Did they steal your possessions

Of course he stole from me! He took $ from my purse and I went nuts looking for it because I knew I had gone to the ATM machine and that I had bought nothing since then. He kept commenting that it was just gone. Then he later "remembered" that I had dropped it out of my wallet (closed inside my zipped purse ) and he picked if up and he must have just forgotten to tell me. Gaslight much? He also stole $ out of a card jis mother got me for graduation, food off my plate, music, lotion, lip balm. When I told him that I knew he had my music and he needed to return it. He said that no, I absolutely could NOT get it back as it was now his. His gall was astounding. Former college roommate stole clothing, make-up, used my hairdryer, shampoo, rollers, etc. Her things were absolutely off limits.

With Ns/Ps, if it's valuable to you, they WANT it. If it's not that important (or you pretend it's not that important), they don't bother. Ns/Ps thrive on envy. The ex-Psych prof envied my love of music, that I liked music at all. He'd say that if I married him, I'd have to give up my music collection. That didn't happen. He'd zone out during concerts. There was a total disconnect. He freaked when I joked about turning his beloved "War and Peace" into a musical (thank God for Lady GaGa, Ke$ha, Katy Perry&Madonna) He'd say "When you come of age, you will no longer sing." It's because in "War and Peace",Natasha gives up singing after the psychopathic Anatole D&Ds her (along with her cerebral Narc fiance Prince Andrei), then renounces music permanently after marrying Pierre&bearing his children. He saw my love of life. He'd say "I will rob you of your love of life." He wanted to take away my belief in God, my spirituality, my Catholicism. Above all... he wanted to rob me of my sense of humor. But he got OWNED at the senior skit when it mocked him. He was a profoundly humorless guy;he liked pretending to have a sense of humor by recounting SIMPSONS episodes. I fought for my sense of humor as if my life depended on it. To quote the late, great Patrick Swayze, "Don't put baby in the corner."

xN was a convicted felon, for stealing peoples IDENTITIES ( now aint that funny?), and their debit cards, he even had a record in FRAUD, FRAUD, FRAUD. Because they are all just a fraud. I stayed with him after that, because he convinced me that it was a "friend" of his that got him caught up in such a deal. Mind you, he was lavishing me with expensive gifts, just like the devil. And I was BLINDED. Also, I noticed (towards the end)lots of my personal belongings missing, especially gifts other people gave me. Jealous bastard. I think he was misplacing things, to make me feel like I was losing my mind. They are sick ciminals.

When he came to get his things out of the house he took my stoneware that I got at my bridal shower, but I didn't ask for it back because it just isn't worth the effort with him. He also posted a picture of our lawnmower on craigslist one day while I was at work and sold it without my knowledge...and no I didn't get any money out of it he took it all and spent it probably on cigarettes and beer.

My first xnh stole lots of things from me. Yes, sad to say, I'm a "slow learner" and have married two of these jerks. He stole all of my record albums (but NONE of his own) and sold them while I was at work one day. His lame excuse was that HE was short on money. My comment, at the time, was that he needed to get off his lazy butt and get a job, if he's so short. He also needed to sell his OWN crap because my stuff is NOT for sale. This same xnh also repeatedly gave away my clothing that HE didn't like to Good Will. I'd go to get dressed in the mornings and half of my closet would be "missing". I was continually finding my personal things absent with him. My first xnh, also, actively tried to destroy anything I cared about. He left my horse injured after she stepped on a nail in the pasture, and had badly punctured the frog in her hoof. She'd needed a vet immediately. When I confronted him, he told me the owner of the pasture had left a note on our door about it several days before, but HE didn't think it was "important" so he threw it away. The horse was laid up for several months with an infection from the nail wound. I've always felt my first xnh had been deliberately trying to ensure the horse would be so bad before I found her that she'd have to be euthanized. He hated her (and anything else that was mine, and out of his control). My horse was not a pawn for his little games. She was a living, breathing, feeling animal that needed help. Incidentally, his little ploy didn't work. I nursed the horse through it, and when I divorced him, the horse went with me into my future life. HE didn't. My horse and I had a wonderful, happy life together for 17 years after he was long gone. :) My second xnh didn't really outright steal my stuff (mostly). He just let his kids and dog steal/destroy my things, and then blasted me for being "unreasonable" when I complained or tried to stop it. However, his oldest hideous P daughter did steal my things. She took a bunch of my CD's on a train trip without my permission. She left them all out on the train seat where the other kids stepped on them, and whatever wasn't damaged got stolen. I, also, repeatedly found my books, that she'd taken without asking, and "discovered" them all bent and wadded up in the back of her closet. When I'd say something, xnh would defend his daughter and tell ME, "It's ONLY a book. It REALLY doesn't matter." He never corrected his daughter about her behavior. Ever. The little princess was allowed to destroy/steal whatever of my things she wished. In addition, xnh's dog ripped up an entire shelf of my books one day while I was at work (about 20 books). Xnh threw the shredded books into trash to "hide the evidence", and did not tell me. I found them in the garbage can after I noticed an entire shelf of my books missing. The dog, also, ripped up the flooring in my entire mud room, and gnawed the corner off my coffee table and one book case. Once again, it's kind of hard NOT to notice these things. Whenever I would confront xnh with any of this, his response was, "They're JUST kids/dogs. It happens. Big deal." Now, if any of this type of thing happened to HIS stuff, the story was entirely different. Xnh would go into such a huge rage that I swear there was cloud of blue smoke hanging over the house for weeks. Theft/destruction didn't matter when it was MY possessions only. If something happened to HIS crap, the world was surely going to explode and tilt on it's axis. lol. These narcs have absolutely no boundaries or respect for anything. If they want to steal and sell your possessions for their own benefit, they do it. If something of yours is destroyed, they simply do not care. Just like us, our possessions mean NOTHING to the narc. We're ALL merely objects to them. However, this behavior really hurts, if you happen to be the recipient.

