The Emotional Incest Of A Narcissist And The Awkward Weird Relationship With His Mom

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#1 Dec 30 - 4AM
ImStrong
ImStrong's picture

The Emotional Incest Of A Narcissist And The Awkward Weird Relationship With His Mom

I often thought about how close The Narc was with his mom..I mean close he alerted me that him and his mom will be together at the end..Just him and his mom..also he said when he gets married his mom will live with him and she wouldn't work but the wife will..then in a brushed low almost jealous voice he said.."Unless she gets a boyfriend" Like a small jealous kid he spoke those words in a haze..

It felt as if he had romantic feelings for his own mom..Now I could be wrong I mean who am I to speculate..but whoelse can observe from the inside better..than a old gf like me..

There was this time too when he was angry the day before his mother was arguing with him..and I came over the next day..He said his mom was sitting in that chair with no pants own arguing with him..bottom naked..

Now it could be normal but something didn't feel right when he said that I watched his face and the way he wanted to plug that in so I can hear was a bit off..and weird

Now I believe the mom placed emotional incest upon him..made him the man of the house ..sought of like her husband..told him don't be like your father..So he complied and because it was just him and her..and him being her only son..she placed this incestful feeling onto him..

She was always in his love life and told me in the background one day when I was on the phone with him..that "He only loves for a week"

That was the D&D Alarm .my D&D started then and probably before..

In other words My week was up..

But the one thing that screw with my mind is I wonder what mother would allow different I meen different girls come through her door like that..Without disciplining her house..This is if he's loving every week

Won't a concern mother see her son as sick and addicted to either sex..woman..attention

But what I believe is that she is A Narc herself..and the frequent women walking through her door for her son meeting and greeting her is her form of Supply..

She likes the supply of seeing women come through and Think they ill get him or have him in the long run..She likes to D&D them herself behind there back with her son..her husband ..the man of the house..

I feel like she feels she will have him forever and he will always be hers..and that those who try to keep him will be discarded..like she said in a week..

This is a bit troubling and discusting to me..A woman who parades her son as her man..but in a emotional incest was is far from a mother to me..but a psycopath just like her son..

What are your feelings on this Emotional Incest of These Narc Mothers and there fairly weird relationships..What are your stories?

Luv to hear

xx

Dec 31 - 9AM
NinjaGirl
NinjaGirl's picture

Oh yes, my ex was still

Oh yes, my ex was still living with his mother at 31 when we broke up (seven months ago), and I'm sure he's still living with her now. Actually, I believe both her children (my ex has a sister who's 29) are living with her. My ex's mom does his laundry, even folding it up for him and putting it on his bed. She does a lot of cooking, and to my knowledge, my ex has never really gone grocery shopping with her. They have dinner together every night, and then they go for a walk together. If I went over there to be with him, I had to sit through dinner first, and then have her try and insert herself in whatever we were doing. Ugh, it was awful. One night I was over sort of late, and she had already gone to bed, and I was too exhausted to drive home. I lived 30 minutes away. So I stayed on the couch DOWNSTAIRS. In the morning I quietly left, and didn't make a mess or even use the bathroom. His mom freaked out and said I couldn't sleep over again. I think his mom is a big part of the reason why we never had sex, the other part being that my ex was really only into transgender stuff.
Dec 30 - 5PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Daddy's Home

I think the ex-Psych professor was unusual in the sense that he was wedded to his father instead of his mother (well, it's legal in his home state of Massachusetts) He found the opposite sex disconcerting in its differentness, despite having a mother and a sister. He'd speak reverently of his father, but hardly anything about his mother... I once joked that he must've sprung from his father's head fully grown like Athena... he did NOT like that. He still pals around with his father. The ex-P's favorite stories involved women dressing as men. He thought that Shakespeare in "Twelfth Night" PREFERRED it when his mistress was dressed as a man (very different interpretation) In "War and Peace", Nicolai and Sonya declare their love to each other when Sonya is dressed as a male hussar, and Nicolai is wearing a dress&female clothes. He liked this scene in particular. In another scene, Marya is moved by the spirituality of the Godsfolk... and one of them is a woman who is mistaken for a man. No wonder that the ex-P married a very androgynous girlfriend. It's hard enough for us ladies to be surrogate mothers; but it's an insurmountable challenge to be a surrogate father!
Dec 30 - 5PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Daddy's Home

I think the ex-Psych professor was unusual in the sense that he was wedded to his father instead of his mother (well, it's legal in his home state of Massachusetts) He found the opposite sex disconcerting in its differentness, despite having a mother and a sister. He'd speak reverently of his father, but hardly anything about his mother... I once joked that he must've sprung from his father's head fully grown like Athena... he did NOT like that. He still pals around with his father. The ex-P's favorite stories involved women dressing as men. He thought that Shakespeare in "Twelfth Night" PREFERRED it when his mistress was dressed as a man (very different interpretation) In "War and Peace", Nicolai and Sonya declare their love to each other when Sonya is dressed as a male hussar, and Nicolai is wearing a dress&female clothes. He liked this scene in particular. In another scene, Marya is moved by the spirituality of the Godsfolk... and one of them is a woman who is mistaken for a man. No wonder that the ex-P married a very androgynous girlfriend. It's hard enough for us ladies to be surrogate mothers; but it's an insurmountable challenge to be a surrogate father!
Dec 30 - 9AM
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

