Guess who I saw after nearly 3 years OUT?

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#1 Oct 31 - 4PM
onwithmylife
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Guess who I saw after nearly 3 years OUT?

I was working yesterday and who comes by me and ddi not even see me but the narc I have not seen in close to 3 years, he did not recognize me but when I saw huim , I scream out his name , like I had seen a ghost, and he turned and looked at me with no expression on his face, like his face was frozen the whole time. He said to me that I cheated on him when we were still together on a web site and i said no, you dumped me and then he said,no you dumped Me, meaning him. I asked if he had 5 mins to talk to me and he said no, and kept shopping while i was trying to talk with him. when he went to the register to check out, he said, again, ' I have seen your ad on the website,' he was fixated on that, as he mentioned it 2 times in the 10 mins.we saw each other, then he took his groceries and walked out the door and never gave em a second glance. He did look a lot older and shorter,and very unhappy, his whole face looked so down.The end, any thoughts?I am still in a little shock after all these years. he never once asked about me, how I was NOTHING, a true self absorbed NARC!I really thought while looking at him check out, that i was the one to carry the relationship all the years, he was along for the ride.his world consists of nothing but HIM...............

Nov 2 - 4AM
Tigerlily
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This is the proof

if you needed any, that contact = confusion even after three years! NC is for LIFE! Hugs Tigerlily
Nov 1 - 2PM
FINALLYFREE2BME
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I can relate to this because

I can relate to this because after 5 years of NC the N started consistently showing up at my new husband's band gigs. I would go into shock and have PTSD symptoms,(but I didn't show it or make eye contact.) I suggest that if you run into him again - even years from now, NC is just as important then as it was 1 week out of the relationship. Also, you can't dwell on what he thinks (I used to do this alot and it drove me crazy trying to think what he was thinking). Just know that he's doing it either because his brain is screwed up and that's how he remembers it or he's trying to get to you by accusing you of something both he and you know you didn't do. Regardless of why, it doesn't matter as you know the truth. False accusations are part of their mind games. They expect you to argue back to defend yourself. If you don't argue or even agree with their accusation (even if not true) the wind is taken out of their sails. Anyways, stay NC and don't place any importance on what he thinks of you. The worse they think of you, the more chance they'll leave you alone.
Nov 2 - 7AM (Reply to #7)
onwithmylife
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FINALLYFREE2BEME

I was always and I mean always, trying to prove myself to the man, and now looking at him from afar after 3 years i finally realize I am good enough and it is HE who is BROKEN and will never be fixed, Thanks God for letting me see him one more time..................congrats on finding a decent man, that is my next hope for myself.......
Nov 1 - 8AM
Hunter
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Lucky You.. You won the

Lucky You.. You won the jackpot .. Not.. Hunter
Nov 1 - 4AM
ifinallygotit
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wow!

I thought you moved to a new city away from him? What happened? he came to your city? Am I confused here? I am so sorry that he was mean and cold but if its any comfort, my exN, who was sweet and acted caring when I saw him after 11 months went silent again as soon as we parted, hurt like hell because I thought there was a chance he loved me still. Whether they are mean or friendly does not matter - no good comes from a visit with a narc, even though we spent so much time with them and want normal conversation. it ain't gonna happen. Both of us got taken by surprise - it may take you a bit to shake the negativity off but be glad it was just 10 minutes..
Nov 1 - 7AM (Reply to #4)
onwithmylife
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ifinallygot it

actually i moved to the state a year or so after him, we live in different cities and he comes to my city to shop as his is very small. I am going to my therapist this week just to talk about it,I needed the closure by seeing him, so even though a shock it was good for me.He looked and acted like a hermit , could not even stop shopping while I was talking with him.so sad..................we know they cannot love anyone,including themselves...........
Oct 31 - 5PM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

Oh boy............I am afraid

Oh boy............I am afraid the nest has been kicked. You will see or hear from him again soon. If he is harboring so much anger, this isn't over. He was caught off guard and unprepared, as you were. But now, you are in his head. If he is alone, and lonely.............BEWARE.
Oct 31 - 4PM
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

wow! as if no time had

wow! as if no time had passed. still accusing of crap! omg! well, they never change. my ex, i can imagine, if i dared to engage him (and i won't)...would go off as if we just broke up, yesterday. lol! now you know, without any doubts.