1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. The Path Forward Forum
  5. He has won

He has won

7 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Sep 15 - 9AM
dabussard
dabussard's picture

He has won

One of my N's main goals was to break up my h and I. Well, over the weekend, my N called and texted me trying to get me to come and see him... I did not go... I was with my husband the whole time... My three month block had expired... My husband saw the text... He is back to not trusting me.. My H and I went to our first marriage counseling session last evening... Oh my god, we fought all night last night and my H is moving out..

I am just sick... My H is my best friend... Although we live in a sexless marriage, he is still my best friend... I am worried about the family farm that I plan to take over in November... I can't do it alone... All my hopes and dreams are bing ruined by a jacknut that will not leave me alone...

I think that the jacknut succeeded in taking me down by taking my dream away from me...

Damn Jacknut, may he rot in hell!!!

Sep 15 - 3PM
Caligirl
Caligirl's picture

I would always read your posts. I think we came here about

the same time. It sounds like you are very upset, and understandably so. You are going through a lot. You say your H is your bf and that alone is worth fighting for him. He is understandably very upset (perhaps jealous and feeling insecure, especially if he isn't able to sexually satisfy you, you say it is a sexless marriage, and the N was able to). One failed therapy session is not enough to call it quits (I know firsthand bc I've been there). Bad first sessions are common I'm sure. Why don't you tell your H what you've shared with us? That the N was only an addiction and you want nothing to do with him, that you hate him, but you love him (H) and he is your bf, and you want to spend the rest of your life with him. Apologize for the hurt you have caused him. Just to get focus, why not make a list of your priorities and goals, and you could show H (mine, I would put God first, but an example: (1) Husband (2) Family, kids (3) Farm, etc. This might help calm you. Also, many couples face sexual difficulties (I have a couple gf's in this situation), and there are sex counselors who can help with opening up communications, etc. I do wish you the best in your recovery and in your marriage. If you love your H, go after him, share what you have shared here, don't let him get away if he's a keeper. This is a huge blow to a man's pride. Maybe he just needs to know you love him. Thanks for reading and good luck.
Sep 15 - 1PM
dabussard
dabussard's picture

I am done fighting

My block wore off that very day he texted and called me.. I forgot what exact date it was to expire... I have alot more things going on is my life than to remember the exact day that the block expired... I renewed that block that very day... As for changing my number, well I just never wanted to let him win that way i guess... I have not seen my N willingly for 3 damn months... Not my damn fault he shows up at the gas station and grocery stores the same time as me... Yes, I try to change when I go.. But, it still happens.. I refuse to not have a life because that jacknut shows up everywhere I go... My marriage was in trouble long before the N... He just added more problems.. It was nice chatting with you all... Guess I need to handle this whole f*&^king situation myself...
Sep 15 - 1PM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

You change your phone number

You may not care for my response and I am sorry for this, however, YOU are allowing this to happen. He is not winning anything. Why did you not renew the block? Your husband has every right to be pissed over this, I would be too if I were your husband. He needs to SEE you take a stand to end this insanity. Change your phone number and text everyone the new phone number. People do this all the time. You are alllowing this to happen, not the Narc, it is time for you to take back control of your life and stop blaming the narc for what you are allowing him to do. You do not allow a sick fuck to take away your dream. You fight for your husband and your dream. You are giving this Narc way too much power over your life and the buck stops with you stopping it. Are you seriously going to allow a sex buddy to take down your best friend; your husband, and your farm? Seriously, listen to what you just said? Take your power back and stop allowing this to control you. You are the master of your destiny, not the narc. God bless, Goldie
Sep 15 - 10PM (Reply to #4)
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Yes Goldie I agree with you

Yes Goldie I agree with you on this one. I think when we are brutally honest with ourselves we know that we allow this to happen. For me its part of the addiction. If you are really and truly done you make sure that they cant get hold of you and if they do you send a text back asking that he not contact you every again. Or better yet you have your husband do it. I am not trying to be mean at all. I have failed in all of these areas because I am an addict but I am really trying to overcome my addiction. Its the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I have faltered many times but I pick myself up and dust myself off and try again. I have or havent done things claiming all sorts of reasons why it happened but when Im honest with myself they were excuses all of them excuses for me to stay engaged. I am finally getting to the point where I want to get better more than I want a fix. Dabussard be honest with yourself on this. Being honest with yourself its the only way out. Trust me I have had do this the hard way.
Sep 15 - 10AM
freaked
freaked's picture

with Lisa's permission,

with Lisa's permission, please send a screenshot of this page here where you have posted your confession .. i hope hubby sees sense and forgives your one mistake. Grrrrrrrr... narcs are disgusting. they have no shame.
Sep 15 - 9AM
Used
Used's picture

dab

he hasent won..no way... talk to your husband and explain that ok narc texts but you never reply...and that to lose him[your husband] you will have lost the best thing that ever happened to you...explain all you have to, be as upfront as you can....i know this is pointless now, but why didnt you change your number...i know you said you will be out of debt by november? so that is positive.....