Do Narcissists know that they are narcissists?

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#1 Jul 13 - 9AM
Goldie
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Do Narcissists know that they are narcissists?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/scott-barry-kaufman/do-narcissists-know-th...

According to this particular research, they do. I always thought they did. The ones I have been with know it and embrace it as the article states. The only ones who seems to struggle with the truth are addict Narcs. They "know" that they are superior beings, even when they are living in the gutter, yet they amazingly are in complete denial regarding their addictions.

The article also states that they do NOT change unless it benefits them from a self promoting level. This certainly validates all that we have learned on here and as Lisa states in her first book, her husband TOLD her he was a Narc.

Therefore, if they know they are Narcs, they embrace it, and they have no particular need or desire to change, then:

WE need to look good and hard at these facts.

What is the need to stay with someone who cause you to suffer over and over again?

Let go of the notion that they are ever going to change or get better, it rarely or never happens.

Realize that there is someone out there much better than this whom we can actually ENJOY life with; intead of the constant pain, lies, manipulation, and mind games.

What is keeping us stuck?

What more do we really need to know?

What can we do to change the thing in us which keeps us going back or keeps us blaming ourselves for this horrific failed relationship?

The Steps of recovery and sharing what it is in us which wants them so badly?

What can we do to stop the insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.

I was prompted to write this over the background check post. I have checked all of their backgrounds and apparently it made no difference; I still was hooked until I had had enough. No ammount of information about them, the OW, their pathetic pasts, seems to be the key to getting away from them. The key appears to lie in self love, self worth, and as they say in AA; just getting sick and tired of being sick and tired and one day you just wake up and say: THIS IS IT; I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!!

It is NOT your fault.

You did not cause or create this.

They were sick LONG before YOU came alone and will remain sick long after you are gone.

The OW does NOT have a better time of it than we did. If anything they only get worse with each new failed relationship; they don't learn and grow from their mistakes like "healthy" people do they simply become better cons.

When I first met my last Narc; I was lonely and broken over something else and he leaped on the opportunity to lure me in and I never saw it coming until I was hooked.

The truth of the matter is that he is no damn good and why would I want such a sick twisted element in my life?

It has taken me months to at long last realize and accept that they know they are Narcs, they have NO desire to change, and they will continue to create havoc and destruction wherever they go and YES: THIS WAS NOT MY FAULT. No matter WHAT they say and it is all a con to keep us down. WE are NOT less than; if anything we are morethan. They just love to keep us down so we lose site of our true potential for life, living, and attracting healthy loving people into our lives.

God bless,
Goldie

Jul 14 - 11AM
greengirl91
greengirl91's picture

They do, they do..do things

They do, they do..do things consciously and knowing they are evil. With a smile on their faces possibly. And a clear conscience after, laughing that they got away with it one more time. I don`t know who they hate so much, but possibly their parents, or in most cases their crazy mothers. They are not normal and can`t be "fixed", even though may give the impression for a moment that they do change. It`s ironic that they have so many faces, but in the end they don`t feel loved by being themselfs. Because it`s impossible to have a healthy relationship with one who creates his own abandonment..
Jul 14 - 11AM
greengirl91
greengirl91's picture

duplicate

xoxox
Jul 13 - 11AM
ValiditySeeker
ValiditySeeker's picture

Mine

Never acted like he thought it was his fault. His lips and tongue were unable to form the words, I'm sorry. He never said it. He just argued that what he had done was okay. He couldn't apologize for wrongdoings if he couldn't accept that it was in fact, wrong to do in the first place. Shoplifting is okay. Taking my things without asking is okay. Refusing to return them- its fine. An hour and a half late for a date without calling? Boy, am I sensitive! There's nothing wrong with that! Didn't I know he had stuff to do? Who do I think I am? And what about all the stuff I have done? Like uhm, uh, well I'm not perfect. On and on. No apologies. No acknowledgments. He dumped me on account of not being good enough for him. I think he truly believes that. He is so severely narcissistic and defensive that he refuses to see himself. All he can do is point put the flaws of others. You know, how I never polished my nails and all that. What a horrible girlfriend I am. I guess it depends on where they are on the spectrum. Maybe a few have moments of clarity. But not mine.
Jul 13 - 10AM
Used
Used's picture

GOLDIE

I AGREE WITH ALL YOU HAVE WRITTEN....EXN DEFINATLY KNEW HE WAS SOMETHING...LOL..NARCISSISM IS NOT REALY THAT WELL KNOWN IN UK...BUT HAS BECOME SO THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS... THAT SAID, MY NARC USED TO SCREAM ON THE TOP OF HIS VOICE...I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT I AM I HAVE NO INTENTION OF CHANGING...THIS WAS AFTER A SIBLING SAID TO HIM...OMG YOU HAVENT CHANGED..HE USED TO LOOK ON THE INTERNET TO TRY AND LABEL HIMSELF.. HE WAS TOLD HE HAD A PERSONALITY DISORDER, BUT COS A COURT HAD ORDERED HIM TO GO TO A THERAPIST...HE SAID HE MADE OUT TO HAVE A P/D DISORDER TO NOT GO TO PRISON AGAIN.... HE HAS NO FEELINGS, BUT SEEMS TO THINK B/C HE CAN STILL GET WOMEN[HE CANT BE ALL BAD..HE SAID]....I POINTED OUT THAT THE WOMEN HE GETS WILL GO WITH ANYONE AS HE WILL.. RE THE OW...YES I BELIEVE THEY GET WORSE WITH THEM...B/C NO R/S LASTS...THEY EVEN GO INTO THINKING IT WONT LAST AND ALL THAT NEGATIVE THINKING IS FOREFILLED.... HIS HONEYMOON PERIODS LAST NOT SO LONG NOW AS HE SAID TO ME...ITS TO MUCH EFFORT...THEY[WELL EXNS] LEAD A TOTALLY POINTLESS LIFE...AND TODAY I WAS THINKING ALL HE USED TO TALK ABOUT WAS WOMEN..SEX..WHO HE HAS DONE...WHO HE WANTS TO DO...AND THANKS TO THIS BOARD, I RELIZED FROM LITTLE COMMENTS HE MADE ..HE IS ADDICTED TO PORN ...HE IS EVERYTHING UNHUMANLY POSSIBLE IN A HUMAN BODYXXX