Detaching with love, it's not for everyone
Detaching with love, it's not for everyone
Hi everyone,
I just wanted to say that none of our exes ASKED to be afflicted with their personality disorder. Yes, they DO things that hurt us and yes, they are sick. However, research shows that personality disorders develop from infancy through approximately age 7. And more often than not, it's not a genetic thing, it's because the child was abused and/or neglected, or maybe the child received too much attention, etc. Either way, an infant or child does not ask to be disordered. And I myself feel extremely lucky that I am not afflicted with something so horrible.
So even though I was very angry at the start of my recovery, and went through the PTSD, and struggled with cognitive dissonance, at least I'm emotionally healthy again. Whereas my ex will suffer with his disorder for the rest of his days. That is why, for me, I do feel sorry for him, to a point. I am able to recover from being used and abused, gaslighted, devalued and discarded, etc. However, he will NEVER recover from whatever abuse he may have gone through as a child.
So will I ever abandon him completely? Nope. I'll always be his friend. Of course, we cannot be close friends, because then it's bad for me; but I will always be his distant friend, and take pleasure in knowing that having my friendship makes him feel good. Like I said, he didn't ask for the disorder, but he certainly has to live with it. I can walk away from him, but he cannot walk away from his PD. So personally, for me, detaching with love works. It just took me a while to get to this point. I did have to do the NC thing for quite some time, in order for me to heal enough to get to "detaching with love."
Again, this works for me, and only with him. There are others whom I have no love for anymore. Can you say "detaching with hate?" LOL
Love & light to you all! ♥
Love
That was a great
Its been said
Totally with you
"I am not a fan of the school
I agree with you
NO THANKS
Not taking things personally
Suze ^^^^
neverlookback, ditto to
neverlookback
victimnomore
Neverlookback
neverlookback
Cougar Babe
Yes CB i totally get what you
I totally relate to this
Goldie, GREAT post and well
I agree
Cougarbabe
Being distant friends with the Ex Narc
Wisernow30
victimnomore