Follow up

12 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Dec 16 - 11PM
Amiee
Amiee's picture

Follow up

Went to court yesterday, spent all day doing their paperwork and waiting. There are no advocates to assist you, you have to figure it out by yourself with some brief instructions. Thought I could do it because did it before.

I spoke with the detective prior to court and he gave me more information to include with my requets...I though 2 police reports would be helpful - wrong. The judge determined that email, text, phone, and postal bombing me, my mother, and my employer, and my employer's home is not harassment or stalking. Evidently, getting my social security number is not stalking. Or getting my employers home address, email and phone isn't stalking. I am discourged.

The detective has been really nice and is actually frustrated that the Narc isn't responding to him. It appears he is following through on my requests. Also, besides the drug and alcohol clinic thing this week, the calls are decreasing...Maybe he got a clue?

Dec 17 - 6PM
Pumpkin
Pumpkin's picture

Join the club

Mine sat right next to me, staring at me and talked to me in the waiting room outside the courtroom. There was a restraining order in effect. Called the police and told him there was a witness, apparently they couldn't find the witness. Right. Judge said big deal, he probably didn't know the building and so what if he sat next to me, I said it was intimidation and I shouldn't have to put up with it. The system sucks. I'm fed up, angry and bitter.

Pumpkin

Dec 17 - 4PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Did you call Goldie?

Did you call Goldie?
Dec 18 - 10PM (Reply to #10)
Amiee
Amiee's picture

No I didn't call, I didn't

No I didn't call, I didn't see tht suggestion. I am distracted lately and screwing up a lot. I went to the advocate but she was with someone. I thought I could fill it out, I was specific. Looking back and compring to the statue, I see where i could have done things differently. I should have explained how this was stalking ie, locating my bosses email, telephone number and home address for the purpose of sending things to me. Everyone is forwarding me all the text, emails and postal mails. Also I am getting the numbers of the callers. I am maintianing a list. I am sorry that it appears I am not taking this seriously but I am. Every time I have to deal with it I have to take a day off work. This nonesense not only effect my life but my clients life. I am frustrated that it just won't end, like how long do I have to be punished for dating nut? It is hard for me to believe this is happening. And I live in Idaho...the state where animals have more rights than women and children.
Dec 17 - 3AM
Im_always_fine
Im_always_fine's picture

Is it not even criminal

Is it not even criminal harassment? I mean now we are mincing words. Isn't he violating your civil right to move through society without fear? In Canada employment is a RIGHT...if someone tries to tamper with right to work...or prevent you from being employed...it's illegal.
Dec 17 - 5PM (Reply to #8)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

