Forgotten One

It's been 2 1/2 mons of NC -- easy to do when the narc gets married 3 weeks after you pull the plug on him. To a woman he met once, then hooked up with the day after you pulled the plug, no less.

Okay, so the marriage is a sham, he's a narc jerk, and I never want him back. Miss him sometimes (the illusion of him) but then think of the things he did and then even the missing him stops.

My problem is I was totally forgotten by him. How can this be? We were on and off for about 4 years -- he never called me his girlfriend. I was more like an unpaid prostitute, but still.

I've read a lot about narcs and realize now that I dated at least 2 others. My exhusband was bipolar and possibly a narc (had tendencies) -- yes, this is a pattern. I dated some good, stable men, though, too.

Trouble is, they all dumped me for other women or dumped me because they "really don't want a girlfriend." Even the good ones gave me that line. Then they disappeared from my life.

I have huge abandonment issues and feel like no matter what I do I am inherently forgettable. No matter what I say, do, wear, look like, etc. it will never be enough. They always say in the beginning that I have the most fantastic body, etc. (I've been a lingerie model) -- they're always hyperfocused on my looks. But we always have a lot of laughs and good conversation, too. It's not all about sex -- although I wonder now because no one stays.

Anyone else have this problem where even the good ones leave? What happens when you do the right thing by dating a nice guy, but it still goes wrong?

Sometimes I feel like I'd sell my soul to have someone stay. . . oh wait. I've already done that! :)