Oh yes, xnh and his mommy

Oh yes, xnh and his mommy (also a narc) definitely have emotional incest/enmeshment problems. For as long as I'd known xnh, she called him multiple times a week, and they would talk on the phone for at least an hour each time. She, also, would call every weekend and talk for a minimum of two hours. So much for our household getting any "Saturday morning" time together, or having any privacy in our marriage. That NEVER happened. Xnh would go back into the other end of the house to talk to her so that I wouldn't hear the conversations. Being the snoop that I am, I started hanging out in that area to find out what they could possibly be talking about for that long. My bad, I know. Crime truly doesn't pay. They frequently were talking about OUR private marital problems, and his hideous P daughter's wild ways which xnh constantly enabled. He whined a whole lot about the daughter, but never actually DID anything to stop her behavior. EVERY holiday was always at narc xmil's house, and practically every vacation we had was at xnh's mommy's house as well. I counted it up. During the entire 16 years we were together, xnh and I had exactly FOUR vacations that were not at his mommy's house. One of those four was our honeymoon, and even on that one, xnh tried to force me into allowing his kids along because his mommy did that with him on her honeymoon with his step-father. How unromantic can you possibly get? lol. I told xnh that if the kids came, I was NOT going to marry him. On the OTHER hand, xnh drove to his mommy's at least every month (500 miles one way) the entire 16 years I was with him. Almost every long weekend, and every holiday, he was with mommy. I got sick of it, and mostly just stopped going with him. Xnh always struck me as acting more like husband and wife than mother/son. Their relationship always seems "wrong" to me. There definitely wasn't room in our marriage for me (the wife). The final "masterpiece" that xnh and his mommy pulled was when she made sure that xnh reconnected with a former girlfriend while we were still married. Apparently she had decided that "mommy knows best", and chose his next relationship. Never mind that xnh had been with me for 16 years, and never mind his relationships should REALLY be none of her business. Also, never mind that this woman is currently married and has two teen-aged kids. Xnh and OW are screwing around behind the OW's husband's back. Xnh's mommy provides xnh and OW with a "love shack" at her house when they need it. Xnh is 48 years old. What kind of "man" lets their mommy pick out their girlfriends like that? I use the term "man" VERY loosely here, BTW. lol. Xnh's relationship with his mommy is very sick and twisted, in my opinion.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Dec 30 - 9AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Mommy

Yeah, read my story, yesterday I was upset because of OW. Uh, why? Which OW am I upset about? His mom or his next victim. Idealk
Dec 30 - 8AM
Jean
Jean's picture

moms & sex & shame

I don't know my N that well, he works with me - but even people who only know him slightly do know that he is "very close" to his mother. He flies out for every holiday. He acts like he could never disappoint her. When he discarded me, it was sort of an interesting psychodrama, because what he did was humiliate me. He was projecting his own shame at having done inappropriate things with me, sexually, at work. He couldn't accept his own behavior so he turned it around on me. He told his supervisor I was "saying things that were making him uncomfortable" but over the next week or so continued to act friendly, even flirtatious and told me at one point he should "just find himself a prostitute." He then went to the (female) supervisor one more time to complain. . .thus leading to a meeting with the three of us. Since I had been under the impression for the prior 5 months that he was my friend, was attracted to me, and since I had done nothing wrong - I was naturally stunned and ambushed by this meeting. So, I think since people do to others what was done to them. . .that he was humiliated and shamed about sex, not allowed to talk about it, and went to his mother for protection (I just typed "projection" - oops, freudian slip) at the same time. The supervisor knew he was somewhat full of shit, because she had checked it out and discovered the flirtation was mutual - however, she was obligated to act on his complaints. Of course, what she doesn't know is that he initiated the whole thing, started the seduction, etc. I think these guys are really conflicted about women. They desperately need them - which is partly how they manage to be so seductive and charming and get women - but they are incredibly resentful and full of rage. Hence, the need for control. I sound so rational, don't I? Now, back to NC and working on my own inner narcissist . . .
Dec 30 - 4PM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

IAMSTRONG

Read the book called When He Loves His mom, a member of his board told me about it and it SAYS it ALL, I firmly believe and have mentioned many time here that his mother destroyed him, as a young toddler growing up. She was a narc herself and saw him as an extension of herself, not as a separate little boy who was loved for being his own true self, she must have been very critical and demanding of him as well, yet at the same time smothered and doted on him/ A mishmash of feelings towards him, once I pointed my finer at him to make a point and he looked at me coldly and said like in a trance, don't do that ever again, and ran upstairs and put his body and head under a comforter, like a little boy who was frightened and scared of being scolded by his mother, very strange.Once i heard him in another room, call himself names," dumb, stupid, rotten N" is what he said to himself and I came from another room, wondering what the hell was going on.Always look at a man and his mother and see if they made the separation from her growing up, his father did not let him make the break from mommy, he was too distant a man, and that made all the difference.................I asked him a few months ago in a letter, perhaps he should reexamine his relationship with Mom, that perhaps that played out in his relationship with the other women in his life, and he shot back a vile letter to him, calling me all sorts of names, offering free sex on the internet, what a joke, I must have hit a nerve big time!!
Dec 30 - 4AM
fooled no longer
fooled no longer's picture

The more I read the more it

The more I read the more it removes any doubt that these men all exibit the same sick behaviors, with their mothers with their daughters. I just wish I could press a big button and all the Narc cld drop into the bemuda triangle. Really, the horror and hurt that these men cause. FUCK!