The court system is all about procedure

And properly filled out detailed reports which pertain to the law and how it was violated. The r/o paperwork must be filled out properly and the wording is key, it is critical for obtaining a r/o. Harrassment is a different change than what would pertain to a r/o with no arrest for harrassment or stalking arrest or conviction. Harrasement is proven by reporting the numbers to the police department AND the phone company, in this state once 3 calls are made, AFTER it has been reported to the police AND the telephone company, THEN criminal charges are brought forth, it is pretty much the same procedure for harrassment and stalking of you, at your job, home, or public place. First it gets reported and then there needs to be documented and REPORTED to the police, examples of how this stalking has ocurred. We have laws which protect the stalker and the victim. This way you cannot take out bogus charges against just anyone. R/O are put in place IF the victim feels afraid for her safety (feels threatened by actions by the abuser) and or was physically assaulted. Hands or an object was place on the victims body or in a threatening manner. A weapon being shown to the victim with a verbal threat is enough. Verbal threats which leave you feeling unsafe as well as any unwanted physical contact, implied or executed. The R/O MUST clearly state that you were either intentionally harmed or you are now in fear of harm due to statements made by an abuser. Trying to pass off harrassment as grounds for a R/O is NOT going to fly. IF no charges have been brought forth and there is no documentation to back these claims. They are two different things. Judges go by the letter of the law, these days. They have due process and procedures which they need to follow. Most judges are NOT going to sit there and read all of your documents, you need to write it all down on the r/o paperwork AND be prepared to answer questions if asked, this is WHY I suggested that you call the woman's crisis center BEFORE you went to court and to speak the DA'S office ahead of time if criminal charges have been brought forth agains this man. The advocates do not always pop up while you are filling out the paperwork. Some times they work in the DA's office and sometime you have to call the woman's center to have them show up if it is a small courthouse. If this is a large courthouse or major city there are advocates available if you seek them out. If someone has been charged with stalking generally it becomes commonplace to have a r/o put into place. This can be requested by the DA's office at the time of the arraignment. Or a judge can go ahead and put one in place. If this is NOT done at the time of the charge the victim needs to fill out the r/o paperwork and state all of this in the paperwork and any other details pertaining to stalking, harrasment, feeling unsafe or threatened or assaulted. ClEARLY in this particular case the paperwork was NOT filled out properly and all the rest of it was not handled properly. I responded to this poster TWICE, indicating that she needed to contact the WOMAN's CENTER, the DA's office, and was welcome to call me. I cannot see where any of this was done. Please don't get discourage by this post if you NEED a r/o, if you fill out the paperwork properly and get advice from WOMAN who have been through this you should be able to secure the r/o. You CANNOT generally go with the advice of the police regarding legal matters. They have their scope and it is maintaining law and order. Some of them know nothing about these procedure's, this is NOT their area of expertise. They are the police, NOT lawyers, NOT DA's, and NOT women who specialize in handling domestic violence and stalking matters. I don't know what else to say here. If you don't want to take the advice offered on here, then maybe when you decide to listen, you can go back and try to get another one if you continue to get stalked. Also you need to call the police EVERY SINGLE time it happpens so that they can build a case. Once again, I would HIGHLY recommend that you go to the local woman's center who deal with domestic abuse and toxic relationships, get a therapist, and listen to what they have to say, and begin to do the WORK to change this. God bless, Goldie
Dec 17 - 1AM
uk lady
uk lady's picture

OMG

So in that you have provided all the obvious examples of stalking. What exactly does constitute stalking? It is unbelievable. I bet if you were a celebrity it would have been sorted out on the spot. So, what next? Do you have any other options to stop him? Dee x
Dec 17 - 1AM (Reply to #6)
Sea
Sea's picture

I am not sure where is Amiee

I am not sure where is Amiee located. For the UK and most commonwealth countries, if you complain to the police, it would be reviewed under the criminal law and penal code principles apply. Stalking is excluded in most circumstances and very hard to prove without real risk of physical harm. I am not too familiar with criminal law but this is the gist of it. I wont blame the judge or the police, their hands are tied. To be successful against the narc, it should be done as a civil case. The lawyers have a v big bandwidth here to "sue till his pants dropped". But its very time consuming and extremely costly - not worth the effort.
Dec 17 - 1AM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

Where in the world do you

Where in the world do you live where a judge would not see his behavior as harassing? It's amazing to me. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this. Stay NC................and hope that he tires of you and finds new supply.
Dec 16 - 11PM
Sea
Sea's picture

Dear Amiee, I'm sorry this is

Dear Amiee, I'm sorry this is happening to u. The only way to get even with him at the court will be to start a civil case, your lawyer can advice u 101 ways to sue him. But this is cumbersome, time consuming and costly. Totally not worth to do it on an assclown. I am praying he will disappear soon and leave u alone. Hugs!
Dec 16 - 11PM
nomoredenial
nomoredenial's picture

what the hell

how can the judge see it that way? Maybe the creep got scared
Dec 17 - 5PM (Reply to #2)
Laughs Last (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

love it

nomoredenial - love the icon you have for the photo - thanks for that. Gotta say, I loved this blog because I had a very small, weak moment where I retaliated against my N online and was afraid I'd see the cops any moment - it wasn't an attack, nor was it threatening, nor was it all that personal for him - so I'm going to sleep tonight knowing if THAT poor girls' N isn't considered harrassing, then I sure won't. I'll stop - and grow up - now.