Mine stole money all the time but from other people we know then tried to blame me for it . It was Gaslighing at its extreem . They will steal , lie and cheat their way through life and think nothing of it . xx

Ex-H never stole anything material from me. He was not at the low-life end of the continuum, and that would really have been damaging besides to his image! But far worse is that he stole my time, and tried to steal me from myself. Hermes

My girlfriend's exN took so much from her it's scary but it's amazing to see her coming back to life again rediscovering the person she was before he broke her down. He has left her with so much debt it's insane, he's taken many many material things as well (all stuff she bought) just because he feels entitled to everything without having to work or pay for it. I'm the new partner (well we've been together for two years now but still) of the N's victim and I found this site looking for advise on how to help my girlfriend and her kids get through all of this. I knew the N we were good friends but eventually I had to listen to the voice inside me saying this guy is a phony and is dangerous. I mean come on who sits on the couch all day in front of a pc and then when your wife gets home from work you still demand things while she is worried about buying food for the kids for the next week???? He did not work or support his family for over 10 years all the while sleeping on the couch whilst my girlfriend worked and ran up debts to simply keep the family alive. What an asshole... aside from the physical abuse he really really damaged her, but she has come a long way since leaving him. He hoovered the hell out of her when she moved out and in with me and to be honest I am amazed she didn't cave (more so that he didn't win coz he was trying his best to break us up as well), her and I of course had many many fights but after finding this site and others like it I have come to understand more of what she is going through like the CD and traumatic bonding etc. I just wish with all my heart and soul I could take all the hurt and pain away and it really sucks that I can't. Now we are stuck with the credit card bills (he does not pay a cent towards child support and still acts like he is a god - seriously WTF - but like I said to her the other day ultimately she is the winner, every bill she pays every day she makes it further out of his grasp with every little steps she wins and reclaims herself. That's my two cents... today was a rough day for both of us so I had to let it out somewhere...

when he left my place he took some different things that were mine, once after that when i hooked back up with him, i saw something of mine at his place and innocently asked where he got it, believe he said a flea market, their minds are so sick they believe their lies to be the truth, I let it go, to 'keep' him.Now i realize I should have asked for it back.

he stole my cell phone my old one with a bunch of numbers in it had a extra key to my car i had been asking him millions of times about and he said he didnt know where the spare went he stole video games and dvds saying that he bought them and since this D&D i LOST all my belongings ALL of what i owned

Mine would take my debit card or gas card all the time without telling me! I would look for it and would panic! I would call him and lo and behold he had it! On a vacation my parents took us on he stole my debit card and gambled 200 on it! Of course he didn't tell me! Yes! He gave me what little money he made! I made double but it all went to bills! The point is he lied about it all! Also, after his divorce he let everyone of his bills go and had his truck confiscated! He felt like I owed him something cause he contributed his cookie crumbs! I bought my own house and car! I wasn't going to let him ruin that for me!

He took whatever he wanted when he wanted he didn't care! Including sex.

the creep stole my jewelry. Money would get stolen all the time and then i started locking stuff. only years later... i discovered that he was the burglar. by then it was too late as nearly everything was gone. it is a nightmare here for me. i would add that the biggest theft of all was he stole my peace of mind, my sanity, my self esteem, confidence...every ounce of the human being i used to be...and turned me into a stray dog kind of creature now. available for kicking around because i am given morsels of sustenance. ugh.

Don't even get me started on this subject! ExN#1 told me if I was so miserable with him that I could just move out. So I surprised him and did so but he refused to let me take anything with me except my clothing and personal items. He ended up selling most of my stuff at a garage sale with OW. Fast forward 5 years to stbxN - he changed the locks and kept all of my stuff. The kids and I ended up in a shelter, moved in to an apartment with almost nothing and he's ended up in court 3 times so far as I slowly but surely get it all back. I agree that if it means something to us they will surely keep it. Just more control and manipulation which they so dearly love.

They take it. If it doesn't mean anything to you, then they don't go for it. My former Narc boss liked telling me how he couldn't sub for me on the day of my sister's wedding, because he was catering at a wedding that day. I knew he couldn't work for me, I got it, but he LOVED rubbing it in... because he knew that day was important to me. The ex-Psych considered "War and Peace" important;his idol, Leo Tolstoy, famously said of it to a friend,"I love my wife less than my novel." The ex-P "stole" his fave novel by keeping it from being on the reading list when I was a senior. Don't worry, I've got my own copy, I can read it whenever I want ;))) The ex-P thought that if I read "War and Peace",I would be "stealing" his most prized possession. It was his precious. I don't see how reading a book is "stealing",IMHO. It's not like I took his copy! But I had the same translation as him;he blanched and blenched.

Some will steal if they have a drug habit or they aren't well off enough to provide for themselves. Remember, they lack empathy and they don't care about you. If they want it, it's theirs for the taking. They will steal from their own grandmother's if they are in need of cash. Also, narcissism in on a continuum, some are "worse off" than others or possess another cluster B (like AsPD) which makes them even worse and capable of anything. If these clowns will lie, cheat, abuse, spew vile bullshit at you, etc....what would stealing be to them? Nothing! They don't care, they just look out for themselves in all things. They are NOT honest about anything unless it suits them to be. love~ Layla

The N never took stuff from me. That would have been easier to deal with. Instead he just took my time, my affection, my ability to make rational decisions, etc. Not meaning to make light of your loss...just thinking about much easier it would have been for all of us, if they had limited their looting and pillaging to just material things.