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He is on HARDCORE bait-mode

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#1 Dec 19 - 1PM
NessMIA
NessMIA's picture

He is on HARDCORE bait-mode

Believe it or not! (okay I do believe it.)

After the way he treated me on Saturday at the wedding we were both part of, I had a GREAT 1:1 session with goldie yesterday and it really helped me get on the right path. Before my 1:1 I was a mess and was in bed crying all morning. I blocked his e-mail, his ichat, his mom's email..everything. BOTTOM LINE: BLOCK HIM FROM EVERYTHING.

This morning I get an e-mail to my work address from a very generic hotmail account, and guess who it was?! Yep!!

"It was so great to see you on Saturday, your hair looked great, and I could tell you were happy to see me too. I miss you so much. Nothing is the same without you. Can you send me a picture of what you look like at work right now? Send me two. I miss you. I have your gifts and i can't return them...I guess I have to give them to you? :-) how about Wednesday night? can we please see each other? I won't be here for two weeks. I miss you. Do you remember we spent new years together for the first time last year? I will miss that."

great. delete. I was shaking. Not going to lie.

ps. He really needs to get over my hair

Dec 20 - 7AM
survivalist
survivalist's picture

Send me a picture of what you

Send me a picture of what you look like at work right now??? Send me two??? GROSSS!!! What is with these guys!!! Do they collect pictures of women and create shrines to themselves of their admirers?? I hate it that the N has pictures of me, as if a part of me will always be his "property". Never let him have that... I'm so happy for you! Stay strong! You're inspiring me to have a one on one with goldie too :)
Dec 20 - 12AM
peaches
peaches's picture

Wishing

I had this kind of support when I was being hoovered. Keep up the NC and I'm glad you're feeling strong.
Dec 19 - 10PM
NessMIA
NessMIA's picture

THANKS all for your words!

THANKS all for your words! He has not attempted to contact me! i feel strong tonight!!!
Dec 19 - 8PM
nomoredenial
nomoredenial's picture

good job on your part

Just another reminder how they are all the same....text book
Dec 19 - 8PM
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

The hair thing cracks me up!

Maybe he'd be happy with Cousin It from The Adam's Family.
Dec 19 - 6PM
ValiditySeeker
ValiditySeeker's picture

Dod

He really think a little flattery and dangling a couple of gifts in front of you was going to work? What a dumbass. He has a low opinion of what it would involve in order to "get" you. It would involve being a good person, not a flattering gift giver. He hasn't got a clue.
Dec 19 - 3PM
Femmegem
Femmegem's picture

Well done Ness

It must have been so difficult for you,but you got through it! And you handled his further contact really well (major blocking). Its so easy to get drawn back into these types of hoovers without the knowledge we have. It really IS power. Thank God for this forum. Well done again, you did good.
Dec 19 - 2PM
Blessed
Blessed's picture

Come closer so I can slap you!

So predictable. I knew when he offered his very theatrical comments of having to leave town and 'you can have Miami' that he would be an interesting specimen. All of the interactions that you have shared with the board have had the same Narc pattern of pull you in to push you away, or as my therapist calls it: "Come closer so I can slap you!" My guess is that he wants to pull you in and get you hooked before he leaves town, only to push you away once he returns. I speak from experience, unfortunately, and have fallen prey to the hoover more times than I like to admit. I am white knuckling it through the holidays; so far so good! Good for you calling Goldie and really taking the bull by the horns!! Impressive indeed! Stay strong! xox PS Great hair! Hahaha!
Dec 19 - 3PM (Reply to #14)
NessMIA
NessMIA's picture

I love your "Come Closer so I

I love your "Come Closer so I can slap you" bit--that's exactly what they do!! and yes he wants to play "nice "before the holidays, so he doesn't feel like such an ass Christmas/NYE
Dec 19 - 2PM
matahari
matahari's picture

Good on you Gal

Was searching for you the past 2 days to see how did you get on with the wedding but could not find you. Gees he is so transparent.Lol! he does need to get over your hair. Keep strong you have good friends here. I will include you in my prayers tonight. You are brave and you have done well. xx
Dec 19 - 3PM (Reply to #12)
NessMIA
NessMIA's picture

He was nice to me at the

He was nice to me at the wedding for the first half and then treated me like an asshole! thank you for including me in your prayers tonight--they are needed and appreciated!
Dec 19 - 1PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Delet,delete,delet.. Goldie

Delet,delete,delete Goldie is amazing isn't she??? Hunter
Dec 19 - 3PM (Reply to #10)
NessMIA
NessMIA's picture

yes she is!! and yes the

yes she is!! and yes the power of DELETE..is amazing.
Dec 19 - 1PM
ReclaimingPower
ReclaimingPower's picture

You know that feeling you get

You know that feeling you get when you just start working out with weights? Your arms and legs actually shake/ tremble? Oh yeah baby!!!! You are building that inner strength/self love muscle...NC is the weight. To reinforce: do you SEE how sneaky and manipulative he is? He figured out that you blocked his regular ID and may have even closed your personal account....so what did he do? Went for the work one which he knows you can't delete and created a new email address. VALIDATION. Be prepared for an emotional up and down (which all contact -- even just seeing their name triggers) BUT have that list ready to re-read and make sure you jump on Youtube and watch more Vaknin and Sheridan videos when you start to soften. NessMIA BootCamp Day TWO. YOU GO GIRL! I'M SO FREAKIN' PROUD OF YOU! (((hugs))) and strength!
Dec 20 - 12AM (Reply to #8)
peaches
peaches's picture

It's that muscle I didn't know I had

and it is stiff and sore tonight! ouch!
Dec 19 - 3PM (Reply to #7)
NessMIA
NessMIA's picture

He is wayyy sneakier than I

He is wayyy sneakier than I thought he'd ever be!!! But the more he tries..the more I see just how much mental help he needs..
Dec 19 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

RP

Love this analogy !! Hunter
Dec 19 - 2PM (Reply to #3)
ReclaimingPower
ReclaimingPower's picture

:) My mind likes to

:) My mind likes to assimilate to absorb/process...it was the hardest struggle understanding why I couldn't get over the N cause I had no reference/no tie in. The more I read, the more I'm getting it and able to make these types of linkages - which are helping me with my own healing (although I still find myself screaming out the word "D*ckhead!" frequently from time to time out of the blue and sometimes in inappropriate places - lol). Hope future lessons aren't as huge as this one. ;)
Dec 19 - 4PM (Reply to #4)
Victim-no-more
Victim-no-more's picture

RP that is so funny,i do that

RP that is so funny,i do that too. I will say "fuck you!" Just right out of the blue.....i thought I was the only one.....
Dec 19 - 4PM (Reply to #5)
faith_
faith_'s picture

I have too!

I have too!
Dec 19 - 7PM (Reply to #6)
janemarie
janemarie's picture

My word is ASSHOLE!!!!

My word is ASSHOLE!!!!