils :)
Feb 6 - 8AM
neverlookback
neverlookback's picture

This is normal

It will get harder in fact it got harder for me after a month- you did not walk away from love or anything close to it - be thankful your exposure to this disordered person was not longer - it hurts to detox and withdraw from what SEEMED like the love of your life, get that notion out of your head that you lost your true love - trust me you didnt!!!!! You will have bad days like this expect it and go with it dont fight it - your healing and the healing hurts x0
Feb 6 - 7AM
janemarie
janemarie's picture

You have to get "over the

You have to get "over the hump" and once you do it WILL get easier.... And he was NOT the love of your life....loves of your life DO NOT ABUSE!!!!!!!! Remember the bad....keep busy...focus on the goal...YOU!!!! All of this will help you get "over the hump" KEEP NC!!! Youre doing great!! xoxo
Feb 6 - 4AM
Winter
Winter's picture

Snowflake

It will feel harder and harder for a while. Please, be ready. First 3 months will be very hard. There is nothing you can do about but to cope with it. I know how much pain it does cause. Just hang on here, vent, share you feelings with us. It will pass, it will honey. Love Winter
Feb 6 - 6AM (Reply to #5)
Snowflake
Snowflake's picture

Thank you all

Its crazy, I mean I was only with him 6 months..thats nothing compared to some on here, I should be able tobrush it off, I just feel so frustrated with myself..how is it someone can just get under your skin...like a scabie (smiling ) x
Feb 6 - 9AM (Reply to #6)
StarLight (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I was only with mine for 8

I was only with mine for 8 months. Time has nothing to do with it. I felt EXACTLY what you are feeling. I curled up in pain. I cried until I was sick. I truly thought he was my soul~mate. Now 7 years later and after a long path and lots of garbage, the tears have dried. I no longer feel as though I am going insane. I realize now that he was an empty kettle. It wasn't Love on his part at all. I had to learn this and so you will, too. It's the Path. Keep moving. And Growing. Blessings. StarLight
Feb 6 - 3AM
JRB123
JRB123's picture

It is hard

It really is tough but hang on in there! Keep coming here for support and strength, we are here for you. I am about 18 months no contact and seriously feel like I'm coming out of the other side. At times I felt like I was having a mental breakdown, such was the damage they inflict. Remember with Ns they create the perfect illusion of being the perfect man to you but that's all it is - an illusion! We fell for the false self and the reality is different and seriously are lives will be much better without the 'real true self' of the Ns. The real them has an inability to care for anyone else other than themselves. They seriously just do not care - it is all about them! It's so tough and I know what you're feeling. I really felt like I'd met a soul mate and then like it was being torn apart. But now with hindsight I see it was just a con. I had an obsession with him and I have observed him since doing exactly the same with other people, in fact I see him now chasing his new supply (yet again!). It takes a while for the reality of who you think they are and who they really are to catch up and cognitive dissonance may happen because of this. Please be as strong as you can, there is a better life out there for you. I also now don't believe in 'the one' anymore - I think there are many possibilities tied in with chance, luck and situations! It might not seem like it but there will be others for you in the future who will truly enhance your life. We only have one life, and it's short, don't waste it on narcs! It will be a mental battle for you but one worth fighting for.
Feb 6 - 3AM (Reply to #2)
Snowflake
Snowflake's picture

Thank you

I just want 'him' so badly today, I am not going to cave but it helps me to post honestly here. I wont cave because: 1. With my N you never get the reaction you imagine you will get and that hurts more. 2. I d'd him so I am hoping that when I am over this that means I gave him a big f you. For all those times he said..you will be back, you want me, you cant resist and you make me laugh. 3. Because I want it to end and breaking NC means I start all over again. x
Feb 6 - 11AM (Reply to #3)
Gso88
Gso88's picture

You don't want "him" you want

You don't want "him" you want the feeling you had while you thought it was normal! Get "him" out of the picture completely! There was no good there, there won't ever be good there for the rest of his existence. You will heal, learn and grow from all of this, and when you do so you will find those feelings of happiness, love, and that connection with a normal, decent, caring human being, not some empty shell that calls himself a man. Head up, chin up, and smile while thinking, knowing and BELIEVING this will get better. Soon you won't even have to think about it, that smile is contagious and will just be there naturally!