THIS FREAKED ME OUT DURING, AND IF POSSIBLE EVEN MORE SO NOW CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY MIND

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#1 Nov 19 - 9PM
truthseeker
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THIS FREAKED ME OUT DURING, AND IF POSSIBLE EVEN MORE SO NOW CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY MIND

I know people make noise during orgasm. I AM NOT KIDDING, HE TRULY SOUNDED DEMONIC. lIKE NOTHING I HAVE EVER ECNOUNTERED. I won't get graphic it was only alwys during a certain position, so I couldn't see he face that may have been even more traumatizing, if I had. It still haunts me.

Nov 20 - 3PM
neverlookback
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sex with him haunts me too at times

I will share with you the sounds mine made, pretty much like a beast, of course that was in the beginning in the end the man was never fully erect and I cant tell you how many times he would tell me he ejaculated when in fact I KNOW he didnt, the man was so spent and into perversion that ordinary sex was like going to first base with him, it did NOTHING for him. He always wanted viagra not because he had erection problems it was so he could half way perform when we were together. Now put an orgy in front of him and he would be at his best. I never shared that with him (thank God) He would always say he needed the Viagra so he could please me more, ha ha ha what a joke and what a lie he isnt fooling anybody nothing wrong with his penis that an orgy would not cure.
Nov 20 - 8AM
helldweller
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orgasm

This was interesting for me to read, though I am sorry you feel haunted by your experience. My own experience of his orgasm and his sounds before and during is that I craved hearing these sounds. This was the ONLY TIME that he "let go" and said something sincere, uncalculated, free of his bizarre guardedness, secretiveness and manipulation.
Nov 20 - 2PM (Reply to #12)
truthseeker
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helldweller

the only thing that was remotely sincere, was his anger. It was the only genuine emotion he ever showed. Trust me ,you would not miss the sounds he made. I am not kidding DEMONIC.
Nov 20 - 2PM (Reply to #13)
Susan32
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It's only anger, anger, anger...

The ONLY emotions the ex-P shared with me were anger, envy, constant wallowing in self-pity. The ONLY emotions he shared (and exuded) were negative ones. An abyss. I could tell the ex-P was angry even if he didn't say so. A total absence of positive emotions. He was never happy about anything... not even about being engaged. I think a normal guy would've been OVERJOYED if his girlfriend from LA were moving in with him and getting engaged to him.
Nov 19 - 9PM
betty2020
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This is because they are

This is because they are sexually demonic and sadistic. I can only imagine the demented and twisted thoughts that were going on in his head during this act. It is frighting to say the least when you begin to remember specifics that have taken place in the past. You are looking through a different set of eyes now honey. Reality is shocking when you have lived in the dark for so long. Dont stress over this. It is a completely normal reaction to an abnormal life you were in. Take a deep breath. It is all OK. xoxoxo only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Nov 20 - 1PM (Reply to #10)
Susan32
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What the real perversity is...

I was so stressed around the ex-Psych professor I was never relaxed enough to lose my clothes and "let go" with him. If it hadn't been for his pathology, I would've eagerly leapt into bed with him. The perversity with Ns/Ps isn't the sexual techniques... the techniques are beside the point. The REAL perversity is treating people like objects. So with an N/P, even normal, "vanilla" sex is perverted. It's not about the sex toys, the modes of intercourse... it's the fact that Ns/Ps only see people as a means to an end. They don't value people as people. Some men enjoy oral and anal... but that's not the point. When people see their partners and objectify them... THAT is the ultimate perversity. When sex is merely self-gratification, it's perverse... even if it's able to make babies. Self-centered sex is perverse.
Nov 19 - 9PM (Reply to #7)
truthseeker
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Betty2020

I just took a deep breath. I guess the good thing is I have only the bad memories I don't even entertain the few good ones there were.I got your hugs, thanks doll. Everytime I'mm starting to fell from from all of this he rears his ugly head in one form or another. Most recent e-mail by proxy from cousin/bestfriend(min0 this makes it doubly hurtful. I haven't spoken to her sense.I would never do something to intentionally hurt someone and how could she not know it would conjure up everything.
Nov 19 - 10PM (Reply to #8)
Briseis
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I agree with Betty, this is

I agree with Betty, this is bothering you now because it really WAS evidence of something awful, and your gut knew it at the time. Now that it is over, you are "relaxing" internally, things are safer, and this crap comes up like a volcano. Think of it like a pressure release. It really sucks while it's happening . . . but it will peter out, and then it will be gone. You WANT it gone. For the first few weeks, even months, the Narc does rear his ugly head (or someone else does it by proxy). I remember this time, and can say that it will not last forever. You will not feel so triggered with every memory as you heal. Time takes care of a lot of things. Hang in there. You are doing everything you can do, right now, and although each "eruption" hurts and distresses you, it is ALSO LEAVING YOU. It's getting out of your head and fleeing back into Hell where it came from. It's another way of looking at it.
Nov 19 - 11PM (Reply to #9)
truthseeker
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Briesis

Thanks B. this is totally unrelated, but I remember reading post about crappy gifts and the mention of Pez dispensers. I think one should be made in your likeness that we can all carry around. It will despense all you gems of wisdom.
Nov 19 - 9PM (Reply to #2)
blueeyes
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Oh gross.

I can't think about the sadistic sexual deviant aspect becaus e he repulsed me when he made making love an act, "show off". I found that sexually toward the end was weird!! It was unconscious. After the mental hospital and throughout the counseling we only had sex nocturnally. I'd wake up to him trying like as if to say "I can't make love normally, I need to start when your asleep. Talk about creepy. That was weird! Anyone else have their N wake them up because he couldn't be a man in the waking hours?
Nov 19 - 10PM (Reply to #6)
betty2020
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Mine liked his sleep but

Mine liked his sleep but when we did engage he laid there like a dead fish. It was like a chore, like doing dishes and taking out the trash. It was pretty apparent his mind was on other things. He was taking all kinds of male enhancements at this point so he could keep the wenis up long after he engaged in this hookers during the day time. Hiding this from me of course. I found the packets of Enzite in his coat pocket. He must have been popping them like tic tacs. Trying desperately to cover up that red flag from me. He was so transparent it was pathetic. I laugh at it now but at the time i was on the verge of going Lorania Bobbit on him. only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Nov 19 - 9PM (Reply to #3)
truthseeker
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Blueyes

This may or may not be related to my first Nxh. Of course I din't even realize he was one until this site. Not EVEn ready to go down that road yet. Anyway XNH used to wake me up all the time for sex. It was different. turns out he developed a condition that really exist sleep screwing. He never remembered the next day. I'm sure I'm not using the medical term for it. I do think it developed when I thought his concious ws bothering him about something. Now know what concious. as far as this XN i'r referring to hope this gives you a giggle. Told my girlfriends once good sex was like reading an epic novel and with him it was a comic strip. Where's Waldo. We all got a good laugh.
Nov 19 - 10PM (Reply to #4)
betty2020
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hahaha. I can see this is

hahaha. I can see this is going to be another peeing the pants thread!!! Sleep Screwing, I have never heard of that condition but it has to be hell for the other party. OMG..LOL. I would have to take to the guest bedroom if that were the case and take my dog with me!! Wheres Waldo!!! LMAO only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Nov 19 - 11PM (Reply to #5)
blueeyes
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i called it nocturnal sex

ATG, this is a condition? It was a weird time for me. In the morning I thought, "why can't you face me and make love?" He was scared of intimacy? But it was only at the end when the therapist was asking about our sex life and N assured him he's the man and we have no problems! Yea, in your dreams LITERALLY. I've gtg off this BB and log onto a computer to read this article. Well, or should I bother? I hate focusing on his behavior, it's exhausting. For fun I must read it. Thanks ATG.